Hello, This is my first post, so I'm a little nervous. I have a ds who is almost 3 (next week) and a daughter who is 1. My ds is a brilliant, funny, and (sometimes) loving little guy and my husband and I are at our wits' end when it comes to discipline. We try and try to figure out how to interact well with our ds, but fail time and again. Maybe we are too strict, but I never wanted to be one of those mothers who let their kid get away with anything. Of course my primary role is to be kind and compassionate, but sometimes there are things ds does that are just not acceptable at his age: throwing food, being sassy/rude, hitting his sister, and most of all refusing to obey even the simplest of orders. We have addressed these behaviors many times, but they continue. Here's the problem: any kind of discipline makes him just lose it. (He also often loses it for no reason at all.) I hate spanking him, even though I do it out of desperation from time to time. Just like everything else, it doesn't work. And forget time outs. Being sent to his room immediately escalates even the tiniest of confrontations to a horrible scene that is out of control. I feel like a failure as a mom. . .all I want is to have a loving--and fun-loving!--relationship with my son and provide him with good boundaries. He seems to hate boundaries, but all kids need them, don't they? I often feel backed into a corner with no options and no hope of how to improve my interactions with my ds. by the way, none of this is true for my daughter. She is sweet and cuddly and compliant and sunny and has been from day one. Which reminds me of something else about my ds: almost nothing makes him happy. He is constantly whining and complaining. He hates change of any kind, even if it's a border we're removing from the wall (what kind of kid even notices that? Mine, obviously.) After reading a lot of the threads on this forum, I'm starting to realize that we aren't the only ones with these challenges and maybe we could get some help. I'm taking ds to the pediatrician next week for his well-child exam. Any suggestions for what to say to the doctor? (Also for what to do about making timeouts work.) Thank you and sorry for the long post.