The fidgets while on stage at his choir concert


Well-Known Member
So all the other kids are standing on the risers with their arms at their sides, and my son is leaning on one leg, then the the other, then he's looking up at the ceiling, then down, then picking imaginary lint off his shirt, then putting his hands in his pockets, then taking them out, etc. etc. etc.
I'm very proud of him whenever he stands in front of a packed house for choir, but he's the only one with that degree of fidgets. He's the most fidgety kid I've ever seen. If I had to guess, I'd say it was his sensory issues plus anxiety, but who knows? Just a puzzled little vent.


Mom? What's a difficult child?
Awww. At least he can get up there!!! Does he realize he is fidgeting? Does he enjoy himself inspite of it? Choir, how awesome!!!!

Hound dog

Nana's are Beautiful
I remember doing the same thing during choir concerts in school. I recall my stepdad and grandma complaining cuz I was always so short I had to stand in front and everyone could see me. lol

You're guess might be right on the money. Mine was both sensory and anxiety related. (didn't help I was in the front row either)

So how was the concert??

timer lady

Queen of Hearts

I remember the one & only concert in which kt participated - she was a bundle of nerves; her PCA stood in the wings encouraging her through. She never made it.

You must be so proud of difficult child.


Well-Known Member
Thanks for the responses. I'm proud, but he HAS to either take choir or band, so he's done this before. Each time, he's the same way. He was the only one fidgeting that way. We did tell him to put his hands in his pockets and he said, "All right," but I guess he couldn't do it once he got up there.
The concert was fun :smile:


New Member
Glad the concert was fun - and he made it through the whole thing, which is great!! :bravo:

Our difficult child did choir when he was attending reg. elementary school - and still participates in the orchestra. He does all of the things you mentioned, too, with the fidgeting, etc. - but it has gotten better over the years. It's now to the point that I notice it, but probably someone else wouldn't, for the most part.

Although, at last year's spring orchestra concert, difficult child mortified me by using his bow as a back scratcher. :nonono: I was trying to send him mental telepathy messages from row 20 of the high school auditorium, but it just didn't quite work. Thank God the orchestra/violin instructor is awesome and just redirected him calmly!!

I think we, as moms of difficult child's, have a unique concert-going experience, anyway. I know that ever since kindergarten, I sit there practically holding my breath - wanting so badly to just relax and enjoy the performance, but it's like I'm always waiting for something to happen. I don't let down my guard til the final curtain call. I have the feeling that no one else in the crowd has any idea at all how much it takes for our kids to actually get through the hour long event - and how relieved we are when they do it!

Good for your difficult child for getting through it - fidgets and all. I'm sure most of the other parents/adults didn't even notice it. :wink:

Both difficult child 1 and difficult child 2 fidget constantly!!! in my humble opinion, I think you're probably right about it being caused by anxiety and sensory issues. I'm pretty sure this is why difficult child 2 can't keep still when in front of lots of people.

I also WISH that my difficult children could just do what they are supposed to do during school performances and activities. However, being difficult children, I know this isn't possible!!! I know you're proud of his accomplishments though. Sensory issues and anxiety can be so difficult to deal with!!! WFEN


Active Member
Definitely sensory mostly, with anxiety as a chaser. When difficult child 3 was in the choir (which he loved) they sat his aide right next to him. They also had him sitting near the pianist and bribed him with sheet music. The kids only had a song sheet with the words, but for difficult child 3, the manuscript was wonderful. He really tried his hardest, to earn a copy for himself. He was also reading it over the pianist's shoulder. At one point in final rehearsals the pianist was briefly missing and difficult child 3 rushed over and played the starting note in her absence.

He was great at the rehearsals, they thought he'd be fine for the performance. But they hadn't counted on the stage lights and especially the mirror ball. It had him transfixed - a stimming alternative for him. His aide really earned her keep, pulling him up or sitting him down, his eyes glued to the mirror ball. I don't think he sang much (a pity, he's a good singer with perfect pitch) but at least he wasn't disruptive. I did hear some parents near us commenting, though - they didn't know him, this was a combined district schools concert - so I just pretended that he wasn't mine. Until later, of course! He was about 6 or 7 at the time. He could sing the words, he knew how to pronounce them, but he still had poor language back then.

difficult child 1 used to fidget lots more when he was really anxious. It was really bad and there was nothing we could do about it - he just needed to be reassured and to feel safe. Performances - not on. Not an option at all. You couldn't even sing "Happy Birthday" to him without him running away and hiding, or curling up in a ball on the floor.

Isn't it fun, being a Warrior Mum?


hearts and roses

Mind Reader
Aw, my difficult child was (IS) the shortest kid in her grade and was always right up front...perfect for viewing her many tics such as nose scrunching, scratching, picking, imaginary lint picking, lip biting, eye blinking...but no singing!! Haha, she'd mouth the words occasionally, but most of the time she was in her own little world. So many obnoxious parents would come up to me after the concert and ask me why difficult child doesn't sing along with the others? It took everything I had to grab difficult child and take her to the obligatory Friendly's ice cream after every concert without first punching someone. Haha - I can laugh now, it's all behind us. Incidentally, she always singing out loud at home!

It's wonderful that the concert was great and your difficult child enjoyed it! Proud mama.


Well-Known Member
I wish they'd put Lucas in the back He was right in the center in the front row, a difficult child mother's nightmare. He's 5'2" and almost 14, so he's not too tall. I think he'd feel better hiding behind somebody, but it never happens!
Honestly, I almost jumped out of my skin just watching him. And he always watches us to make sure we are looking at him so there is no


Active Member
I always say, thank goodness for stage lights and dark auditoriums. A school hall is where the kids can watch the audience; but with strong lights in their eyes and the lights off behind, they can't see beyond the first few rows.