First, I want to apologize for not being available lately. My illness is kicking my hiney, although the pain is so much better right now, so that's good. And everything going on with difficult child, my "second son", and easy child, plus filing for SSDI which is taking the wind out of my sails - I'm just emotionally and physically spent. Yesterday was difficult child's birthday. My mom came up. First off, my mom and my daughter got along beautifully all day long. We went shopping - to the book store, for clothes, to the mall. Just spent the day together. Had birthday cake. I haven't seen such peace in my daughter in years. I imagine that opening up and sharing her fears has taken a huge weight from her. That's the feeling I get. We got her a journal. It's cute. On the front it reads, "It's all about ME". I told her she should use this to write her thoughts, feelings, worries, etc for (and I whispered) the therapist. She asked me why I was whispering. (!!!) Because we were in a store and I figured she would be really upset if I said it so others could hear. I've suggested, and previous tdocs have suggested, that she keep a journal like this and she's never been interested. Last night she wrote in it for the therapist and wanted me to read it. She really is going to be, I believe, an active participant in her treatment. She, for the first time, seems to really want to make changes and get better. But, the happiness. The peace. The joy. Wow. It was breathtaking. I have so much hope.