Took a Big Risk

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by buddy, Jun 15, 2012.

  1. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Well at 8:45 tonight I let q go outside even though he clearly has not done 6 days in a row with no aggression. He never will. I knew that but was using the time to see if medications would kick in etc. So the kids all yelled hi to him. Asked where he was etc. He didn't get overstimulated. Understood I was staying out too and just walked back and forth on the courtyard. I said at 915 are you ready to go in and he said yea. Sat on the couch and I gave a high five. I asked if I could give him a kiss or hug and he said no so I said well I am really proud of you and he gave ME a hug. Now he will want to go out daily and I cant handle the stress. He wants to go to the pool and I am dreading it. 1,5 months left. Of course he is going to have a cow when he realizes we r really going.

    He went to therapeutic horseback riding and he behaved beautifully. But just like his new activity group he discussed a bunch of fears. He has been riding a year now and yet ...all of a sudden. He said he was afraid to ask me but could he take a break from riding ...afraid because he thought I'd cancel it. Now his sessions are not about riding skill. It is about impulse control, following directions, being appropriate, etc. So I said of course. Would you like to do other things there like ....and he said ...feeding, watering, brushing and walking them. He also has played games to train the horses to handle unexpected things Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids do like throw balls by them ...or running etc. He asked if everyone would think he was stupid if he did that. I said they'd be proud of him. He said he just keeps thinking he has to choose between death or not riding ...pretty stressful choice because he wants to see the people there so much. I reminded him no one in 30 years of v 's teaching has died...these are special horses and there are so many volunteers, they wear helmets ..on and on ....

    Poor guy. Then asked if future field trips with the new group will be on the ground. The height fear is new too. Says it is since getting dizzy at the mall on the escalator. Sounded like a seizure but may be the new medication because I notice his balance even going up 2steps is bad.

    Anyway just sharing. We took the less expensive house that I first chose but he is not on board quite yet. Hoping I can ease him into it.
    My biggest prayer after thanks for our finding the place and for all of the support from you guys. Im posting from my phone. The computer is acting up so I apologize for not being able to reply as much.

    Love to you all ...
  2. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    Hugs buddy. XXOO
  3. keista

    keista New Member

    What brought this on? Poor kid. Heights too? Maybe since school is out he's just looking for new anxieties to fixate on? You know, instead of relaxing because the stress of school is gone, he's looking for replacement. Just a thought.

  4. buddy

    buddy New Member

    He certainly does obsess over lots of things when general anxiety increases ....this time it is connected to things but maybe it IS similar. (Remember when he was saying he had all those worries when the school stuff was going on... death, hell, bad guys, etc. ) Hmmmmmm
  5. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Or anxiety over the move...
    We're always double-guessing, aren't we!
  6. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Sometimes what WE consider great and helpful can get to be a bit much for our kids. I'm proud of him for telling you what was bothering him. As for the heights thing, that fear could be very real. If he had a "dizzy spell" on an escalator that he loves and still seems to have "balance issues" that you've noticed, I would not dismiss it as anything but that. Until that feeling goes away, the fear will remain. difficult child 2 has a terrible fear of heights ever since he went through a long period of sudden, unexplained dizzy spells. Now that those have stopped, it will take a while to "undo" the fear it ingrained in his mind.
  7. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Horses can be scary. They are big and powerful. I'm scared of them.

    I'm glad he was able to tell you he was scared and talk to you about his worries. Good luck tomorrow night. Glad he came in o.k. tonight. At the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) difficult child 1 had to have one day of good behavior to go on trips. Maybe that would be a more realistic expectation? I don't know Q well enough to know or not. Maybe a "we'll only try this once a week and its dependent on good behavior".

    Glad it went well tonight.
  8. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    My beautiful 10 year old grandson is riddled with anxiety. When we went on vacation a couple of years ago, the elevator got stuck between floors for about 5 minutes. He has not been on an elevator since. He also will not stay the night away from his parents because the first tie he did his father was taken by ems to hospital for a severe allergic reaction. It is very frustating for the entire family and even more so for him.

    Therapy has not helped much. So if you come across something that works, please share.
  9. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Oh I agree ...his fears feel real and what I love is that he problem solved. Gives him a chance to see I'm on his side. I've heard families of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) kids say that their kids finally started to get won't ever quit and will never leave after scary things like bad accidents where they need lots of care ....the few times q has really needed me have indeed helped so my brain always goes to how can I let him see Ive got his back. When he is in crisis mode he resists me ...can't see how I'm supporting him but he said what I always say .....we are team W. Too bad it takes stuff like this (and I don't wish it on him of course) ...but justlike the few times he has been really sick I don't mind the opportunity to nurture him. Probably sounds weird if you've not lived with a kid who has attachment challenges .....oh well.
  10. Rabbit

    Rabbit Member

    Sending Hugs! Rabbit:bunny_ears: