Rough day for difficult child

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Wiped Out, Jul 30, 2008.

  1. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    difficult child had a rough day today. It was the first time all summer he had a bad day at camp. He swore and had to sit out 1/2-1 hour for a time out, that led to him punching a counselor and another child and did quite a bit of swearing at the counselor. They called us, difficult child was sobbing. husband talked to him and told him to try and do some of his deep breathing and try to turn things around. He also told the counselor to give him his afternoon medications and it might help.

    He did turn it around and finished off his time at the water park with no problem.

    Then we got home and difficult child didn't like something I suggested and hit me with a plastic soda bottle in the head. This put his new crisis plan into effect. It starts with "Stop the World" -all electronics, desserts, etc are gone for the rest of the day. If he continues with violence to husband or myself he goes to over night crisis respite.

    He was really angry when we told him he was at "Stop the World". Swore, screamed (told us we shouldn't be listening to the peoples ideas about what to do when he is violent), pushed furniture around but then he calmed down and wasn't violent. He didn't have to go to crisis respite! husband had to deal with him as I was going out to a party. He said difficult child helped clean some and mostly just sat.

    So he had a rough day but.... in the end he pulled himself together twice. It's a start. I'm sure at some point he will end up at crisis respite but was glad that he stopped himself tonight.
  2. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    That does sound like a rough day. I'm glad difficult child was able to pull it together in the end, though.

  3. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Doesn't 1/2 - 1 hour seem extreme? I know that amount of a sit out would put my difficult child over the edge (his trouble starts big time when he becomes bored and that would do it).

    So glad he was able to pull it together. Maybe reviewing the day with him will help for future issues? Review why the "Stop the World" was put into place and show him that you did notice his efforts to bring himself back under control.

    Way To Go difficult child! It won't change overnight but you are showing us there is a good chance that you can pull this together.
  4. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    This sounds like a rough day for you, too. At least he stopped when he did- that is a start. They all have bad days at camp sometimes- here's hoping that tomorrow brings a better day for you both. His efforts to help straighten up a little means something, too.

    Hang in there!!
  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Heather-Thanks for the hugs-it truly was a rough day.

    Adrianne-I do think it was a long timeout especially for a kid like my difficult child who has a hard time understanding time and 5 minutes feels like an hour. I think though that his group went on a ride and was probably in line for that long of time so they didn't really have another option. Reviewing things is good but it's hard to find the right moment because he can get so angry all over again. Often I have to wait a few days until he is ready to talk about it.

    KLMNO-Thanks for the good thoughts!
  6. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    sounds like a really rough day for difficult child. I'm glad he was able to pull himself together last night. It's days like those that giving him the space to be alone will be helpful at home.

  7. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Don't you hate those phone calls. I can always feel my stomach drop to my feet when the phone rings about difficult child.

    He did turn it around. Twice. Improvement is measured in small, tiny increments. You are right, he is going to end up in crisis respite eventually. It takes so much for them to pull themselves together that somedays it just doesn't work. I'm so glad that there is "Stop The World" when he hits you. His attacks on you have been abusive to the point that I fear for you when he is older.

    I know your heart breaks when he sobs but all that boiling emotion has to come out somewhere.
    Hope he has a better day.
  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sharon-We would love to give him space, difficult child hates being alone-and doesn't like space even (maybe especially) when he needs it but we are working on it. Once husband and I told him it was Stop the World I didn't really say much more and let husband handle it which was good because when difficult child is mad at someone that person saying anything no matter how well intended just sets him off further.

    Fran-Yep those phone calls are horrible. I hate to say I was glad husband picked up the phone and not me. The fact that he turned it around twice really is cool because he never would have been able to do that a few months ago. I too am glad for the Stop the World because something has to change!

    He had a much better day today:)
  9. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I'm glad he had a better day today- you're on the right track- just remeber that and hang in there!!
  10. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    2morrow is a new day and then it is the weekend,<<<<hugs>>>>

    My difficult child II starts camp in 2 weeks and I am a nervous nelly
  11. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Poor kid. Sounds like it was all just too much for him today. Glad he was able to dig down and pull it together. That's a big deal!

    I'm holding my breath for difficult child 2... he starts day camp on Monday and I have no idea how it's going to go for him. Last year this time he was about as stable as he is today and I got called twice to come get him :( I think he got timeouts about every other day.
  12. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts


    Sorry I missed this ~ what a horrid day for difficult child. The fact that he pulled it together not once but twice in one day is nothing less than miraculous - okay, mum & dad's hard work.

    Hope the rest of this summer continues to be calm - this has to be the calmest summer you & husband have had in a few years (at least that I can remember).

  13. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Aog and GVC-I hope camp goes well for both your kids-overall difficult child has done well this year with his camps.

    KLMNO-Thanks-I hope we're on the right track!

    Linda-Yep-I think it's been the calmest summer so far. I think a huge part of it is this new program that focuses on keeping kids in the home. For one, they have paid for almost all of these camps which keeps him busy and having fun!
  14. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Personally, it sounded like a great day to me. That he could pull it together not once, but twice, is somewhere in the range of a small miracle. That he could calm down from a phone call is amazing. I know my daughter would have told me to perform a physically impossible task and then proceeded to hit whatever teacher or counselor handed her the phone. Instead, he calmed down and managed to have some fun for the rest of the day. He shoved furniture, not a person. That's pretty huge, too.

    So, it sounds like he is learning and maturing. Just think what those two episodes would have caused 6 months ago. I hope he keeps up the good work.
  15. Christy

    Christy New Member

    Glad difficult child pulled it together and his next day was better. It's great that this has been the first call of the summer and I do think 1 1/2 hours of timeout at camp would put most difficult children over the edge. Good for you for using your safety plan and good for difficult child for pulling it together.

    I hope today goes well.
  16. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh that had to be a rough day for you all. Espeically when the rest of summer has gone so well. It is a rush back to the dark days when this come on.

    He did respond well - except for hitting you on the head. Glad you have a plan in place for when that happen.