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I had an opportunity to attend an all-day workshop yesterday with Dr. Ross Greene of The Explosive Child book fame. Although I've been a fan of his for years, it was amazing to hear him in person and understand more in depth why Collaborative Problem Solving (CPS) is so important to children like ours, who in Greene's words have delays "in the development of crucial cognitive skills -- often including flexibility/adaptability, frustration tolerance and problem solving -- or have significant difficulty applying these skills when they are most needed."

Greene believes:
"Kids do well if they can."
"Behind every challenging behavior is a lagging skill and a demand for that skill (ie, an unsolved problem)."
"Unsolved problems are the specific conditions in which the demands being placed upon a child exceed the child's capacity to respond adaptively."

Furthermore, Greene believes that ODD is a meaningless diagnosis (and that the diagnosis of Conduct Disorder is "poorly understood and untreated ODD").
He also believes that the following sayings that parents and clinicians often throw around are completely unhelpful and don't give us information to solve problems:
"She just wants attention."
"He just wants his own way."
"She just wants control."
"He's manipulating us."
"She has a bad attitude."
"He's making bad choices."
"She's not motivated."

I recommend checking out Greene's website at www.livesinthebalance.org.
It contains videos on how to put CPS (Plan B) into practice. https://www.youtube.com/user/DrRossGreene

Greene also hosts a weekly web-based radio program for parents every Tuesday at noon ET during the school year. Archives of past programs are available on the website.
 

Fran

Former desparate mom
Sounds wonderful. I need to refresh my memory of all the positive helpful info on how to approach collaborative problem solving.
I agree,by the way, with the phrases he listed:
"She just wants attention."
"He just wants his own way."
"She just wants control."
"He's manipulating us."
"She has a bad attitude."
"He's making bad choices."
"She's not motivated."
as useless phrases people pass around for lack of anything more productive to say.
Trying to help your child to do the correct things to progress in life requires their participation.
 
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