Nomad, I swear they don't tell us important info because they want usbto adopt the kids and they think we won't if we know.
In our case we were told nothing. It was another country, of course, but did they really know nothing? They only put down height and weight of birthmother and birthfather unknown.
To this day I believe Kay is alcohol affected. Although she has none of the facial features of fetal alcohol syndrome, which are obvious, one can have fetal alcohol Effects without looking any differently. However Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE), as it is called, causes tons of puzzling behaviors such as possibly an inability to LEARN right from wrong (yes learn) and they are just ,"off." Learning disabilities and lack of common sense and a tendency toward substance abuse are all common. Temper tantrums too. Lack of impulse control.
If the birthmother uses drugs, she almost always drinks too and usually smokes, which are all harmful to a developing baby in utero. Add in unknown mental and physical health issues of both birthparents and and we are adopting special needs children without even knowing what issues they have. Nomad, there is no way you or I will ever know for sure, but look up fetal alcohol effects. I did and thought "Kay tics every box." It helped me understand her more, but she refused all help.
I think adoptions would turn out better if our social workers frankly told us what is common in our kids. It is different territory than having a bio kid and knowing what went into his developing brain and knowing your family's medical issues.
I thought adoption was the same thing as giving birth when we adopted Kay and would have argued with anyone who said it wasn't. But I was fooling myself. It is not the same even if the love from us is the same. It is a lot like buying a beautiful used car ,(not comparing a person to a car) and finding out a few months later that the car has major hidden issues that were kept from us. So we have to try to fix the car to make it function.
No, humans are not cars. But adopting our beloved children is raising a child with an unknown history with no DNA connection to us. I once truly believed that nurture trumps nature.. Now I think nature trumps all.
Suddenly we have to help a child with totally unknown issues and we aren't sure what we are even trying to fix. Or help. If we can.
I feel very strongly that social workers should have to tell us the risks so we have a clue. I had never heard of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) or Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE). I thought my daughter was going to be a normal, healthy child.
I am praying for your squatter problem to end soon. Keep updating us,! With love!
I’m glad to hear that the squatter situation is almost resolved, though I was surprised again when they (sheriff dept) told you they couldn’t escort your daughter to get some of her belongings. I’m not sure how the squatters are able to keep your daughter out of the condo when she is the legal tenant and the person who allowed them in, in the first place! Seems bizarre to say the least. I mean, I understand the point that the owners/non-tenants can’t just enter a tenant’s home, but the lawful renter can’t go in either? Mind-blowing.
Nomad, I have seen something good come from this terrible, horrible situation: you seem stronger, you are standing up for yourself and no longer allowing your kids to disrespect you and treat you badly. Way to go!
The eviction paperwork (a default in this case) was signed at the clerk’s office today. We thought that meant eviction was near. To our huge shock, our attorney’s secretary wrote us and said to expect another MONTH fir the process to be complete. Squatters are not contesting it. They have no lease. They are felons. There are signs of drug dealing. They discarded a bag of needles in the community garbage.
I might start another thread. Very disturbed and shocked by this news.
Good news. Finally.
I’m not sure what did it exactly (I wrote the legal Secretary amd asked to write the judge. I told her that this judge literally evicted these squatters before and the community was in fear. She said no. Wth. At the same time unbeknownst to me, the wife of a HOA officer called the State attorneys office last week as well. )
Anyway, paperwork that apparently often takes two weeks was literally done this morning. We were told to expect four more weeks…so maybe we are looking at two weeks now. Although Monday was a holiday snd this seems to cause delays.
But overall better news.
We had to pay $100 for the writ of possession. They anticipate needing to use force.
I accidentally posted this twice. It’s the last week of January that I’m posting this.
It’s been awful. Very bad. Drama trauma to the max.
Daughter moved back to the previous city she lived in.
A stolen car thrown into the mix (friend of squatters).
We have a date (eviction) this time we are 99 percent sure of it. Could be one day off…but probably not. Literally everything is a go. It is in LESS than a week. Don’t wish to say exactly. Soon…this time fir certain. They will get 24 hours notice. I’ll report back when I can. It’s soon.