Linda
I'm afraid to have a neuropsychologist evaluation for the same reason. And I know if I'd had one done a few years back I'd have scored very low in IQ and working memory. I don't doubt I'd still score fairly low in the working memory part as my bulk knowledge is what was there before the Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI).
School forced me to work my brain in ways I simply couldn't at home. It also forced me to find ways to cope/adjust when my brain just couldn't do the job. Some things I still just can't do. I find it frustrating, but have to accept it. After 6 yrs.....I doubt it's coming back. But who knows? The brain is an amazing creation.
I've no doubt my IQ is lower than before the accident. But I've managed to stay on either the Dean's List or President's List at school for 3 yrs. It's not always been easy, sometimes I struggle terribly. But then I make myself remember what it was like not long after the accident. Two years of my brain being basically mush.
Still I find it quite frustrating, and sometimes downright maddening, when I discover I can't do something I did before no matter how hard I try.
Somehow I got a bonus. Before the Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) I drew well, probably very well for the most part. Yet since the Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI)......my art has taken off in directions I never dreamed possible....nor could acheive before. I used to have so much trouble taking a drawing and turning it into a color creation......always came out looking like a 3rd grader did it. Now suddenly it seems my brain can manage this in spades........and I sort of go with the flow so to speak and as amazed as everyone else at the result. Because I know I wasn't able to accomplish that before the Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI).
I still have issues that effect everyday life. Bill paying for me is very confusing.....and a bit dangerous. I can transpose numbers without even realizing I've done it. Which is why I hate that mother in law will only let me do the bills for her. I have to proof read anything I write several times because I'll transpose words, letters. I still will lose a whole train of thought in the middle of a sentence when I least expect it. And if someone tells/gives me something I need to look at/listen to and recite back, it's a no go. Brain shuts down and just won't do it.
But I'll be sitting in nursing class in the fall. I may not graduate. I may not make it thru the first quarter. But I'm giving it a shot cuz I've got to know if I can do it. Most of that subject matter is old knowledge and is still there buried in my brain. I'm hoping that will be enough to keep me from drowning in all the new knowledge that they throw at you fast and furious in the program.
You aren't a number. Your intelligence isn't a number. You are still very much Linda. The Linda I've known, admired, and respected for many years now. Those tests are good for showing problem areas........areas in which you may either need to work on or need help with. But they don't define who you are as a person.
I hope I said that the way I meant it to come out.
(((hugs)))