Just when my difficult child's drama is settling down a bit, now my step-difficult child's are in the house for the summer. My husband promised me over and over again that oldest would not come for the month. I kept asking what his plan was he just kept saying "don't worry, I'll handle it." As usual, his handling it is ignoring it and making me live with it. Step-difficult child and his mother have made our lives hell for a decade. They call police, social services, abuse hotlines, go to court, you name it. I've been accused of everything but murder, and even that my step-difficult child's claim they "have a feeling" that someday my husband and I will. husband's ex was diagnosed histrionic pd and thrives on causing chaos.
We received emails and calls that step-difficult child 1 was trying to recruit friends to come to our house this month to set me up for something. Step-difficult child's counselor wrote a letter to the judge trying to stop visitation, but she wouldn't reveal what step-difficult child was planning because she wanted to retain his trust. I understand that, but what about my safety? He was planning a crime! The boys mom is court ordered not to contact them at our house to minimize the mischief, but husband allows his son to bring a cell phone. Step-difficult child had several secret conversations with his mom, and many text messages before husband took the phone away. I was holding the phone when a text message came him from the mom calling my step-difficult child "stupid, stupid" for not following her orders. She told him she was working on another plan and if he didn't follow it he would lose them "everything."
The pattern is dad allow boys to get away with murder, mom treats them like royalty unless they refuse to cooperate in her crusade against husband and myself. She is merciless and relentless. Step-difficult child has been the nicest he's ever been to me this month, and I heard him at least try to tell his mom on the phone to stop calling him and leave him alone. I know there's a good kid buried deep in there (his only diagnosis has been extremely emotionally disturbed) and I hate to push him away because he is the unfortunate product of his parents bad parenting. But I know what he's capable of, sometimes only to get his mom off his back, but he complies none the less. He can't be trusted and each time he pulls a stunt he gets a little better at it. I won't risk it. He has a history of threatening violence and once tried to hang his little brother so he can be very physically dangerous as well.
Fortunately next week mother-in-law is taking boys for 10 days, and in the meantime a neighbor asked me to house sit. But I need a long term solution and it's become clear to me that my only solution is to leave husband. He wants custody of his sons, and is willing to take the risk. In my heart I know the boys would be better off with him, even though he has very weak parenting skills. I just can't live like this. The courts have been no help. The judge thinks no one has believed the kids accusations yet so why am I so upset about all the investigations? If she had police searching her home and repeat visits by social services I think she'd have a different view point. The judge has told the mom repeatedly to stop stirring things up, but for some reason she refuses to do anything about it. All of this turmoil contributed to my difficult child's problems and enough is enough.
We received emails and calls that step-difficult child 1 was trying to recruit friends to come to our house this month to set me up for something. Step-difficult child's counselor wrote a letter to the judge trying to stop visitation, but she wouldn't reveal what step-difficult child was planning because she wanted to retain his trust. I understand that, but what about my safety? He was planning a crime! The boys mom is court ordered not to contact them at our house to minimize the mischief, but husband allows his son to bring a cell phone. Step-difficult child had several secret conversations with his mom, and many text messages before husband took the phone away. I was holding the phone when a text message came him from the mom calling my step-difficult child "stupid, stupid" for not following her orders. She told him she was working on another plan and if he didn't follow it he would lose them "everything."
The pattern is dad allow boys to get away with murder, mom treats them like royalty unless they refuse to cooperate in her crusade against husband and myself. She is merciless and relentless. Step-difficult child has been the nicest he's ever been to me this month, and I heard him at least try to tell his mom on the phone to stop calling him and leave him alone. I know there's a good kid buried deep in there (his only diagnosis has been extremely emotionally disturbed) and I hate to push him away because he is the unfortunate product of his parents bad parenting. But I know what he's capable of, sometimes only to get his mom off his back, but he complies none the less. He can't be trusted and each time he pulls a stunt he gets a little better at it. I won't risk it. He has a history of threatening violence and once tried to hang his little brother so he can be very physically dangerous as well.
Fortunately next week mother-in-law is taking boys for 10 days, and in the meantime a neighbor asked me to house sit. But I need a long term solution and it's become clear to me that my only solution is to leave husband. He wants custody of his sons, and is willing to take the risk. In my heart I know the boys would be better off with him, even though he has very weak parenting skills. I just can't live like this. The courts have been no help. The judge thinks no one has believed the kids accusations yet so why am I so upset about all the investigations? If she had police searching her home and repeat visits by social services I think she'd have a different view point. The judge has told the mom repeatedly to stop stirring things up, but for some reason she refuses to do anything about it. All of this turmoil contributed to my difficult child's problems and enough is enough.
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