I dont mean this in a mean way or that I will ever just say anything on my mind or be rude. Kay has made me see that she has a mission, which is to spread the horrors of vaccinations and traditional medicine to the world and open the eyes to as many people as she can and that I am her victim of all the people who won't believe her. I have to believe her or I am no more in her life. It isnt enough to tell her I am fine with it. I have to believe it and I am too bad a liar to fool her if I said I did. I have a mission myself out of sheer necessity and I feel good about it. All my life I have shed tears and felt broken like a dropped glass cup any time a loved one was mean to me. Because this happened often to me I was often in fetal position wondering what I could do to fix myself for them. I have an extremely.challenging family of origin and a first husband, whom they loved, broke me into little bits and I never challenged that maybe this was them all more than me. Kay is doing this to me and even after the great meeting I am feeling in fetal position and asking what I can do to fix my ineptitude. To make her approve of me and love me. The answer is not one thing and that I should not care so much. She is acting badly on purpose and specifically targeting me and I dont need to take it. So I am on a hard journey to heal myself. Al Anon twice a week and a Family Group for parents of mentally ill children on Saturday. Therapy continuing. Forcing myself to be with people and doing things. And I dont feel like going out when I am broken. But it helps me once I do it. Books on codendency will be aplenty. Some I have read before. Sounds like a lot, I know, but I need this much help to get well. It will be my Recovery and take up a lot of time. I will be relentless in recovering though. I am tired of being in fetal position even over Kay, my daughter. I am starting the heavy lifting today. If you want to see what triggered this, read my last post. I cant live this way anymore. In fetal position. I want to walk tall like a soldier and learn that sometimes our loved ones are abusive and that we need not take that even from a child.