Tigger suspended again... :(

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by JJJ, Nov 3, 2010.

  1. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Tigger sat down with a group of boys at lunch. A few of the boys immediately got up and moved :( Once at recess, Tigger knocked one of the boys down and then walked over to the edge of the field and sat down, after the kids went in from recess he walked around the building a few times with an aide and then came back into the room. He refused to process what happened with staff. (I also found out that he refuses to discuss friendships/peer conflict with the school pysh).

    He is calm so he gets to take the bus home but since the other child was hurt, Tigger is going to spend one day in the CIBS room. The teacher is so great, she told me to stay calm, that they will find a way to reach him about 'friendship skills'.

    I just want him to be able to make friends :( I'm just so sad for him...I have got to pull it together before he gets here any minute :(
  2. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Sounds like she needs to talk to some of the other boys about friendship skills, too.
  3. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Sadly, those were kids from the regular ed classroom. We are caught in a vicious circle. As much as it hurts to admit it, it is hard to be Tigger's friend.

    He was calm when he got home but refused to tallk about what happened. VERY HUGGY...I know his feelings were hurt :(
  4. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    My daughter has the same problem. Her school counselor has her do this thing at lunch on Fridays with up to 3 kids she knows to improve her social skills. Kiddo gives them invites (seems one kid panicked on the first go and her parents called the school thinking she was in trouble) so the kid and their parent knows it's an invitation thing, then kiddo, her invitees that accept, and the counselor have lunch together.
  5. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    I agree with HaoZi, the other kids could use some social skills classes too. Most kids could use them whether difficult child's or easy child's .... poor tigger :sad-very:
  6. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    That vicious circle was a contributing factor in my son's difficulties at that age, too. I agree that the other boys need talking to by sd personnel, too. Suspending Tigger for something like this probably won't resolve a single thing, help him learn anything beneficial (better skills) and only get more excuse to mainstream kids to stay away from him. Although I understand they can't play favorites at school and we all know that sd people think consistency in punishment will "cure" any kids' problems.

    I feel for him- it's a diificult age for a typical kid but our difficult children really seem to get the brunt of it and are working with less skills to be able to talk about it, handle it, or anything else.
  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hugs to both you and Tigger. Very much reminds me of my difficult child and his friendship problems.
  8. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Ugh! It's so hard!

    My difficult child, too, used to do social groups with the school counselor.....but the skills never seemed to transfer to the real world.

    Does Tigger have any buddies to sit with at lunch at all?
  9. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Wee is a difficult friend, too. It just breaks your heart. Hugs for you and Tigger.
  10. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    difficult child 2 had similar issues at the same age (and younger). The social skills classes he took at school and the school mentor program helped him a lot. And then when he had the opportunity to move to a different middle school than the one his peers would be attending, we jumped on that and it's turned out to be a great help as well. Gave him a fresh start with new kids who had no bias or prejudice. He still has trouble being accepted by kids because he still has some social awkwardness, but he continues to work on that in his current social skills class at school, and it gets better as he gets older and matures, and his peers mature and learn to be more tolerant. I have to say, though, that he is finally handling things better this year and is not as emotionally and physically reactive. Doesn't mean his feelings don't get hurt, but he's learning appropriate ways of expressing himself and better coping skills.
  11. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Knowing how similar many of our kids are, I often wonder if they would get along together or if it would just be a massive food fight situation.