RE posted this, below, on Friday and I just saw it today. I knew it would stick with me all day. It has and it is.... I can look back and see how my angers and judgements, my own resentments and hurts, although justified, prevented me from seeing the whole picture of my daughter. And, I had to look at my own judgements about people who look a certain way, or live a certain way.........realizing that underneath those perceptions I had, are people with stories, people who are down and out for whatever reason, people with talents and fears, hurts and feelings, like me. My daughter doesn't have that judgement. When I look back in time, I realize she never did, she is able to walk in these circles comfortably offering help without judgement or attachment. This is not an either or thing, she has made monumental mistakes with her own family, with me, she's hurt others, but that is not ALL she is..... RE -- I have thought about this ever since I read it. Reminded of the day our difficult child got our of rehab (10/1/14) and we took him for a haircut. husband and I took a little walk and found difficult child out of his haircut early -- talking with 3 people. They were all homeless and all known from his drug world. I did not want to go near (not because of their homelessness, but because of their drug connection). But husband and I did. I watched difficult child hug them all. He was freshly showered and they probably hadn't in weeks. He was freshly fed, and they may not have been in days. They were missing teeth and utterly drunk. But I marveled at difficult child's compassion and he moved me. He impressed me. He inspired me. He convicted me in my own judgments. I reached my hand out to shake theirs and extend dignity. difficult child had MRSA (still has) now. I found myself wondering if any of the other 3 had MRSA...or some other communicable disease. This woman missing so many teeth was so sad and she held onto my hand at length. I thought....."Who do I want to be?" I want to be on the higher path ALWAYS (knowing I am not). I reached my other hand back onto hers and held it. She asked for $600 (no kidding). I said no. But I held her hand, still. She talked on and on and I kept looking at her dirty, ragged hand, thinking........ "There but for the grace of God go I." Maybe not. But maybe. We may all just be one event away from being homeless. The thing is.......... I did NOT s-l-o-w down long enough or deeply enough to SEE these 3 people until difficult child did. I felt moved by just holding her hand. Yet difficult child embraced her fully in his arms and smiled and held her without reservation. difficult child is 24. This woman was 45-ish? I am 53. At that moment, it was difficult child who showed us all the higher path. Dammit........ It really hurts my heart that he has so much beauty inside him when he's reachable. He's just so rarely reachable. I love that "reachable" young man so much. But I just cannot bear to be around that "UNreachable" young man who hurts us all so much for so many years. I fully believe, that who difficult child is, and who we all are (deep down), is our highest self. It's just that our lowest selves are so, well......you know...."unembraceable". Now I cannot shake this image from my mind. There is no doubt difficult child teaches me. We all know how our difficult child's teach us what NOT to do. But I think I often forget how they teach us, also, what TO do. RE -- Thank you for posting your perceptions on this. Let me not forget that to every YIN there is always a YANG to see, embrace, and be grateful for.