serious issue with my daughter

[goingcrazyinwv]

My daughter is going to be 12 next month and is diagnosed with adhd and a mood disorder she is on 2mg of intuniv. A couple yrs ago she was getting violet and threatening us she was put in the hospital now all of this is gone. I think her problem now is she is hanging out with the wrong crowd. She has a hard time making friends and would do anything to keep the ones she does have.

Now for the actual problem: Yesterday I get a call from the principal saying I needed to get to the school right away he would explain when I got there. I automatically knew it was something with my daughter because it always is I get there and he told me she had brought a knife to school and he had to notify the superintendant and the state police. He also ask her if she was going to hurt someone she said no he ask her why she brought it and she said protection he ask if someone was bothering her and she said no it was incase someone tried to hurt or rape her, we have no idea where this is coming from and her thoughts and actions have us very concerned for her. she is suspended the rest of the yr and possibly next yr. we are now waiting to hear from them to set up a meeting to find out if she goes back. I am calling her dr. and therapist tomorrow. I have no idea what the police is going to do I havn't heard from them. I am very worried she has never done anything like this before and she is acting like she did nothing wrong. She is grounded until the end of school which is june 8th and she doesn't think she should be grounded. She said we are just being mean and she hopes they take her away. I just really need some advice I have no idea what to do.

Thanks,
Helen

 

[BusynMember]

I know she is young, but they start young now (my daughter started at 12). Could she be using drugs? My daughter was very shy and had just moved and the "bad" kids (druggies) were the only ones who would befriend her. That's how she got involved so young.

If not, it sounds like she may be paranoid. Maybe the medications are making her worse, not better. Stimulants can do that when a kid has a mood disorder and not just ADHD. Does she see a psychiatrist? Has she ever had a complete neuropsychologist evaluation? Since she is getting close to puberty, I'd do all I could before it hits.

Good luck to you, whatever you decide to do! Scary stuff!

 

[JJJ]

Any chance someone is or has molested her?

If she is not in counseling, I would get her into it immediately.

 

[erbaledge]

Any chance someone is or has molested her?

If she is not in counseling, I would get her into it immediately.

I second this question, as it does make me wonder when she responded with this: "she said no it was incase someone tried to hurt or rape her"

 

[goingcrazyinwv]

I honestly don't believe she has been molested or is on drugs I think this was a case of "my friend told me to do it" I know this sounds like placing the blame on someone else but that's not what I am trying to do. She has such a hard time making and keeping friends that she will do anything they ask her to do. I ask her to tell me the truth about what brought up the fear of being hurt or raped and she said there was a girl on the bus that was raped and the other kids were making fun of her and she didn't want that to happen to her. She also does go to therapy and I got her an appointment for next friday it was the earliest they could see her and she also sees her psychiatrist next week so hopefully we can get somewhere with this. We have a meeting tuesday with the principal to talk about this more and to see if they are going to let her back in school next year or if she will go to the alternative learning center. I hope they will let her back in school I think making her switch schools is really going to make her worse plus I have to provide transportation and I don't drive. I'm still having a really hard time dealing with her thou and don't really know what to do she is just not understanding why she is grounded and just won't listen to me, she has been sneaking off to the park and to her friends house. Hopefully between the dr. and the therapist and the school we can all figure something out.

 

[Marguerite]

That's a long suspension just for carrying a knife. Here it's locked in not only in departmental regulations but also in state law - a kid brings a knife to school, it's a three-day suspension. Nothing more.

Marg

 

[LittleDudesMom]

Not sure about the law in the WV, but the "zero tolerance" laws around here are such that a knife could actually been expulsion. Really depends though....

I would certainly make sure she was in counseling, which you have already done. If it's feasible, she be going at least weekly. 12 is young enough to be vulnerable to peer pressure, but old enough to know better.

Sharon

 

[timer lady]

Out of curiosity does your difficult child have an IEP & a behavior intervention plan in place at school? If there is an IEP what is her reason for Special Education & the IEP?

I ask you this because of your difficult child has a true mood disorder it might play into her skewed thinking (i.e. need a knife to protect her from an unknown threat). I believe (another might help me with this) that should protect her from expulsion but would get her suspended; likely in school suspension. Again, it's how the IEP is worded, the diagnosis & if your school district is indeed following her education plan.

 

[goingcrazyinwv]

We do not have an IEP because the school pretty much refuses to give us one. difficult child and her brother both qualify but every time I have ask the school about this they tell me they don't qualify.

I was talking tonight about this issue and my son says that he knows why difficult child took the knife to school I ask him why and he says difficult child and her friend were planning on stabbing a boy I ask him who told him and he says the friend I know he isn't lying he didn't even have to pause to think about any of it and it just isn't like him to lie but of course husband thinks this friend is lying to my son. I just told him we can't know who is lying because we don't know this girl well enough to know if she lies and we do know difficult child lies. She is at my sister's tonight so I didn't even get to talk to her about it. I was trying to enjoy a break that I so desperately needed but now I can't even do that I have a meeting at the school to worry about and also my brain is on overload thinking about what my daughter was going to do. I just have no idea what is going to happen or what to do.