I guess maybe i spoke too soon about the abilify working. Today has been one of the worse days yet I believe. He wants to burn our house down, he hates me wishes I would die. difficult child says he will laugh when I die. I know he really doesnt mean it and tonight or tomorrow he will be sorry. He says he is going to tell the school tomorrow that I punched him in the face( very far from the truth). I just dont know what to do, I am scared to leave him alone, scared for him to be alone with his brother and sister just in the next room. it makes me feel like such a horrible mother, I just feel as though I could do something more. I wish probally as all of you do , for a magical cure wake up in the morning and all would be better. And sorry about the all caps, just habit I guess. My dad's eyes are bad and I usually and talking to him also while on the computer. But anyway he says it is easier for him to see caps. So for future threads I will uncap. Some days i feel like giving up, but then who will be in his corner making the daily struggle so he is not alone. And then when I look on here I feel my drama is so little compared to so many of your stories so, thanks for listening.