School dilemma


New Member
As most of you know from some of my other posts, I have a 12 year old difficult child, and also have two easy child's 3 and 5. I am not sure if I am posting this in the right place, but since it is supposed to be general discussion, I hope so! This post revolves NOT around my difficult child, but around my easy child's. We are nearing the end of a school year, and as both of my easy child's have been attending a private school that offers preschool programs starting at age 3, my 5 year old is to start kindergarten in the fall. The school she is currently attending has already approached me and asked if she will be attending school there. I was very honest when I told them that I had not decided yet, and then the school's dean offered up her opinion. Besides the fact that my 5 year old has EVERYONE there wrapped around her little finger (they absolutely ADORE her). In some ways, that is very useful, but in other ways, that kind of worries me. Anyway, besides that fact that they love her so much, the dean thinks that with her advanced intelligence levels and her ability to learn new things so easily and quickly, that their private school would be able to offer her a more challenging and rewarding educational experience than the public school system would.

So now I am facing the critical decision time...whether or not to send my girls to private school or public school. I see the pros and cons to both choices. With our difficult child having always been in public school before she came to live with us, the decision to send her to public school when she moved in with us was easy. But with our younger children, the decision is still looming out there and I was wondering if any of you had any advice for me on this. I am going to have to make my decision in the next few weeks if I want to make early enrollment at the private school, should we decide to send her there. I could still enroll her later, but their are choices that the parents can make regarding their classroom placement and their cirriculum that are done on a first come first serve basis, so if we do decide on private school, making early enrollment will have several benefits and choices than enrolling later and just having to take what's left over...if that makes any sense.


Active Member
There is a strong benefit to giving your PCs a sibling-difficult child-free environment. I would lean toward the private school because as they get older, they won't have to "live down" the reputation that difficult child has earned your family.


New Member
Well, this is a place where we have somewhat of an advantage, for several different reasons. This is the ONE THING that I don't have to worry about our difficult child having an impact on our decision. For starters, our difficult child is 12 and did not attend school in our district until 7th grade, and with the age difference, not only will our difficult child NOT ever be in the same school with them, but any "reputation" she leaves at school will probably be well "burnt out" before our easy child's ever get to that school.
Also (thank our lucky stars) our difficult child has not really presented any problems at school as of yet. Her behavior issues only seems to show themselves at home.

Our difficult child consumes most everything we do and every decision we make, and for once, this is a decision that we have to make that does not concern her in any way, and it is kind of nice to have "normal" problems to deal with. I hope that doesn't sound bad, but I am SURE that most of you know what I mean!!!!!

This being such a small town and all, I am actually more worried that MY reputation will have an impact on them more than I worry about our difficult child... not that I had a BAD reputation, because I didn't, but for those of you who remember high school, depending on which social circle you ran in, certain things were "expected" of you, and lets just say that I was very, "involved" in school and all the social stuff and activities that went along with it. My parents had to lock me in the house for 15 minutes just to see me and ask me how my day was!! I did FINE with managing things and still managed to graduate very high in my class with very good grades. I am more concerned that as "my daughters" they will be expected to involve themselves as I did and I am worried that they will be pressured to take on "too much".

I know that this stuff comes much later, and right now it doesn't seem to have much effect on where they go to kindergarten, because I don't think that it will matter either way while they are still young. But choosing between public and private schools is a pretty long term commitment either way, becuase NO CHILD needs the culture shock of changing from one to the other, so if she starts out there, that is where she will stay.


Active Member
If you are happy with the academics and social aspects of it and the kids are happy there and the teachers love them why change?


Well-Known Member
If you are happy with their education (not just the academics but the social stuff as well), the kids are happy, and your and husband can afford it, why make the change?

My easy child sent to private school until high school. It was right for her. difficult child attends pubic school. It is right for him. Every child is different. You need to make the decision based on each child's individual needs and your ability to afford the optimum situation.



New Member
<span style='font-size: 14pt'> <span style='font-family: Georgia'> <span style="color: #663366"> if you can afford private education & you are happy with-the program that is the way i would go.

trust me, your reputation will not impact your daughters & how they are treated. i don't think people actually spend all that much time talking about those things once you are out of HS. people move on & hopefully mature beyond the pettiness that is HS.

when kids are in school younger can & sometimes are compared to older sib when they are close in age....if oldest is a good athelete they expect much the same from younger.....or if older is very bright again expect similar of younger. that being said, i wouldn't waste any time fretting about it.

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