The second 36


Long road but the path ahead holds hope.
we just came back from dropping our son off at his long term in patient rehab program. This last 36 hour was excellent not a hitch to his goals and behaviour.

He had a very rough week and this is the second week life had be n tough in the rehab program.

There have been a number of new admissions and some are CAS cases. They have been extremely disruptive and violent outbursts have lead to many sleepless nights for all and the police being on site several times a day. The challenge with the CAS cases is that there is literally no where else for them to go. There are out on bond and there are not enough spaces in youth open custody homes for them. So the rehab is stuck waiting until something opens up to return them back to an open custody facility. 4 ran away stoke cars, bought drugs and would up bear macing each other.
E was very supportive and helpful and was advanced to the next phase of his program with great admiration for his contributions to help in the unsettled times.

E had been approved for a few offsite outings and gave up these privledges to allow others to attend due to limited numbers allowed. For that he was promised he would be going to the movies last Thursday. He called me Thursday evening and was in tears. He was not on the list for the movies and when he asked why the counsellor on shift said flatly “because your not on”. She did noting to explain hisbor support the clear shock upset and disappointment E experienced. He was truly so heart broken. He felt he was being punished and he had been progressing in his program and support others in time of crisis. I know it doesn’t sound like much but these privileges are important and hold high value to the residents. This is not the first run in we have had with this counsellor, she is not my favourite person to say the least.

When we arrived to the program on Saturday the front window had been smashed out and the police were on site. You could feel the tension and chaos in the air. It is very hard to leave your AC in such an environment. Indeed there have be n drugs smuggled onto the site and he had resisted all and has not relapsed. When we left Saturday I informed the staff that I wasn’t sure Evan would be coming back. The environment should be doing more to protect him than entice him to do Drug’s and he should be getting more out of the program than he is contributing. At this point in time I do not see the balance.

I did not make a decision in haste and we spent a lot of time discussing fairness vs rightness. We told E the decision was in his hands to decide if he wanted to continue in the program or not. We had a long of discussion over the weekend and ultimately he decided to retune and stay to completion of his program. I must admit it’s going to be a rough week and I do hope things settle down. He had back to back 36 hour leaves as we were scheduling around other commitments in our schedule. He is not due for another leave for 2 weeks.


Well-Known Member
This is a good report LBL. E sounds like he is maturing and gaining a sense of worth in contributing in positive ways to help difficult situations. It seems he has a sense of community with the program, is making sacrifices (of his own privileges) to give to others and feels a part of something he can participate in and give value. He must like himself for who he is and can be in that setting. Otherwise when given the choice to go back, he would not have.

I wouldn’t worry too much about the “witchy” counselor. Perhaps you can share with E to "shake it off". This too is a learning experience for him that some folks just are nasty and abrupt, but we all must deal with them in life in many different settings. (We don’t know what they are going through either.) We just need to continue putting our best efforts forth, for ourselves and our situations.

Thanks for sharing this encouraging update.


Long road but the path ahead holds hope.
Thanks Kala that is exactly the conversation we had! Security nd is I have had a discussion with his counsellor and she agrees thisbtine the situation needs to taken up with upper management. The focus is to correct this behaviour of the one staff person for future benefit.


Well-Known Member
Delighted to hear that E is once again taking many positive steps forward. I am so happy for you LBL. Our lives went off the rails at almost exactly the same time last year and I remember so well how difficult this journey was for you, especially in the beginning.

I am overjoyed that things are so much better now for you and yours.

Keep going to Nar-Anon, my experience with addiction via my brother is that relapses often come out of the blue, so vigilance is needed, but that's no reason not to celebrate!