mstang67chic
Going Green
Just wanted to pop in and see how you were doing after going back to work. Check in when you feel like it.
Steely?
- Thread starter mstang67chic
- Start date
Steely
Active Member
Mustang - Thanks for asking.
You know, I feel good. It was definitely the right decision. I felt comfort in the order and lack of chaos at work (even though it is retail, which in and of itself is chaos - But, it is still an organized chaos).........I felt very comforted by everyone and their own personal stories of tragedy that they shared..........And I was amazed how cool everyone was - no one tried to plow me down with hugs, or sobbing, or drama - everyone just kinda knew exactly what I needed.
Still, I was driving home and I wanted to call H. I wanted to tell her that I did it - and I was OK - and that work went well - and that I love her. She always believed in me - and she always was so happy for me if I was happy. Oh man! For now, when that happens, all I can do is shove it out of my mind, and pretend that I will call her later. Denial. I see my counselor in the morning.
Thanks again for asking.
You know, I feel good. It was definitely the right decision. I felt comfort in the order and lack of chaos at work (even though it is retail, which in and of itself is chaos - But, it is still an organized chaos).........I felt very comforted by everyone and their own personal stories of tragedy that they shared..........And I was amazed how cool everyone was - no one tried to plow me down with hugs, or sobbing, or drama - everyone just kinda knew exactly what I needed.
Still, I was driving home and I wanted to call H. I wanted to tell her that I did it - and I was OK - and that work went well - and that I love her. She always believed in me - and she always was so happy for me if I was happy. Oh man! For now, when that happens, all I can do is shove it out of my mind, and pretend that I will call her later. Denial. I see my counselor in the morning.
Thanks again for asking.
tiredmommy
Well-Known Member
I'm glad you did so well. It sounds like you needed a step toward normal after all the turmoil you've suffered. I want to tell you something about calling H. You can still talk to her, you just don't need a telephone anymore. I tell my father and grandparents what's going on all the time. It helps to remove the sting of them not physically being here for my life's special moments. And it helps me to still feel connected. I just find a quiet space and talk (don't do it in public or you'll be labelled nuts, lol!). And it's okay because it helps me to feel better. {{{Hugs}}}
nvts
Active Member
Are you kidding me? Just hang one of those cell-phone mouth pieces on your ear and yak away! I'll bet H will be on her cloud laughing her backside off seeing you do it!
Seriously, why not keep a "conversation" journal? I mean, you could even answer yourself the way that H would.
Not being a wiseaker here, but you could potentially have a best seller on your hands. You write so well here on the forum, it might be very healing for you to keep your talks on paper.
Just a thought, hon, just know that H always supported you and she's still watching, visiting and inspiring you!
Beth
trinityroyal
Well-Known Member
Steely,
Sometimes getting back into your regular routine is the right decision. I"m glad that it was in your case. With regard to talking to your sister, talk away! I still talk things over with my Grannie when I need her advice, when I"m excited about something, or just need to share it with the one who would best understand and appreciate it. She's been gone for 28 years now.
Take things one day at a time, and remember, we're all here for you.
{{{{{Hugs}}}}}
Trinity
Sometimes getting back into your regular routine is the right decision. I"m glad that it was in your case. With regard to talking to your sister, talk away! I still talk things over with my Grannie when I need her advice, when I"m excited about something, or just need to share it with the one who would best understand and appreciate it. She's been gone for 28 years now.
Take things one day at a time, and remember, we're all here for you.
{{{{{Hugs}}}}}
Trinity
hearts and roses
Mind Reader
Beth, I LOVE the idea of a 'conversation journal' - what an excellent idea!
Steely, just talk to H, she's listening and it will be better to do that than bottling it up. Hugs~
Steely, just talk to H, she's listening and it will be better to do that than bottling it up. Hugs~
mstang67chic
Going Green
Exactly!!! I should do that anyway as I talk to myself quite a bit when I'm driving.
I'm glad to hear your day went well. And I do agree with the others. Talk to H, write your conversations to her in a journal.....whatever. Don't bottle it up. I know you said you can't deal with the grief right now but this may be an easier (if there is such a thing) way of at least starting the process. Do it in the car when you're driving. Or if you think that might not be safe, go home, run a bath, light a few candles and spend some time in the tub and talk to her.
It doesn't come CLOSE to losing a sister but when I was 18, a guy I dated off and on for 2 years died in a car accident. (We never really broke up, just never made it an "official" relationship....long story) By that time, I had lost a grandmother and a family friend but that had been when I was younger. His death hit me sooooooooo hard and it's not like you're not emotional anyway when you're that age. I used to talk to him all the time and write him letters. Twenty years and a husband and son later, I find that every now and then, I still do it. (Does that make me a perv for still having the hots for a 19 year old???
)I guess my point is that you can and should still talk to her. If you think doing so might cause you to break down, scream, shout, curse and cry.........take a drive and find a nice secluded place out in the country and let loose.
Glad getting back to work helped. We're here for you. {{{{Hugs}}}}
