The words "thank you" in no way express my gratitude to all the people who responded to my (very first) post yesterday. Your kind words and welcoming tone really mean alot. I immediately felt a sense of calm and belonging. It was like instant relief, very liberating belonging to an entire community (albiet on-line)of people who live in the same emotional prison you do. I guess the saying rings true misery really does love company! Today was the first day in a long time I didn't cry!!!! I actually had a pretty good day. I took my son to a birthday party and smiled alot. My difficult child was on my mind the entire time, and the sadness was there, but it was managable. At the risk of sounding completely obssesive, I found myself thinking about all of you in anticipation to get home and turn on the computer. I really believe this site is the reason for my ability to keep it together today. So I thank you and my son thanks you too. It really makes a difference when the words "I know how you feel" are actually true as opposed to cliche.