My husband and I rewrote our will today. It has been signed and notarized, but I'm still not satisfied with what we did regarding my 45 year old difficult daughter. We are a second marriage. He has two children and I have two. They're all functioning on their own except my daughter. We have helped her much, much more than any of the others. We gave her a car probably worth about $4,000. Since then we have given lots of money, physically rescued and moved her several times. She took the girls and went to Colorado. I gave her close to $900 in the month of September, the month she went to Colorado. Then came the request to sign for apt. And I said no and that was it. No more communication on her end. She goes through money. I honesty don't know what she does with it. Often supports a deadbeat boyfriend. My two granddaughters have had Christmases with no presents. If she's speaking tome, I usually provide Christmas and birthdays. A year ago she told me she needed transportation. She couldn't go to work, needed a vehicle. By the way, she works sporadically gets upset with someone at the job and quits. She's has a college degree I told her no and she called me, blamed everything on me. The usual manipulation.... Famiy helps family, etc. She stopped talking tyo me again. This went on for several months. In the meantime I'm working the steps of CODA I send her an amends letter. I got a text she accepted my amends and I could come see the girls. Eventually i ended up "selling" her my car. (Another one) Time was about 6 years between the two cars. I didn't want to give it to her. I made that clear. No problem abusive\deadbeat boyfriend was gone, she was going to get a full-time job, would pay me every month. I PD for 2 months insurance. She owes me around $5,000. That's a lot of story, but now it's time to do our will. I left her out and gave her portion to be divided between the two girls for use for an education or if not when they turn 23. I was going to give her my diamond engagement ring, but insteasd gave it to my son. I'm concerned that she would just blow the money on I don't knowwhat....marijuana, wine, abusive boyfriend (she's back with him again). It's not a lot of money. We're hoping to spend it having fun. If I did leave her portion to her, she would need to have the amount of the loan taken out and given to the other three. BUT, I don't like this. I'm not doing it to get back at her. I just would love for the money to go for a good purpose. Is that controlling from the grave? I don't like anything about this. I don't want problems between her and her brother. They don't speak now. I hate this! Any advice.