Stomach churn....

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by RN0441, Aug 1, 2017.

  1. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    My son is in sober living after his last "relapse" (is it even a relapse if they aren't really in recovery but off the doctor?).

    Had been getting great feedback from the sober living peeps. I have not had a lot of communication with him directly which I felt was okay. Let him adult. He is working at a job that he likes. Three days per week since they're slow now but said yesterday he may get second job.

    I talked to him yesterday about a root canal he just had done. All went fine. They have him an antibiotic and Motrin. I had called them to warn about addiction but he doesn't know that. He is not in pain with it.

    I asked my husband to call him today and touch base. See if he's taking this all seriously etc. since he hasn't really talked to him since he saw him a few weeks ago, only by text.

    He told husband he is looking for a place to share on Craigslist; has to move. WHAT???? WTF WHAT??

    Husband told him we do not support that. He is to be in sober living one year. I immediately called the Program Director. They don't know anything about this. I'm waiting for a call back from his therapist but they did thank me for letting them know. They have him go to another sober living after this one in a step down type of program but would still see therapist there etc. Son was in group at the time.

    So confusing. Son's been doing all the meetings, engaging etc. Not seeing sponsor since he said sponsor wanted 7am meetings on Saturdays and he works late Fridays. Looking for new sponsor per them. Hmm. Program Director again said I have such great boundaries with him. Hello I'm trying to keep my son alive and away from me. Terrible right but that's the truth.

    I don't get it. Stomach churn day.
     
  2. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    It haunts us and chase us no matter what. I am so tired of it already and have only been st it a few years. I am so sorry to hear this news. There is nothing you can do but why you are doing.

    Regardless of my sons decrease in drug use and attendance at his rehab sessions and bail meetings. He is a lazy unmotivated immature person. I just don't like him or his attitude! I love him but can't stand being around him.

    I just want summer to be over I want to see how he manages in his school program. If he does not take the schooling seriously and attend regularily I want him out of my home! Drugs or no drugs!!
     
  3. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Update:

    So never heard from anyone at his Sober Living.

    He texted his dad shortly about going to see a room to rent.

    Dad said NO. You are not ready. We will all decide together when you can be on your own; no way are you ready. So he has to have everyone tell him what to do?? Yes you do need that. We once again picked you up off the ground and put you right side up. He said okay.

    I texted him not to even mention moving out of sober living. We are strictly following program recommendations. We love you and want to keep you alive. Sorry if you don't get it. You should have enough sense to know you need help with this. And some more mom stuff and he said "Geez relax".

    Ugh this is not sticking. Heaven help us all.
     
  4. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Jenga, Jenga. we all pull one more log out of the addiction pile hold our breath and wait....☹️
     
  5. mof

    mof Momdidntsignupforthis

    Ugh and double ugh.. so sorry.

    You know where I'm at, one day at a time, we have no control, etc

    This waiting for them to get it, is exhausting!!
     
  6. Albatross

    Albatross Well-Known Member

    Ugh indeed.

    My son's rehab sends weekly emails to family members. The last one stressed the importance of completing the entire program, regardless of how much better the addict seems. It warned that the time when most have a relapse is right after a resident is feeling confident and convinces his family he's ready to be on his own.

    To possibly err on the side of being too charitable, maybe your son is feeling confident and stretching his wings a little bit?

    But he certainly should have discussed that with you and hubs!

    I guess he figured he'd find the place, then talk you guys into it? Or maybe he just didn't think that far ahead.

    Secrets are their greatest enemy.

    I think what you and hubs said was JUST WONDERFUL. I so wish I'd said something similar to my son many years ago.
     
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  7. wisernow

    wisernow wisernow

    Thinking of you and your family and hope you are doing okay. I know that stomach churn well..was my best friend for many years. I don't think they know or understand the stress they cause us. I think you and hubs handled this latest incident marvelously. Now go back to living a calm and peaceful life! Hugs.
     
  8. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    There really needs to be an I feel your pain button on here.