Stacy G?? How'd it go??


Well-Known Member
Just thought about you and wondered how your visit went. From
experience I know it was not easy. If you want some sympathetic
ears.....we're here. Hugs. DDD

Stacy G.

New Member
Hey DDD,

Thanks for asking. :smile:

I'm so tired, I mean INCREDIBLY tired. Course I guess the fact that I worked for 15 hours today (with the exception of 2 to go to court with- Adam) probably is contributing to that. :crazy:

So here's what's been going on. The visit on Saturday went okay. It was an hour long (seemed like 10) & throughout Adam would tear up which totally broke my heart. I did pretty good though, I only teared up along with- him one of those times & turned my head so hopefully he didn't see. Adam really didn't talk much, just answered questions husband or I asked him, lots of silence, made for a long visit.

No visiting hours on Sunday.

This morning he went to in front of the judge, had a court appointed attorney. They didn't even give us a choice on this, just gave us one. I guess I'm not familiar with how this stuff works, on tv they always ask. :grin: Anyway, when we got into the little courtroom there was a police officer there & he came in showing the DA a picture on his camera phone, he was NOT HAPPY. I heard them saying something about damage to federal property, federal offense, I had no idea what was going on. Come to find out, apparently when Adam was in the holding room he was taking his handcuffs & scraping them back & forth on the table edge. :hammer: :smile: I got quite nervous about that but the judge just let it go. The judge did end up giving Adam another 30 days house arrest, a phsycological evaluation :bravo: & he has to wear an ankle bracelet.

We actually got out of there pretty quick & I took Adam's hiney to school, he wasn't even late. :smile: Looking back, maybe I should have let him stay home. :frown: About 2 hours after I dropped him off at school I got a call from the assistant principle of the school. Adam has been suspended for the rest of the year. :mad: :mad: . He apparently felt the need to go on unauthorized websites on the school computers. What the heck is wrong with that kid???!!!! Is he deliberately trying to drive me insane? :crazy:

I don't even know what's going to happen now. One of the requirements of his probation is that he go to school every day & do 2 hours of studying every night. Well that's not going to happen now. Adam has also managed to fail the 9th grade although he claims he will still go to 10th but have 9th grade math, I'm not sure how that works though. I'll have to check into that. Anyway, I'm thinking that this is a violation of his probation so I don't know what they will do to him. I'm going to call them tomorrow because I'm sure as heck not going to take the chance of getting into trouble by not reporting it.

So that's been my weekend. Fun Fun, no? And Mother's Day stunk too. :grrr: Blech.

Thanks for listening. Or reading. :grin: I think I'm going crash, it's been a long day. /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/sleep.gif /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/sleep.gif


Well-Known Member
I'm sorry. "What is he thinking?" He isn't. The pot combined
with whatever diagnosis. as a difficult child makes him uncapable of thinking straight. Have you asked his PO about sending him to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or
treatment center where he will at least have to face some of his
issues......although many of our kids continue to deny them even
after residential placement!?

What is his PO like? A few of the CD family have lucked out and
gotten really experienced caring Probation people in the Juvie
programs. Fingers crossed you do too.

There's nothing I can do to make it better except let you know
that I am sending cyber hugs and caring thoughts your way. Most
of the S&A family members are doing the same. Vent often. It
does help. DDD


New Member
Once they find out he was suspended, they will probably haul him back to court for violating probation. I would ask his p.o. about having him placed somewhere. Maybe he has some ideas.

I don't get this house arrest stuff?? If my difficult child had ever been under house arrest while living home, they would have had to have me committed!!!!!

Stacy G.

New Member
I have to git (I'm a southern girl, can ya tell?) & take my daughter to softball but just wanted to say a quick thanks! :flower:

DDD, I'm still a little unsure about Adams' PO, I've only talked to her twice & both were very brief. I called her today & told her what happened, we have an appointment on Tuesday. I guess we'll see.

KFld, I probably will have to be committed! Who is being punished here, Adam or me???!!!! :crazy: :nonono: :faint:


Active Member

As DDD mentioned, some here (Suz comes to mind) had great PO's and they were instrumental in helping them help their child.

Unfortunately, we didn't have much luck. Of course, by the time my son was arrested, he had just turned 17, and here in Michigan they are considered adults - so the PO was for an adult. He didn't seem to have a clue about how to keep my son in school, etc.

I ended up getting help through my county's MHMR agency, and a sub-agency of that. There was a dual-diagnostic Residential Treatment Center (RTC) that I never even knew existed, and it was truly a turn around for my son. He had a wonderful therapist and counselor there.

Sending you gentle hugs. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now.



Active Member
If difficult child gets suspended, usually they send him to The Alternative School. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes the alternative schools have a lot of community support and the counseling is usually more individualized.

I used to tell posters to do a PINS/CHINS (person/child in need of services) until a poster PM'd me that in her state...basically the parent was the one who was punished by having to take the difficult child all these places. So you ask who gets punished here? unfortunately many times it feels like we do.

Glad you're here though. Posting helps.

Stacy G.

New Member
SunnyFlorida, difficult child got suspended from the alternative school. :crazy: He did the same thing last year, had been going to the same alternative school & got suspended about 2 weeks before school was out. :mad:

I told Adam today that the cruise we had planned on taking for vacation this year is off, not gonna sink a ton of money into something that we could very possibly not go on because of his behavior. :mad: Who knows what would be going on with him come cruise time & there wouldn't be a refund for it.

For the last few days I have been at the mad point, I'm ticked that Adam's behavior has such a negative impact on the family. I'm ticked that he consumes all of my thoughts. I have other kids & other family members I should be doing for but noooooo, it's all about Adam isn't it?

What really bother's me is that the last couple of days I've been secretly wishing that Adam would do something bad so that he would get sent back to YDC. He's at home alone all day while husband & I are at work, at least in YDC he wouldn't be smoking pot (he wouldn't right?). I'm awful aren't I? :crazy: Surely I don't really mean that. I guess I'm just tired.


Active Member
Sorry Stacy. Obviously you can see I've not kept up with the posts.

I know how frustrating this is. One difficult child's life can just consume and morph an entire family with just one episode. The emotions that come with this fluctuate from sadness to anger in a matter of minutes.

Treatment never seemed to come fast enough for me. I wanted things to be different right away and to this's still not done.

Maybe that's why I've just started an AD!

All I can offer at this point is some cyber compassion and some {{{sunny hugs}}}. I do know that posting helped me for a very long time.