S
sjexpress
Guest
husband and I would love nothing more than to take a family vacation out of state with the kids to a theme park they are dying to go to and have fun. We can't afford long, maybe 3 nites because the cost with flight, hotel, park tix, etc.. is up there. Our real problem is that we are just afraid to go because of difficult child and his behavior, especially the way he treats easy child. Our last family vacation was 2 yrs ago and honestly, I think we are still trying to recover!
2 yrs ago, difficult child had a baseball tournament out of state. We all went to there and then were going to continue on to more fun things to be gone about 6 nites. It was a horrible, terrible, awful time for all of us because of difficult child. I am surprised at some point someone didn't call the cops because of all the commotion at times! I know on that trip difficult child anxiety levels were up a bit because he wanted to do well in his games, but he could never let go of it. He bullied easy child for every little thing, complained about everything you can think of( the bed was too hard, room too hot or cold, didn't like breakfast choices, he didn't like the place we chose to go for lunch/dinner) If we said no to anything, he threw a fit, frequently screamed at us for the smallest of issues. He caused scenes at just about every siteseeing place we were at. difficult child wanted things his way only or no one would be happy! Finally driviing the 5 hr car ride home, husband lost it! difficult child was tormenting easy child in the car doing really mean things to him. When told to stop , difficult child just kept screaming NO, you can't make me and then was throwing things around the car. We were about 45min. from home, it was about midnite, husband pulled over into an empy parking lot, got out, opened difficult child door, unbuckled him and litteraly yanked difficult child from the car and sat him in the road! husband quick got into the car and locked the doors. easy child was beyond crying at this point and difficult child was slamming on the car begging to get in and screaming. He agreed to calm down and be quiet the rest of the ride so we let him in. Unbelieveable though was when we got home and told the kids to get ready for bed, difficult child started in again! I was never so stressed and sick in my whole life! A few months after that trip I still was not feeling well so I saw my doctor and she said my blood pressure was so high, I had to go for tests and am still on medications to help control it. It still is not low enough.
Anyway, now 2 yrs later, difficult child and easy child fight like mortal enemies as now easy child doesn't take any garbage from difficult child and gives it right back to him! I don't ever seeing this improving. We try to keep them apart sadly as much as possible. Yet, I feel bad that we really don't do anything together. Even during small day outings, things can escalate. Still, I get so jealous when I hear other families doing all these wonderful trips and having fun memories. I feel it is all so unfair to easy child to miss out.
So, each day i sit at the computer working out all the trip details, imagining how good it could be or worse, how bad. I never of course have clicked the "book it" button because we can't make that decision. We have spoken to the kids about doing things if they behave better( we try not to always direct it at difficult child). Of course they promise to try which lasts maybe a few hrs!
THe good news is last month difficult child had a baseball tournament about 4 hrs away for a week. He and husband went, I showed up for 3 days. A family member watched easy child while I was gone. difficult child did great with everything and believe me, it was different than anything he had ever done. The team had to stay in dorms together, eat what was served, when it was served, shower as a team, curfew for bedtime, etc.. husband did get to bunk with the team since he is an assist. but we never thought difficult child would do so well. We are still telling him how proud we are of him. So I do see hope but you never know.
My big problem is do I book this trip or not.? The deal offered won't last much longer. I wish it wasn't like this!!
Jan
2 yrs ago, difficult child had a baseball tournament out of state. We all went to there and then were going to continue on to more fun things to be gone about 6 nites. It was a horrible, terrible, awful time for all of us because of difficult child. I am surprised at some point someone didn't call the cops because of all the commotion at times! I know on that trip difficult child anxiety levels were up a bit because he wanted to do well in his games, but he could never let go of it. He bullied easy child for every little thing, complained about everything you can think of( the bed was too hard, room too hot or cold, didn't like breakfast choices, he didn't like the place we chose to go for lunch/dinner) If we said no to anything, he threw a fit, frequently screamed at us for the smallest of issues. He caused scenes at just about every siteseeing place we were at. difficult child wanted things his way only or no one would be happy! Finally driviing the 5 hr car ride home, husband lost it! difficult child was tormenting easy child in the car doing really mean things to him. When told to stop , difficult child just kept screaming NO, you can't make me and then was throwing things around the car. We were about 45min. from home, it was about midnite, husband pulled over into an empy parking lot, got out, opened difficult child door, unbuckled him and litteraly yanked difficult child from the car and sat him in the road! husband quick got into the car and locked the doors. easy child was beyond crying at this point and difficult child was slamming on the car begging to get in and screaming. He agreed to calm down and be quiet the rest of the ride so we let him in. Unbelieveable though was when we got home and told the kids to get ready for bed, difficult child started in again! I was never so stressed and sick in my whole life! A few months after that trip I still was not feeling well so I saw my doctor and she said my blood pressure was so high, I had to go for tests and am still on medications to help control it. It still is not low enough.
Anyway, now 2 yrs later, difficult child and easy child fight like mortal enemies as now easy child doesn't take any garbage from difficult child and gives it right back to him! I don't ever seeing this improving. We try to keep them apart sadly as much as possible. Yet, I feel bad that we really don't do anything together. Even during small day outings, things can escalate. Still, I get so jealous when I hear other families doing all these wonderful trips and having fun memories. I feel it is all so unfair to easy child to miss out.
So, each day i sit at the computer working out all the trip details, imagining how good it could be or worse, how bad. I never of course have clicked the "book it" button because we can't make that decision. We have spoken to the kids about doing things if they behave better( we try not to always direct it at difficult child). Of course they promise to try which lasts maybe a few hrs!
THe good news is last month difficult child had a baseball tournament about 4 hrs away for a week. He and husband went, I showed up for 3 days. A family member watched easy child while I was gone. difficult child did great with everything and believe me, it was different than anything he had ever done. The team had to stay in dorms together, eat what was served, when it was served, shower as a team, curfew for bedtime, etc.. husband did get to bunk with the team since he is an assist. but we never thought difficult child would do so well. We are still telling him how proud we are of him. So I do see hope but you never know.
My big problem is do I book this trip or not.? The deal offered won't last much longer. I wish it wasn't like this!!
Jan