Something pleasant....

Lil

Well-Known Member
I often hesitate to post any updates anymore and I suppose this belongs on Emeritus, but I think I'll put it here to avoid my curse. I'm always afraid that if I post something good I'm going to jinx it...and things are - good. :)

Today my son texted me a recipe. Just that. No drama, no emergencies, just, "We just made this and it was AMAZING!" I joked back and forth with him a bit and he said he had to get ready for work and he loved me.

Those tend to be our conversations anymore. A quick text of something silly. Yesterday I teased him with the fact he was taking up my ability to be on Netflix and I could tell what he was watching when I tried to get it up on my phone. Before that he wanted to tell me what his girlfriend and he were making for their 1 year anniversary dinner.

They were looking at getting a place out of her parents house. He hasn't said anything since, and I haven't asked. Not my business...until I need an address or something.

This is becoming the relationship I'd hoped for, only not long-distance. He's doing okay for now. It took him moving 2 states away - and finding a very understanding girlfriend, I suspect - but he's okay. While I'm still sometimes sad thinking about the past and what we've dealt with, I now occasionally get moments when I just love him to pieces and doing that doesn't hurt.

Isn't that something?
 

Lil

Well-Known Member
I am thrilled for your family. How nice to be able to open a text or take a call without trepidation.

Oh...the trepidation is still there. I still worry that this call will be the call where he'll be in hysterics - that he lost his job or the girlfriend dumped him or this or that or the other. I suspect it will be a good long while before that goes away, if ever, but the phone doesn't cause the gut-wrenching panic - my heart doesn't literally skip a beat and my stomach drop to my shoes, as it used to.

Definite improvement.

Knock on wood. Fingers crossed.
 

Tanya M

Living with an attitude of gratitude
Staff member
Before that he wanted to tell me what his girlfriend and he were making for their 1 year anniversary dinner.
Lil, this is really something!! 1 year is quite an accomplishment.

I'm so happy he is doing better. Thanks for sharing.
 

recoveringenabler

Well-Known Member
Staff member
What a sweet post Lil, I smiled reading it remembering what you guys went thru awhile back. It's good to acknowledge the goodness.......relish it.....

......today is a good day!
 

Wussenabler

New Member
Oh...the trepidation is still there. I still worry that this call will be the call where he'll be in hysterics - that he lost his job or the girlfriend dumped him or this or that or the other. I suspect it will be a good long while before that goes away, if ever, but the phone doesn't cause the gut-wrenching panic - my heart doesn't literally skip a beat and my stomach drop to my shoes, as it used to.

Definite improvement.

Knock on wood. Fingers crossed.
I too began having panic attacks every time my phone rang While on my morning walk I thought I need a day without the shoe over my head. I decided then that I would not answer any calls for 24 hours. I cut my phone off and had the best day I had had in years. My difficult child has accepted that I may or may not answer his calls. He refers to my phone as "Waldo". A small victory but a victory none the less.
 

Lil

Well-Known Member
Not sure about posting this...so I'm just tagging it on to the end of this update. I may delete it...

Did I jinx? Well, I thought maybe I had for a bit last night.

Son texted me last night, questioning about what is needed to sue his employer. Not for him. His girlfriend has begun working there also and I guess just in the last day or so was assaulted (not physically injured) in the parking lot in broad daylight! Police were called, but the man ran away and so is at large. They have no security and no cameras in the lot and, worse, didn't contact son though he was at work at the time, though he's her emergency contact and she asked for him. There's been a manger making remarks about it to someone as well. Obviously, girlfriend is very shaken by it. Son and girlfriend are apparently seeing a counselor today. He's trying to be as supportive as possible.

Obviously, I don't know the law of that state, so told son that they'd need to weigh their options and contact a lawyer there...and to ask themselves if it's worth their jobs. I was very worried about him - his temper is ridiculous and sometimes scary...he's had legendary tantrums since the age of 3 and they never stopped through age 21! I told him, "Do not go off on these people and get yourself fired." He replied he was smarter than that - but it was clear he's just livid about it - with good reason. When I cautioned him about his temper...his remark was, "I know, but I don't want anything I yell at the [people gossiping] to get back to [girlfriend] and get her in trouble or upset her and so I'll keep my mouth shut despite my temper...I can't jeopardize both of our jobs and my promotion."

This is, without a doubt, the most mature thing I've ever heard from him. I can honestly say I don't think I've ever been as proud of him as I was reading those words. I told him so too. He's actually putting someone else's best interest before his own, showing restraint and thinking of his future.

Once again, knock on wood. I'm thinking about this as a test of both their relationship and his ability to roll with the punches. Say a little prayer for them both if you're so inclined.
 

Littleboylost

Long road but the path ahead holds hope.
Lil I can feel the breath caught in your chest. I am sending all the positive energy and prayers I can muster. Big hug to you.
 

ForeverSpring

Well-Known Member
Lil, once thet take that leap, they rarely go back, u lesd they are drug addicts. Meh, I dont like pot, but its not like being addicted to heroin. He sounds like a fine young man, picking up the love and good values he was raised with. I am as proud of him as if he were my own.
I have one kid who smokes pot and is very functional.

Love and hugs and prayers.
 
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