So how many others of you feel this way with me?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Tiapet, May 10, 2010.

  1. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    I'm feeling pretty old, tired and a bit worn out at the moment. More old then anything I guess. I just realized after messaging runawaybunny about my joining date just how long it's been I've been here and battling (and I was battling before that even)!

    I joined this board so many years ago, 1996 and it's now 2010. That's 14 years hanging around this board!!! Yup, I've taken breaks and some of them have been long breaks (from posting but never reading).

    I don't think I've stayed ANYWHERE online in one place that long?! Not even an email account. LOL That says something for this board I think.

    So how many of you feel old? How many feel tired (or battle weary) today? How many have ever stayed somewhere like this online in one place so long? (bet I know there are others from right here on this board) ;):aww:
  2. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Well, my kids are gone from my home, so while I do feel older, I feel much less tired. I feel wiser and more calm. I'm more focused on myself and on my marriage, and my husband is usually a willing participant in keeping things working. Things rear their ugly heads from time to time, and physically I am much less able than I was even a year ago. (I feel this way every spring when I realize I can't do what I did last year without pain.) But time is indeed the great healer.
  3. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I didn't find the board until 2003. I joined in 04. But like you, Tia, my first difficult child is now the battle's been longer. I've taken short breaks, but never ventured very far.

    Course, wee difficult child is only 8. So only 10 more years to go. Ugh.

    I find myself really having to work at this fight, tho. With difficult child 1, it was just what I had to do. With Wee, I'm often fighting the "why bothers" within myself. But most days, I still have hope. Only time will tell, and I have to keep trying.

    But yeah, I'm with ya. I'm old, fat, and worn out. ANd overwhelmingly thankful for this place that makes me feel like I fit in.
    Last edited: May 10, 2010
  4. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    witz, I honestly can't wait for the day mine are all out of the house! I know I say this now and when the time comes maybe I won't feel exactly that way (if things do end up changing and gfgness gets better) when the time comes. But I do look forward to peacefulness very much. Even with one going off I know that it is one less flame I have to extinguish soon between siblings when they go at each other. I'll take it, small as it may be. I think I'm wiser and hope to continue to become wiser until the day I die. Calmer? Sort of. I've learned over the years some things to just let go of and something I can NEVER let go as I know where they will head real quick if I did.

    shari, my youngest is 11 so I have 7 more years until he graduates (assuming he will and not be kept back ever- which he a pretty good bet). The next one in line is about to turn 13. With her, all bets are off currently. She's already stayed back a year. I hope she will graduate but if something doesn't drastically change soon, she won't. She will be in juvenile detention, residential or on the streets walking. She is my toughest case going.
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well, I didnt even have the internet until January of 99 but I found this place almost immediately thereafter and joined in Feb 99. I have been here ever since and dont think I have stopped posting for more than a week or two except for my forced time out in the fall of 08! LOL. That wasnt my fault though, my body just decided to make me take a rest.

    I have been tired, sad, mad, glad, sick, up and down over the years. Now I am pretty much resigned to the way things are. Kids are grown and are pretty much who they are going to be. Their lives are mostly up to them and I am able to stay pretty detached from the problems. I do what I want, if I want to for them. I have learned to have a backbone. It helps. Now I mostly live for myself and my grands. If the kids want to come along for the ride, its fine by me.
  6. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    I was a very long member on iVillage up until last year - just didn't find it interesting anymore and the boards I visited outgrew themselves for me.

    I joined in 2004 I think and although there have been times when I need and took a break, I've never left and have to say this place has been a sanity saver for me many times. I just love the [not so] common sense advice and enjoy sharing in others' joys and sorrows, lending a kind word or sharing an idea.

    Am I battle weary? Some days but not as much these days; remaining detached is what helps keep me from going insane and losing it. I allow myself one question everyday pertaining to difficult child's job hunt and then I say nothing. easy child's love life has me wondering if underneath her cool clean demeanor there isn't a difficult child itching to get out, but I maintain my silence in that area as well. Detaching was the greatest lesson I ever learned. I'm afraid I may get so good at it people will begin to think I just don't give darn about anything!

    I feel old because my body isn't what it used to be. I can no longer do gardening all day, lifting, pushing, pulling, tilling and planting. No way - I have to hire young'uns. My legs creak when I get up from anywhere, my skins a little looser, and I can't see a danged thing without my glasses and even
  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I've been here since 2004 and don't know what I would do without this board. I've only joined one other board ever and only for a short time. This place feels like home to me now.

    Yes, these days I'm feeling battle weary-very battle weary. I do feel old on some days; mostly tired though.
  8. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    I have only been a member for about 18 months but this site has been my saving grace ! I have aged (and so has my husband) fighting this long and never ending battle of raising a difficult child. We are lucky to have a easy child too so we have many happy moments in our little world. They has been many a day that I have said " I am done, I give up!" and then I wake up the next morning and fight the good fight again. I feel my old self slipping away slowly. I used to be so outgoing and fun and excited about everything ( i know annoying) but now I feel like I cannot even hold a conversation with anyone if my difficult child is present. He sucks the life out of me and my husband but we keep trucking. I have been sad, angry, dissappointed, furious, depressed, anxious, worried, and had the pity party many a time.... I keep telling myself my difficult child is going to be something great in life and that sometimes will pull me thru the day .... :D
  9. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I've been on the board daily since 1999. Janet I didn't realize you'd joined shortly before I did?? Wow. We joined a few months apart, cuz I joined in the late spring/early summer of that year. :surprise:

    My kids have grown up with me coming to the board every day. Sometimes several times a day. lol

    Two are grown and gone with families of their own. Travis is back at home after several months at college due to finances.

    I know I really enjoyed that empty nest while I had it. LOL

    I dunno about the old part. Although grandchild # 7 is on the way. But I do know I'm tired. I don't want to deal with gfgdom now days. And I know that I sure couldn't handle it on the day in day out as I used to do when the kids were younger.

    in my opinion my reward is that they've all turned out pretty well, and my grandkids. :D

    But I can say I've at least stuck with an email just as long. The email I have is the same one I created when I joined the site all those years ago. LOL


    AKA Daisylover AKA TMom :D
  10. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Me too. I first joined in '98, I think, left, and came back, I think in '03, and stayed! I've been married for ten years, lived in this house fourteen years, been substitute teaching (off and on) for fourteen years...but I don't want to be old!

    How about we say we're well-seasoned and totally awesome? :bigsmile:

    Just noticed my join date says 2007...I was here before that, though.
  11. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    KTMom...I've done many different things re: work, including subbing for a good ten years due to difficult child "stuff" and my own health issues. Now, I'm in graduate school about to finish this summer. IT's been a weird, hard, long haul...but lately, fun and exciting. by the way, I'm not too keen on getting "older" either...but like my mom always said, "consider the alternative!" LOL!

    My join date is 2008. I think I joined another website around that time, but that one closed and restarted since then and I only go there perhaps twice a month now. I do feel that husband and I didn't really get the support/informationright help we could have used over the years with- reference to having a difficult child daughter. I am appreciative of the few that tried to help when and where they could. I am appreciative of the moms here who offered much been there done that advice and this goes double time for those who did so in a kind supportive manner. I know that I try my best to help others on this board and out in the "real" world as well. Thank you again to those who have helped me and I feel in my heart will likely continue to do so. It is sooo much appreciated. (hugs). Blessings. :D
    Lasted edited by : May 11, 2010
  12. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    HD....Lisa...daisylover...tmom...whomever you happen to be this month/year/decade..lmao...I joined as jscl117 back in 99 because I had absolutely no imagination. Like I said before, it was my first computer and my first time ever having been on the internet and I was scared to death with the whole thing.

    I got over that

    I switched back and forth between Corysmom and Dammit Janet several times over the years here, finally settling on this name after Cory grew up and I didnt want to be known as just his mom, but a person in my own right.
  13. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    I've never changed my nickname here. LOL, that's one consistent thing. As for your joining dates listed, this all came about for me because I was updating my profile, specifically signature line to get rid of the oboxious big pictures and add in stuff about the family. I noticed join date and knew I didn't join in 2003 like it said. I couldn't change it. Runawaybunny fixed it for me but it got me thinking. So many changes over the years and so much has happened. So many battles of all kinds and experiences. Some good and some truly horrific ones as well!
  14. Mom2oddson

    Mom2oddson Active Member

    The first time I found this site difficult child-A was in second grade. It was the first time I heard of ODD and was so excited that maybe, just maybe, I wasn't a horrible mom who didn't know how to take care of my kid. Of course, husband put his head in the sand and EG said I was the one with mental problems, not her dear grandson....

    So difficult child-A was 10 when he got diagnosed and I've been here ever since. I don't post often, but I read almost all the posts.

    I feel so much more than worn-out. After difficult child-A, difficult child-S and EG.... I expect everyone to have ulterior motives in all that they do. I used to be very optomistic, not anymore. Depressed, tired, wanting the battles to be over.... yep! That's me.

    Yet, I am proud of myself that I have and am surviving all of this. I'm stronger than I ever thought I was...even when I don't know how I'll survive the day.

    This site is home! It has been for a long time. And just like home, I come here for support, love, rest, a shoulder to lean on.
  15. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    I first joined in 2007 when difficult child 1 was starting to have serious run-ins with the law, rather than the minor incidents of previous years. I found this site in desperation and it has been my lifeline. Honestly, I think I would have run mad without being able to come here.

    With difficult child in an adult assisted living facility for the past few years, the depression has lifted and my overall outlook has improved. That said, I'm starting to see some early signs of trauma in Little easy child from difficult child 1's bullying, the divorce-mess and other stuff. And the Tot-Monsters are definitely showing signs of Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) and who knows what else. So...I suspect I'll be around for a while.

    Like others have said, this site is home.
  16. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    I joined here in August 2001. Eeyore was my extreme-difficult child at the time and his antics cost us the adoption of Tigger's half-sister.

    The only other support board I stuck with was an infertility suport board for two years of support and I randomly dropped in for a while but a spat between mods sent alot of old timers away so I do not know anyone there anymore.

    This board has been my anchor in this difficult child-storm so very often.
  17. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    I joined in 06, but have been battling since 99 or 00. I joined an ADHD support board first, and they members there advised me that difficult child had a lot more than ADHD going on. It was hard enough for me to accept the ADHD diagnosis, so admitting to the cyclothymia diagnosis was harder. I don't visit the ADHD board anymore, don't even remember the name of it. I think I actually joined here before 06 with the name crazymama without the 30 on the end, and I don't know when that was. I also go on a BiPolar (BP) board that is primarily for adults for husband, but I get more support and info here so I just look there every once in a while.

    Do I feel old and weary? You bet, some days more than others. After all I have gone through with difficult child and husband(who is a way bigger difficult child than difficult child) I have ended up in therapy and on AD's. I think more than old I feel tired, like my life has beaten me up. I hope that the medications and the therapy will help that, it has gotten better so something is workign.

    Even with all the trials and tribulations and tears and frustration I love my family, and my husband, very much. I have learned and am still trying to practice don't sweat the small stuff and is all small stuff.

    I would not be doing half as well nor have found the different things that help difficult child without this board. This is a wonderfu place.
  18. Star*

    Star* call 911

    I guess I hadn't really noticed the join date, but I originally joined in 1999. I know because it's the year we bought this house, I got a computer and immediately I started research on Conduct Disorders and found this board. I lurked for a long time. I used to marvel at the wisdom and commaradarie. Through the years there have been adjustments, ups, downs. Additions and tragic losses. This board has become like a family to me. I have made better friends here, than I have ever had in my life, yet I've never met any of you. (Maybe someday). I'm thankful for the haven it provides, the advice it gives, the warmth in which everyone is received, the protection it provides, the knowledge I am able to share. Maybe even a little humor along the way to brighten someones day. For me? Knowledge is power - I've become smarter and wiser....becoming older is something I can't prevent.
  19. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    Yes Star, tragic losses.....our dear friends Pico, Joybells, and Kris....... is there other warriors I've left out? Let this thread be a reminder, a testament to them and us.....of how close of a family we are and how much love and support and strength are found for what ever reason is necessary, ALWAYS!!!!