Yes, a lawyer, and get your hands on that tape before its gone. Lawyers are expensive and might take time to find a great on and get the money together. So, you might want to "request" a copy of that tape before you get a lawyer. Even if he started it you'd want to know what happened and you can't trust them to tell you the truth and you can't trust difficult child to tell the truth. From some of your other posts it sounds like this place is h--- on earth. Your probably in shock right now I'm sorry this is happening to your family.
You know, Star, I've threatened to use the center of the road to get attention, myself. Either for one of my difficult child's, or for myself. In fact, its been on my mind a lot lately for the latter.
Good for you for standing up to them. Not sure what your situation is, but I'm glad its such that you can tell them to stick it. I was hoping now that they could see the real Dude, they could work for the real Dude. But I see that's not even an option now, and they're diaper (aka cover) story is insane. Its an Residential Treatment Center (RTC), where kids go when they can't stay home...criminy, why can't they just cut the crap and tell everyone what really happened...?
I'm sorry Dude acted out like that when he was lied to, that's awful. What's even worse was, while it was completley inappropriate, what else do you expect of an inflexible, explosive child who's been repeatedly betrayed by those who are supposed to be advocates for him? I guess he did what I'd be thinking real hard about myself... Poor guy. There's still consequences for actions, just sorry the actions had to be brought on by cornering him like that. Wow.
And now this...I am so sorry. I understand where you're coming from, tho. Sometimes it is best to let sleeping dogs lie, even tho its not right. Especially hard for difficult child's to understand. And sometimes you gotta get yourself out of the fire before you can start looking at who lit it. Do what you feel is best for you and yours.
As for that ice cream thing... I have a great little recipe for punch that involves orange sherbert and peach schnapps, if you want it.
Many, many hugs and prayers for you and dude and DF. I don't have much strength right now, but you need what I do have worse than I do, so lending that your way, as well.