Trying to keep head above water

[ColleenB]

so oldest son is still depressed, not working and hard to talk to. He sleeps most of the day, and is defensive when we ask him about it.

Younger son has had three job interviews, and should be working soon.

I was in younger sons room today and noticed two pill bottles... They were prescriptions, one for antidepressants and one for sleeping pills. I was shocked. I asked him and he says he was depressed and not sleeping right this winter so he went to campus counselling and the doctor on campus. He said he isn't on either one anymore and thinks he may have seasonal affective disorder .

First of all, I do have SAD, and have had a particularly hard winter due to older son and his addiction/anxiety/depression. I am not surprised younger son has had some issues, but I honestly didn't see anything at all.

I feel like a bad mother that he was struggling and I never knew. It does explain why he dropped two courses and didn't do very well this term.

He seems ok now and assured me he is.

Scary how I was living under same roof and had no idea

Older son is stil worrying us... But what can we do at this point? He was angry tonight because he said someone from his drug days owed him 700. We said that is what happenes in that business... Not much you can do.

He still doesn't get it. He hasn't really applied for jobs that we can see and basically looks horrible and run down.

Ironically younger son went and got a haircut as his interview today told him to before the next interview with the manager. He listened to him, but when we said it last week, he wouldn't. Of course we don't kNow anything

So so tired and just tying to keep my head above water....

On a good note, husband and I went to see James Taylor last night and he was amazing!!!!

 

[InsaneCdn]

so oldest son is still depressed, not working and hard to talk to. He sleeps most of the day,

He is living at home?
He has no right to stay in bed all day. In fact, he has no right, really, to be IN the house all day. He needs to get his butt out the door. For starters, let's say half a day. Out by noon, not back until supper. He can:
Go for a long hike.
Sit on the park bench and watch the clouds go buy.
Ride the bus all over town.
Go to the library.
Visit a friend for coffee.
Get a job.
Volunteer somewhere.
Something.
Anything.

Because, frankly, staying in bed all day feeds the depression. Break the cycle.

 

[RN0441]

Colleen:

Sorry this is still going on with your older son and I know you probably don't want to do this but this isn't going to fix itself. If I were you I'd get hubby and sit down with him and start giving him ultimatums. He isn't going to pull out of this thing - whatever it may be.

I know it's hard to do this but I think that you are just prolonging him being the way he is. Not in any way that it's up to YOU to fix it but I know you don't like living like this - been there done that. Your post was the first one I read actually when I joined this site and I have all boys so I immediately identified with you.

I'm no expert trust me. I still stress out over my son and he's now not living at home. It all just sucks. But at least my son is doing something now which is a 100% turnaround from where he was. I had to charter new waters to make this happen and it was so hard.