This is all I can write for now...

[klmno]

Geez- try to just handle things one step at a time. The first step was knowing he's safe for now. I'm sooo glad he did call someone and that his dad can help try to keep him safe, at least for a short while. He definietly doesn't sound stable. Can his father get him in a psychiatric hospital there? Even if they transport him back to a psychiatric hospital where you are?

 

[meowbunny]

I'm glad he's okay and at least in contact with an adult who will try to protect him even if he refuses to sleep in the apt.

Isn't returning him to the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) the first option? I know it was with my daughter -- that or juvie for running. I hope you can find some viable answers quickly.

HUGS

 

[seekinghope]

I guess I leave out some details as not to make the post so long.

He went into the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) voluntarily; straight from the phos.
His court date has not come-up yet, so for now there is no mandate, but he still might wind-up going to "juvy" since he did not go to the rehab.
I had put a PINS on him on a FRI. about 5 weeks ago but he never made it to Mon. to speak with the PINS person. We had to put him into the phos on that Sun.
He was so out of control, it begins with the pacing and pacing, then the repetition of conversation, rolling on the floor crying, swearing, punching objects, threatening, and he has tried to hurt himself once before in Jan. I think the the combo. of legal drugs he was on, mixed with the marijuana, which in itself is a "depression type" drug was part of the current problem. That is why when he went into the phos. this time they took him off everything. I was afraid if we did not get him restrained someone would get hurt. I am sure others on this board know what I mean; you can see what's coming. He reacts on impulse. I have mentioned this before, he seems to be in that fight or flight mode. If you have experienced it you will know what I mean. I know it will become violent, I have that gut instinct.

Yes the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) said they would take him back. They really could not press any charges as they have a hands- off policy. If the kids leave they are reported and it becomes a police matter. But my difficult child was not mandated there, yet!

So now I have to call on Sun and leave a message on the PINS answering machine. I know he will not be happy and I told his father that he will have to transport him up here when I get a court date.

Truth is I don't think he'll last long there. His dad can't parent him, he can't even get him to come upstairs to sleep. How is he going to keep him away from gangs and drugs. He'll never take him to counseling. So I don't know what will happen???

I still can't understand how this all happened and no one else on the medical side seems to know either. 9 months ago I had a pretty good kid, doing great in school etc.

Out of the past 9 months my son intermittently has been locked-up for about 5. I have tried a phos 3 weeks a rehab for 10 weeks, back to the phos for over 5 weeks and he has only gotten worse!

I am at a loss.......

 

[klmno]

Obviously, I can't diagnosis so this is just my layman's 2 cents worth opinion- he sounds bipolar to me and although I know the psychiatric hospital sometimes need to do a medication wash (I think it could benefit my son sometimes, too) they can't possibly expect that the kid is going to improve the first few days after removing all medications- If it were me, but lord knows I could be wrong because I sure don't have the answer for my difficult child- I would get him back into a psychiatric hospital asap and explain just what you said here. The father could take him to an er couldn't he?

 

[TerryJ2]

Whew! I'm glad he's safe.

I agree ... I'd work on a good diagnosis. Kids don't just change personalities overnight.

{{hugs}} for ALL of you! (by the way, I know your ex is not your fave person, and he fights with-your son, but the fact that he spent $500 on the cab and detective, and made sure your son was safe in the car after he had tried to get him into bed, indicates that he's still trying to be a decent dad. I'd give him a few points for that.)

 

[seekinghope]

Sorry, did not mean to give the impression that my ex and I don't get along we do. He still calls my mom, mom, and when he comes to visit he stays with my mother and brother so the kids can get to see more of him. She lives about 10 minutes from me in the house my son was born in. We were married a long time before we divorced. We stayed together for four years after my difficult child was born for the boys sake; even though we lived apart. I did not date and neither did he. Then my mom moved in with me after difficult child was born just to have some kind of intact family.

It's geography mainly that keeps him from visiting more frequently. He lives an 8 hour drive away, with Sun. and Tues off, so it makes it difficult to travel. He comes about 4 times a year on his vacations and spoils the boys. He's the fun parent and I don't mind that. That has been his relationships with them.

I just want to know- What is the right thing to do???
Everything I thought a parent should be doing, I did, and it just has made matters worse.

 

[TerryJ2]

Sometimes you do all you can and it still goes bad.
Kids do have their own personalities.

What do the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) people say?

What did the psychiatric hospital say? Did they give him a diagnosis and medications?

 

[Steely]

Sending you much strength and hope. These kids just tear our hearts out. I know exactly how you feel. However, you cannot blame yourself for anything. These chemical imbalances just sometimes happen, for a variety of reasons. I was one of the kids like your son that was the perfect child, and then everything in me exploded. I became suicidally depressed, angry, and ended up in a Residential Treatment Center (RTC) myself. I eventually came out of it, only to have my own difficult child. It is all just so hard, and sad - and makes our mommy bear side come out tenfold. However, we have to learn tough love, and be strong - for them - and have hope. It will all get better.

 

[TerryJ2]

Any news today?

 

[seekinghope]

Talk to me ex yesterday. Said "they are doing O.K.

I have decided to try and keep a positive attitude. Will take it one-day-at-a-time.

One of the things my son said about hating the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) was going over and over what they did wrong, day after day. It was always so neg.

Perhaps some kids get better that way, but it did not work for my difficult child, it only made matters worse.

One concern, I know he needs to be on some medication. We tried resperadol, zoloft and hydroxazine. No real help there. And, it takes so long to see if it works or not. So don't know what to do there.

The Dr.'s disagree about his medications. The phos really hated the resperadol. They said " this drug has not been tested long enough on adolescence brains for them to be comfortable to use it, period"

I called the PINS officer and left a message, about him not coming home.

Does anyone know how long between incident and the court date?

Again, I cannot thank everyone enough for their support. You have all been a great!

I am also going to read through the achieves on the teen and drug site to see if there is useful info. that relates to me there.