Since I left the airport on Wednesday I have been struggling with feelings of guilt or remorse, even though I feel that my son forced my hand and left me with no other choice. But today I realized that it wasn't guilt OR remorse, just deep sorrowful regret that it had to be this way. That did ease my conscience but did not ease the pain in my heart that I couldn't be with my son during one of the most challenging moments of his challenge-filled life. And I don't know how to cope with that. I think it's finally time to seek professional help because as loving and supportive as my husband is he's not a trained therapist and I don't want to overwhelm him with something he can't help me fix.