Surgery tomorrow for "Dude", any good thought please


call 911
Hi family,

That trip to the ER last night was more than we bargained for. His lower jaw is fractured, there is a possibility that a nerve may be severed and he'll end up horse lipped or mush mouthed. Plates, and hardware, wires top and bottom and 2 arcs upper and lower. Eight hours later...I'll let you know how it goes. Then one more surgery in about 8 weeks. Eight weeks of a blender only diet. And as you've guessed the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is going to discharge him for good due to this. They said contact our caseworker. No police's a strange situation here, if I ask for a police report and involve them, they will review the tapes and if Dude instigated the fight, they will counter file an assault charge and claim the other child was defending himself, dude will go to Department of Juvenile Justice. Nice. I guess we're on our own.

If you have an extra prayer, we could use it. Thanks. Hugs
Star :tears:


(the future) MRS. GERE
:smile:Oh Lordy, Starbie. :smile:

I know I have some good thoughts to share for you and Stardude. Please keep us posted.



Active Member
Geez, Star, when it rains it pours, huh?

I think it's a scare tactic on their part for you not to sue.

I'll say a prayer for him and you.

Hey, with him home for the first eight weeks you won't have to hear him back talking since his jaw will be wired! At least there is a little silver lining to this dark cloud.


call 911
Somewhere in the midst of this (yes) either going to have euphoric silence or the words "WHAT? I can't understand you" will be the death of me.

DUDE to have surgery tomorrow, DF to have all his teeth removed soon.

Anyone? Roommate? I'm that TV detective Monk. Really!


New Member
Starb, I posted in the other thread but I will repeat some of it here. first of all I cannot believe that the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) had not already reviewed the tape. I fear that they may be threatening you to cover up something. I think if I were you I would hire a lawyer and ask him to review the tape ASAP. Hopefully it won't get "accidentally erased" before then. I would not go after the kid as much as the Residential Treatment Center (RTC). It is their responsibility to keep the residents safe. I know you have alot on your plate with the surgery and all but try to talk to a lawyer as soon as possible. This place sounds like a den of horrors that needs shaking down. -RM


Active Member
I sure hope that surgery goes/went well. Poor guy. What a horrible situation in all. I am just stunned at this facility. You know something Star, I personally wouldn't care WHAT the tapes showed, even if your difficult child started it. First, staff should have been around to stop/prevent this. It takes alot more than "a punch" to do this type of severe damage to a persons jaw. So if he started it they charge him? Fine. They also have to charge the other child, as obviously this is beyond self defence (you can only use as much force as is necesarry to protect yourself, in other words, did the other child require 8 hours of surgery just as a START? Hmmm, unreasonable force used). I'd take my chances, no way with Stardude's injuries the judge is going to throw the book at him if he DID start the fight.
Not to mention, I hope it is just your wording, but is the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) only going to review the tapes if you attempt to press charges??? That tape should have been reviewed already and if requested, copies supplied to you and the parents of other child and the police. Period. I would demand a copy, it is your right. Review it yourself before it 'disappears'. I would normally say let things go with places like this, poor management to say the least. But with this level of injury? I would darn tooting positively be at a lawyers office as soon as I had time (breath first, you must be running around nuts right now with all that is going on). Imagine what is also happening to other kids in this place? GRRR! This burns my hiney!
Aside from the disgusting procedures of this lame facility, I am sending tons and tons of good thoughts to all of you. For this surgery, recovery and for you all to find a solution that is going to work. Nothing like no plan,and unexpectadly having difficult child back home without support in place, a plan, working up to it, etc.
Also sending cyber calgon, xanax, a good book, Raoul to do foot and back massages, a big tall glass of your favorite beverage (alcohol laden of course! just this once :wink: ) and a fairy godmother to watch over all of ya!



Active Member
rejected mom, we think alike! I typed my response then read yours which posted while I was typing. God this world has gone nuts when it is normal to assume (actually to KNOW) that one needs to consider things "disappearing" "erasing" etc while ppl cover their butts!


Active Member

I'm at a loss for words. Yes, I know ... it doesn't happen often. My mouth was hanging open reading that other thread and then this one. I'd like to go to that Residential Treatment Center (RTC) with a group of Warrior Moms and show them who they are messing with.

For now, I'll forget the anger I feel towards the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and am sending many mega-hugs and prayers for you, DF and Stardude. Please give him a gentle hug from his Auntie Deb.



New Member
"IF" he instigated?
self defense?
how injured was the other kid?

sounds like a nitemare.
definetly my hugs prayers, best wishes etc.


Mom? What's a difficult child?
Hang in there Star... my jaw was hanging after reading your post I really don't understand people sometimes, a lot of the time. When is it ever enough??? {{{{HUGS}}}}


No real answers to life..
Thinking of you and your family. Who is footing the bill for the hospital? I'm ticked off for you and the treatment your difficult child has been getting at this Residential Treatment Center (RTC), makes me just shake my head. Sending healthy thoughts for a quick recovery....

:smile: :hammer: :smile: :hammer:

Sara PA

New Member
As I said in the other thread, I believe they are bluffing and there is no tape. If they had tapes and if it was a program worth anything, they would review the tapes for their own internal report of the incident.

Hound dog

Nana's are Beautiful
:wildone: OUCH!

If Dude looks like that, what's the condition of the other kid??

Holding good thoughts Star.



New Member
I know what else I forgot--
surgeon-doctor might also want a police report becuz there is such a thing as victims compensation where victims medical bills can sometimes be covered----
and becuz some insurances will not pay out for cases where a crime was commited and a person got hurt- the insurance company might demand the perpetrator pay for the standard insurance might refuse to pay.

something else? about the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) calling you to go get Rx filled becuz they d not have access to his insurance card due to thetime ofnite? pharmacy does NOT check our insurance card every single time we refill or get a rx. neither does our doctor office. I have difficulty believing that was the real issue.

I also wonder what the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is saying to the other kids parents about blame and who started it etc......are they telling the other kids parents the same thing- that they will blame him if push comes to shove?

Yeah, they are deflecting attention off their own accountability.
gosh what did the other kid use to whack your kid to break his jaw? How big was the other kid? how big is yours?

I am truly sorry your son has to have this happen and all. it really really does stink.


Going Green
I agree that something definately smells fishy about the whole tape thing. I wouldn't consider that type of damage as simply self defense. Definately look into that.

With that said................ok, jaw wired shut = no back talk. Um.....maybe you should duct tape some oven mitts on his hands so he can't, ahem, "wave" at you??? :blush: :rofl:

by the way......I once knew someone who had his mouth wired shut and he carried wire cutters with him at all times in case he needed to vomit. (so he wouldn't choke) If difficult child can be trusted to only use them in that situation, you may want to think about it. Or at least have some handy wherever he is.