My 21yo adopted dtr/dgd and her 14month old son, and her boyfriend left in June to stay with her bio mom halfway across the country. At first, I thought it might be the best thing for them. They had basically been homeless for almost two months and we had been taking care of our great grandson. She had said they needed a fresh start away from people in this small community.
We actually thought set the boyfriend would be apprehended at the airport, as he had an outstanding arrest warrant for our state. His father who helped trained police told us there's no way he was getting on a plane with a warrant. So we were expecting he would get taken Subway at the airport. But it didn't happen. That was one of the reasons we thought helping them get there would be a good idea.
They have now been there 5 months and from what I hear occasionally from x dtr-in-law ... it hasn't gone well. Although she has had two offers, the second one she never followed up on and the first one she only worked a few days. He was offered a job which he worked two days for before quitting. Xdil wants to send the boyfriend home but he has lost the ID that he had used to fly there. She thinks it would be a good idea if he was gone and dgd had a couple weeks without him there 24/7. But first he needs to get an official photo ID.
My husband and I are heartbroken. We really don't want them back in this community but we so miss our great grandson. He lived with us for two months while they were couch surfing. After the first month of them being in the other state dgd has pretty well stopped any communication with us. Occasionally I'll get a text that she will call later and then it's been weeks since that text. I am so afraid that our great grandson may end up in the system the same way his mother and sister did when they were young. We are now in our 60s and 70s and while we would try a short-term guardianship we know that adopting a toddler is not the best solution. Plus, I am not sure CPS would even consider us...
After they left here back in June, we found out they were heavily into drugs. There are times he is abusive to her. And probably times that the baby should not have been in their care. They were evicted from their low income housing. And after they moved out I went through their apartment trying to find the baby's belongings and it was disgusting. We hadn't been inside their apartment for over six months and had no clue that it had gotten so bad.
I am still going to Al-Anon meetings and trying to work the program for me. I so wish a child had not been born into this mess. But I'm not sure how to navigate the future when a precious little boy needs stability. I'm not sure what advice would be helpful as I already know the future is out of my control. But my heart hurts. We bonded with him when we had him 24/7 and his face would light up every morning when we would go to get him out of the crib. We were the people who were consistently in his life. He loved being in the stroller and going for walks. I found educational toys that he was exploring. We were there when he took his first steps. He loved playing hide and seek with us, I doubt that he even remembers who we are...
Open for suggestions or advice... ksm
We actually thought set the boyfriend would be apprehended at the airport, as he had an outstanding arrest warrant for our state. His father who helped trained police told us there's no way he was getting on a plane with a warrant. So we were expecting he would get taken Subway at the airport. But it didn't happen. That was one of the reasons we thought helping them get there would be a good idea.
They have now been there 5 months and from what I hear occasionally from x dtr-in-law ... it hasn't gone well. Although she has had two offers, the second one she never followed up on and the first one she only worked a few days. He was offered a job which he worked two days for before quitting. Xdil wants to send the boyfriend home but he has lost the ID that he had used to fly there. She thinks it would be a good idea if he was gone and dgd had a couple weeks without him there 24/7. But first he needs to get an official photo ID.
My husband and I are heartbroken. We really don't want them back in this community but we so miss our great grandson. He lived with us for two months while they were couch surfing. After the first month of them being in the other state dgd has pretty well stopped any communication with us. Occasionally I'll get a text that she will call later and then it's been weeks since that text. I am so afraid that our great grandson may end up in the system the same way his mother and sister did when they were young. We are now in our 60s and 70s and while we would try a short-term guardianship we know that adopting a toddler is not the best solution. Plus, I am not sure CPS would even consider us...
After they left here back in June, we found out they were heavily into drugs. There are times he is abusive to her. And probably times that the baby should not have been in their care. They were evicted from their low income housing. And after they moved out I went through their apartment trying to find the baby's belongings and it was disgusting. We hadn't been inside their apartment for over six months and had no clue that it had gotten so bad.
I am still going to Al-Anon meetings and trying to work the program for me. I so wish a child had not been born into this mess. But I'm not sure how to navigate the future when a precious little boy needs stability. I'm not sure what advice would be helpful as I already know the future is out of my control. But my heart hurts. We bonded with him when we had him 24/7 and his face would light up every morning when we would go to get him out of the crib. We were the people who were consistently in his life. He loved being in the stroller and going for walks. I found educational toys that he was exploring. We were there when he took his first steps. He loved playing hide and seek with us, I doubt that he even remembers who we are...
Open for suggestions or advice... ksm
