Staffing or not......

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by mrscatinthehat, Mar 17, 2008.

  1. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    GFG2s staffing. Well I wouldn’t call it a staffing myself but them telling us how things are done. Period end of discussion. Not our choice not our call. Not overjoyed by this but……
    The one thing I don’t think his counselor liked for certain was me asking point blank so how is this going to be different than before. I got the well he isn’t showing his behaviors etc with us. Well no of course not he is an extended honeymooner. He can go up to six even eight months before poopy hits the fan. Not to mention he isn’t in the treatment program yet. He is just sitting idle until next month when the program starts. The previous place got all the behaviors under control too to start with. Then they started his treatment program and poof. So how will it be different here. Couldn’t get a definitive answer on that one. Uh huh go figure. This isn’t placement this isn’t juvenile detention it is more like prison on a smaller scale. Then of course I asked ok difficult child 2 will be 18 in three years from the end of this month you say the structure here is one of the things that is so much better and why he is doing better here then um what about when he gets out (if he gets out). How do they prepare him for the world that isn’t structured. I was informed that they take care of that at school. Ok. Sure.

    Then we had the IEP. Now in this we were included. And when I say included I mean asked our opinion and treated like parents. Not like oh I am not sure of the word. This IEP has real goals set in it. The only thing that was a problem was difficult child 2 said he wanted to be an EMT. UM can’t happen. Not with his record. This was brought up in the IEP meeting and he didn’t understand why I was saying he needed to be more realistic. The counselor from his cottage spelled it out nicely so I didn’t have to be the bad guy. (Thank for that small bone.) With their school program he will supposedly graduate in February of 2010. In public schools he would graduate in May/ June of 2011. I was startled by this. Then it was explained. They have year round schooling at this facility with NO breaks. Every 90 days is a new set of classes. When they have gone long enough to get all the credits boom done graduate. Then after that they have vocational classes. Welding, shop, baking…….so they can get skills to do something in the real world and hope fully function. Also they do have an extensive transition class set up to teach about real world expectations.
    They are also giving him the speech therapy he needs twice a week with no argument. No complaining on our part. The speech pathologist was even there and was an active part of things.
    So where as the staffing part of things was not so comforting, the IEP was lovely. I even complimented these folks on the realistic academic goals they set for him. Not the goals that the other schools have set to make themselves look good. (See I am willing to give praise too not just criticism).
    After it was all over one downer was when difficult child 2 made mention of wanting to talk to the egg donor at 18. I was dumb and engaged him over this. I asked him why he would want to do something like that after taking all this time to make his life better. Why would you want to be involved with toxic people? It went on for a few minutes then I realized what I was doing and asked him how his pudding was (he was eating lunch at the time). He goes nice change of subject mom and it is good. He knew what I was doing and let it happen. So ok maybe one improvement but I am so not holding my breath as I do know his pattern.

    The counselor did ask what we were looking for here. I told him I have two things on one hand I have the fantasy that I hope the miracle happens but on the other reality based hand I just want him to function properly in society. The counselor smiled and said that sounded good.
    Oh and when I asked what our part in all of this was he says come visit be supportive…. I said ok we do that. But I mean we had family sessions etc before. He said they don’t do any such thing there. Ok. So we just visit on weekends. Three hours there for a max 2 hour visit and three hours home. That sounds like it will be lovely.
    Ah well we will do it cuz that is what we do but blech.
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member

    Im sorry Beth for how hard this must be. It sounds to me like your son is in a similar institution as what we have here for longer term juvenile detention. They call them Trade Schools though there is nothing voluntary about them. We have various ones for different types of crimes. I have actually heard some good things about several of them.

    We even have one for kids with mental health issues and they hire out for therapists and psychiatrists.
  3. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Sorry things are so complicated and rough right now.......I so wish there was something I could do to make this easier for you.
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am sorry the situation with both difficult children is so difficult. At least you get to visit??

    It sounds like this academic program may be great. The other stuff, blech.

    Maybe you can find a nice bookstore or cafe or thrift store near the facility so you can go do something you like after you visit?

  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    (((((Hugs))))) Glad the IEP is a good one!
  6. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Beth - check into WORK KEYS programs - they are ALL over the US and while kids are getting their GED or diploma they can start doing Work Keys. Currently where we live there are 250 employers that will hire our kids and by the end of 2010 they expect to have 500 employers that will hire our kids IF they complete the work Keys programs and get their certificate in a specified field.

    Hugs for all the other junk. I fell out of the chair laughing - at your thanks for the bone comment. Ya THINK? It's ruff being a parent - just ruff I tell ya - now....human throw me a bone. :tongue: