Stepson with ODD-Teenager

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Debra_Ann, Feb 6, 2008.

  1. Debra_Ann

    Debra_Ann New Member

    My stepson has ODD...he is 16. Is there anyone else who has a child this age with ODD...I need help.
  2. daralex

    daralex Clinging onto my sanity

    Hi and welcome. My 13 yr old daughter has ODD and a host of other things going on. Some days are OK but some days I think she's demonically posessed! So here come the questions . . . is he seeing a doctor/therapist?
    How long have you known he's ODD?
    Are you in fear in the house with him?
    Are you safe and is he getting help? The more info the better - it helps shape the story of his existence at the moment and yours as well. Try putting a "signature" at the bottom of your posts like the one under my post - it helps us get to know the situation better. There is tons of support here - you found the right place!
  3. KitKat

    KitKat Looking for Answers


    My stepson is 15.5 years old and has evolved with ADHD and Oppositional Defiance Disorder to ADHD and Conduct Disorder. ODD usually changes to CD in adolescent years (or at least is referred to as such by the pro's).

    Has your son received an official, professional diagnosis? If so, these types of disorders usually run in comorbidity (meaning they do not travel alone - usually in pairs). Is there a diagnosis of any other disorder that is combined with the ODD or CD?

    What is the behaviour being exhibited by your son? As an example, in our case, my stepson
    - is rude, disrespectful and refuses to adhere to family rules
    - has been suspended from school eight times since October 2007
    - has been physically violent with his sisters and brother
    - has been caught participating (albeit as a "spectator") with a group of kids who were torturing wild animals
    - cycles through various types of behaviour - mostly the non-collaborative type.

    He has been officially diagnosed with CD and is currently being re-evaluated by a neuro-psychologist. If there is any kind of this type of information that you could offer in your reply, it would really help the Group to offer you some experience and/or advice.

    Good luck...
  4. Sickntired

    Sickntired New Member

    Hi. I am raising my grandson who is 14 and has been diagnosed with ADHD/ADD and OD and then, like the others said, it has progressed to CD. I know how hard this is for you. This is the hardest thing to face every day. We have good days and bad days. Right now, because he is so oppositional, we are having very, very bad days, because in his wisdom he has decided he didn't need medicine. It is next to impossible to force a teenager to take their medications. But we got the little sucker this time. doctor prescribed a pill that "melts" almost instantly so he can't spit it, hide it in his cheek or between his fingers.

    Feels good to get one on him. It can get better. It takes an enormous amount of patience, thick skin and determination. With the right medication it does smooth out some. I know, because we have been there. We are just not there right now. Besides all of these diagnoses, they also have the problem of being a teenager, which is oppositional in itself.

    I know for myself, there are days I could pull his head off and roll it out the front door like a bowling ball. But underneath all of this, he is a very sweet young man. This "disease" is very debilitating. It floods the whole family, like a river out of its bank. I would suggest you have your difficult child tested, diagnosed, medicated, whatever you can. I personally hate to medicate mine, but I now know it is a must. He just can't function without it. And finding the right medicine is trial and error. What will work great for one will not work for the other. The one that worked great for my difficult child caused "man boobs". So, had to start all over again. Another thing you face is you can't reason with them. They do not see their behavior as anything but normal, or at least that is how mine sees it. It is always someone elses fault.

    At any rate, keep strong. Under the right circumstances, it can get better.
  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    ODD almost NEVER stands alone. It is usually the result of another disorder--the defiance is universal for kids with problems--from autistic kids, to mood disordered kids, to kids with other problems. If he is already 16, and won't go for another evaluation, not sure what to tell you. If he were younger, I'd say to have him evaluated by a neuropsychologist or Psychiatrist (with the MD). It is unlikely they'd give you only a diagnosis of ODD. AT his age, it's up to him to get help. Also, are you sure he isn't using recreational drugs or drinking? That makes our difficult children much worse. It is a common reason for teens to start acting out badly. My daughter used from ages 12-20. I know first hand. CD is usually due to untreated mental illness that goes out of control. Your best bet is to see if you can talk him into another evaluation. WElcome to the board :)
  6. jenn4anthony

    jenn4anthony New Member

    welcome to the board....

    i do not know much about ODD. There are days I think my son has ODD, then, from what I am reading here, I say nah...but he is only 5...he has ADHD as you can see from my siggy which I have to update.

    Just wanted to give you a hug. I cannot even imagine the strength you have. I think you do have it together...your family and your stepson is very very lucky to have you in their lives.
  7. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    My 16 yo daughter has ODD. She was diadnosed when she was seven and it's been difficult. The one thing I found out about her is that the harder I push the harder she pushes back.

    How long had your stepson exhibited ODD behavior? How are his grades? Is he defiant to all authority or just you? What are his friends like.

  8. mammamo

    mammamo New Member

    Hi, yes son who is 16 and ADHD and ODD. I am new here and need some help too. Hope we can talk.
  9. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    mammoo, you can start your own thread, if you like. Welcome to the board! :)
  10. Coookie

    Coookie Active Member

    Welcome to the board. :)

    been there done that with a stepson and ODD. :( Ross Green's The Explosive Child helped me greatly. It helped me put things in priority....those that were worth battling about and those that weren't. It is not an easy road to travel but you have found a very caring, supportive and knowledgeable group of parents. :)

    Keep posting, reading, learning.... it is your best tool. :)

  11. tycjcj

    tycjcj fighting for his rights

    I have a 14 year old who has ADHD and ODD which they are now calling conduct disorder because that is what they call it when as they get older. Yes it is tough. I get very frustrated to say the least. It is a constant uphill climb. It takes a lot of energy and I am drained. I am a mother of five. My youngest is 7 and my oldest is 15. I am 34. No one understands the struggles of raising a child with ODD until they do it. They lay blame on your parenting skills and judge you fo ryour mistakes. HA! LOL! If they only knew, right? But yes I have a son with ODD. I am having some problems with him at school that i am dealing with this week. It is never fun! Anyway, glad yoou found us abnd welcome to the group! There is a lot of suppport here.