support needed

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by compassion, May 20, 2009.

  1. compassion

    compassion Member

    She came home on wekend pass and has been out each night all night since Saturday night. I am continuing to give her her medications and am trying to detatch and stay calm, encouragin, and supportive. Thanks, Compassion
  2. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Were there rules put in place before she came home---by you??? by Residential Treatment Center (RTC)??? You have to detach and remain calm because freaking out won't help anyone---but I would be sure to inform Residential Treatment Center (RTC). Will they test when she returns? I'm sorry. Often it takes removing them completely from their home environment for a very, very long time before they are strong enough to follow the program.
  3. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Compassion, this is a safety issue. I think you need to give her a choice: Either she comes home and abides by the rule or she needs to go back to Residential Treatment Center (RTC).
  4. compassion

    compassion Member

    Yes, rules wsere in place. Here is hte deal: I knew she was not stable enough to come home but at April treatment team meeting, they insisted she was to be relaed in May. So, I set up supports (therapy: CPS authrized a at home behavior analyst but it has not come through yet)
    This was only her third home visit. Once, she did this and she refused to go back, I decided to try and deal with it outpatient. They really did not seem to go beyond surface crisis managment stuff. The old, she is adhering on the ward deal. This is a short term inpatient state progrm designed to get them out into the community after a few months. I actulaly had to beg to let her stay as long as she did (3.5 months) even though I was told oringlaly it woul dbe 6 months.
    She did come home last night and hope can keepher chnneled and safe.
    I met with her psychiatrist Monday night and she was reccomending inpatient agin but I really am hoping difficult child can make it out here and at home.
    I have strucutred actiives set up once school is out (starts June 8).
    Until then, the plan is work out at gym with personal trainer so she can get up her endurance to do the sports camps.
    I also have her set up with indiviual therapy set up three timles in next week, plus fmaily, and the rule is NA or AA oon days she does not have therapy.
    She does seem to be adhering to takng her medications:HUGE.
    The big thing will be getting the cell phone away from her (part of the rules:she uses home phone only until builds truat)
    This will be the foucs of family therapy tomoorw.
    Support needed please. I want to keepher at home if at all possible.
  5. recovering doormat

    recovering doormat Lapsed CDer

    I'm sending you supportive hugs and pats on the back. It's so hard to know what to do, sometimes you get conflicting advice and you are expected to make all the right decisions at all times. It stinks.

    I think the fact that she is cooperative about medications is fantastic. That is huge, in my opinion, because that is something I could never get my difficult child's to do, nor get support from their dad. I would make a point of telling her how proud you are of her for being mature enough to know that she needs to take responsibility for her self-care.

    I agree with-you about the cell phone, she has to earn your trust to get it back. My ex has blocked certain phone numbers from our son's phone (kids he suspected of enabling our son to smoke weed, etc.) and it is a PITA to the child. some of his more persistent friends will call his older sister, and they all get a tongue-lashing from her for using up her minutes! It has discouraged him from being in contact with certain kids.

    My ex and I were roundly criticized for bringing our son home after six weeks in a diagnostic Residential Treatment Center (RTC), against their advice to have him transferred to another Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for long term support with his dual diagnosis. I questioned our sanity. However, he's been home three months now and although he has slipped up and smoked weed a couple of times, he is tested regularly and has to answer to his PO, who made it clear that if he fails one more test he is going to SA treatment inpatient, something that he really doesn't want to do, and she has the power to make it happen. So there is a consequence. He is actively searching for a part time job, just got his water safety/safe boating certificates so he can start using the boat he helped rebuild, and wants to apply to a magnet high school in our district that specializes in information technology and engineering (college prep currciculum but electives are all geared for sciences). I'm willing to give him the chance to show us that he is committed to turning his life around.

    Most kids, if they have a good home to come back to, do not want to stay in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or psychiatric hospital. My son met many kids at his Residential Treatment Center (RTC) in PA that had been placed in group homes, hospitals and RTCs for very long periods of time, who had no real parents and no structure at all if they returned to their nearest relatives. It's so sad. My son cried for the first three days when we left him in PA but he was so anxious to get out he obeyed all the rules and made sure he would be eligible for discharge after six weeks. but he also knows that if we think he is at risk, we won't hesitate to do it again.

    Keep us posted on how things are going at home. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers for strength and courage.
  6. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Sending supportive hugs and care, and hoping your difficult child gets to remain at home and abides by your rules, activities, structure set up for her. Certainly sounds like you're doing all you can right now.
  7. maril

    maril New Member

    Hi, compassion. Maybe you already received my PM...

    I am crossing my fingers and sending support your way, too. Let us know what happens after family therapy; hopefully, there will be positive news. :D