S
Signorina
Guest
easy child must have gotten a text that difficult child was trying to reach h - and said "dad, difficult child wants you to call him".
So h called him and came to me and said "difficult child is in town and wants to stop by and pick up some things." I said "when?", he said "now", I said "OK - ask if he wants to stay for dinner." (I have no idea why I said that) H called him, found out what he wanted to get and told him to come at a specific time (15 minutes) and difficult child declined the dinner invitation.
He showed up, looking no worse for wear, and wanted his black work shoes, his dorm refrigerator and his golf clubs (?). As he hauled the golf clubs down from the garage attic, I asked if any of them were my dad's. He said - "all of them" and I said, "you can't take them." And he he didn't react and put them down.
His girlfriend was waiting in the car, he struggled to get the fridge in there, and then his skateboard rail.
He came back to the house and I asked him if he would go upstairs and say hello to his brothers. He did - I saw him glance at his redecorated room and pause and then he went into the upstairs lounge (teen cave) and he definitely noticed that we had rearranged it and had some new seating and a new flat screen replacing the 20 year old tv. He ruffled his youngest brother's hair and said "hey" to pc17 and that was all. PCs seemed nonplussed to see him and he was up there for less than a minute.
(The boys had been bugging us for a new tv and some gaming chairs for YEARS and we finally went ahead & surprised them with it on Friday- it was our way of letting the younger boys know that life goes on ... and I guess it was a little kismet at work.)
Came back downstairs and I asked him if he was OK and if he was in school. He claimed to be going to community college up there - I asked if he was full time - he said "no, just taking a landscaping class and chemistry". Then he said goodbye - no hug, no kiss - and he was gone.
All in all - he was here for about 10 minutes.
I had an inkling he was in town - his girlfriend had posted that she was coming back for her mom's birthday and when I checked difficult child's phone records - his calls/texts were showing in real time. (When he is away - they lag for 12-24 hours as I guess he is roaming or has no 3G up there.) I had also seen his "shopping list" when I checked his email account and under "things to get" were his golf clubs, his rail, and his refrigerator - so that wasn't a surprise. I can't imagine why he would need golf clubs in February except to sell them so I am glad I didn't let him take them.
I had noticed a FB post on his wall from his girlfriend's dad saying "congrats on the job" and I had texted him later that week to say "congrats on the job, I hope things work out the way you want them to and hope all is well with you..." and he texted back "thank you , hope all is well with you" and that's the only communication I had with him since he left on 1/23. I immediately regretted texting him and didn't fess up to H that I had until 5 days later.
It's been a very fraught week here. I am having some huge drama - family and work - with my brothers. I had a long phone call from my eldest brother on Wed - purportedly to see how I am doing -- he asked a lot of questions about difficult child including if I had been in touch with him to which I lied "no" (see text comment above) He also asked if I wanted him to get in touch with difficult child and I said, "no", He asked how I knew difficult child was ok - and I said I can check to see if he is using his phone. He made some inane remark about "well, what if someone stole his phone and it's not him" and I said, "I can tell it's him using his phone." Sure enough, I check difficult child's phone records later that night and my brother had called difficult child and spoken to him for about 45 minutes and had called me afterwards. Never mentioning that he had spoken to difficult child. Now I feel like he was fishing - and I am guessing he knows that I lied about not having been in touch with difficult child - but I am not sure why he was fishing. And although I didn't say anything unfortunate, I feel like my answers would have been different had I known he had just spoken to difficult child. And I am a little perturbed, but I hope in my heart he means well and I really don't think he would give difficult child bad advice. I truly hope my brother is just trying to keep the lines of communication open so I am going to chalk it up to good intentions and leave it alone and try not to dwell.
Anyway, I was getting a little weepy while on the phone with my bro - so I changed the subject to a work/benefit plan meeting we are attending next week. And we had a nice CASUAL chat about it and agreed we wanted to look into a dumb detail regarding the employee benefit plan. Unbeknownst to me ,my eldest brother later requested that information from the main office - to be sent to both of us - and my OTHER brother got wind of it and got paranoid that older bro and I are going behind his back and sent me and my 74 yo old mother a venomous email to that effect at 11:30pm on Friday. DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA. I was up all night carefully wording a response to him and an explanation to my mother and had a stress hangover all day on Saturday. I am so tired of going from one crisis to the next and I wish everyone would just leave me alone. Family businesses are NEVER a good idea. My brothers don't get along and my clueless mom was left in charge after my dad died and she doesn't need this bull.
I am seriously considering moving to MARS
So h called him and came to me and said "difficult child is in town and wants to stop by and pick up some things." I said "when?", he said "now", I said "OK - ask if he wants to stay for dinner." (I have no idea why I said that) H called him, found out what he wanted to get and told him to come at a specific time (15 minutes) and difficult child declined the dinner invitation.
He showed up, looking no worse for wear, and wanted his black work shoes, his dorm refrigerator and his golf clubs (?). As he hauled the golf clubs down from the garage attic, I asked if any of them were my dad's. He said - "all of them" and I said, "you can't take them." And he he didn't react and put them down.
His girlfriend was waiting in the car, he struggled to get the fridge in there, and then his skateboard rail.
He came back to the house and I asked him if he would go upstairs and say hello to his brothers. He did - I saw him glance at his redecorated room and pause and then he went into the upstairs lounge (teen cave) and he definitely noticed that we had rearranged it and had some new seating and a new flat screen replacing the 20 year old tv. He ruffled his youngest brother's hair and said "hey" to pc17 and that was all. PCs seemed nonplussed to see him and he was up there for less than a minute.
(The boys had been bugging us for a new tv and some gaming chairs for YEARS and we finally went ahead & surprised them with it on Friday- it was our way of letting the younger boys know that life goes on ... and I guess it was a little kismet at work.)
Came back downstairs and I asked him if he was OK and if he was in school. He claimed to be going to community college up there - I asked if he was full time - he said "no, just taking a landscaping class and chemistry". Then he said goodbye - no hug, no kiss - and he was gone.
All in all - he was here for about 10 minutes.
I had an inkling he was in town - his girlfriend had posted that she was coming back for her mom's birthday and when I checked difficult child's phone records - his calls/texts were showing in real time. (When he is away - they lag for 12-24 hours as I guess he is roaming or has no 3G up there.) I had also seen his "shopping list" when I checked his email account and under "things to get" were his golf clubs, his rail, and his refrigerator - so that wasn't a surprise. I can't imagine why he would need golf clubs in February except to sell them so I am glad I didn't let him take them.
I had noticed a FB post on his wall from his girlfriend's dad saying "congrats on the job" and I had texted him later that week to say "congrats on the job, I hope things work out the way you want them to and hope all is well with you..." and he texted back "thank you , hope all is well with you" and that's the only communication I had with him since he left on 1/23. I immediately regretted texting him and didn't fess up to H that I had until 5 days later.
It's been a very fraught week here. I am having some huge drama - family and work - with my brothers. I had a long phone call from my eldest brother on Wed - purportedly to see how I am doing -- he asked a lot of questions about difficult child including if I had been in touch with him to which I lied "no" (see text comment above) He also asked if I wanted him to get in touch with difficult child and I said, "no", He asked how I knew difficult child was ok - and I said I can check to see if he is using his phone. He made some inane remark about "well, what if someone stole his phone and it's not him" and I said, "I can tell it's him using his phone." Sure enough, I check difficult child's phone records later that night and my brother had called difficult child and spoken to him for about 45 minutes and had called me afterwards. Never mentioning that he had spoken to difficult child. Now I feel like he was fishing - and I am guessing he knows that I lied about not having been in touch with difficult child - but I am not sure why he was fishing. And although I didn't say anything unfortunate, I feel like my answers would have been different had I known he had just spoken to difficult child. And I am a little perturbed, but I hope in my heart he means well and I really don't think he would give difficult child bad advice. I truly hope my brother is just trying to keep the lines of communication open so I am going to chalk it up to good intentions and leave it alone and try not to dwell.
Anyway, I was getting a little weepy while on the phone with my bro - so I changed the subject to a work/benefit plan meeting we are attending next week. And we had a nice CASUAL chat about it and agreed we wanted to look into a dumb detail regarding the employee benefit plan. Unbeknownst to me ,my eldest brother later requested that information from the main office - to be sent to both of us - and my OTHER brother got wind of it and got paranoid that older bro and I are going behind his back and sent me and my 74 yo old mother a venomous email to that effect at 11:30pm on Friday. DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA. I was up all night carefully wording a response to him and an explanation to my mother and had a stress hangover all day on Saturday. I am so tired of going from one crisis to the next and I wish everyone would just leave me alone. Family businesses are NEVER a good idea. My brothers don't get along and my clueless mom was left in charge after my dad died and she doesn't need this bull.
I am seriously considering moving to MARS
