My difficult child put our family through a pregnancy scare earlier this year. N* was on birth control -- for what was supposed to be horrible cramps and heavy bleeding. Instead, I guess it was the permission slip N* and boyfriend were looking for.
It was a false alarm, yet the emotional scars still hurt. I remember grieving...for what could have been her lost youth, and for the baby who would have suffered no matter what decision would have been made (I was an oops baby myself). I remember being angry -- so very angry. No matter that this will be HER child, she's still YOUR child, and you're well aware she's not prepared to be a mother, and you're probably angry that you have enough on your plate right now, and that a teenage pregnancy was never in your plans.
Another poster mentioned that her dad disappeared for several hours after hearing the news that she was pregnant at 17. My suspicion is, he went away to avoid ruining forever his relationship with his daughter. There were so many things that I truly yearned to say to my difficult child and her (now ex) boyfriend. I said them to my dearest friends. I vented like I've never done before. N* knew I was mad, sad, and disappointed. I was honest with her. I told her that I loved her, and that while she'd known for months she might be pregnant, I was just getting the news, and that since it was a surprise to me, I was going to need some time to be angry, grieve, adjust and adapt. I told her I was capable of all of those things, but they were not going to happen in an instant, and not overnight.
Turns out, N* was not pregnant, but I now knew that she and boyfriend were having unprotected sex. Slowly, but surely, the shock and devastation wore off...I still have a horrible time trusting her to do what she says she's doing, because I felt like such a fool. We'd talked and talked and talked about sex, boys, emotions, hormones...and still she risked everything.
My heart goes out to you and your entire family. Come here and vent, grieve, share. I am so very sorry for you.