BusynMember
Well-Known Member
This topic came up at work today when somebody was talking about how her mother did not accept her son-in-law's child as her own child and was snitty to her because she treated this child the same as her DNA kids. I know a lot of us did not grow up with unconditional love. No reason for me to say I certainly didn't. You played your role or you were unloved. But there ARE fakmilies that help their most vulnerable, rally around them, do interventions, are always there. Did you have it? Can you love unconditonally? Who? Your kids? your spouse? Your family of origin? Your pets? Deep, I know. (KIdding).
My answers: Yes, I can and do love my kids unconditionally. There is nothing so horrible that they could do that would make me not love them. Be sick that they did certain things, be heartbroken if they left, but I'd still love them and do. Spouse? Already divorced once.We did part on good terms, but I left him, not the other way around. This hubby is a keeper...would I love him still if he hit me? Hard question. He'd never do it, but what if he did. Would that put a crack in my love? Family of origin? Mother? Father? Siblings? I loved them all, except for my father who I still love, far beyond how long I should have and it hurt me. Since it took me so long to really feel so dead inside that I can't say I love them in a family way anymore, I'd have to say, no. They did not love unconditionally and I can't love them unconditionally.
Which brings up, is it good to love unconditionally? I have no answer, but my gut (which is just a feeling) wishing I had been loved unconditionally and think it's a good thing to overlook stuff unless it is dangerous to your life. And there is no up side.
By the way, I love my animals uncondtionally and a lot more than I love some people. Some people may think that's shocking and wrong, but my beilefs are that animals are equal to humans. Dogs in particular certainly have sweet souls.
Any thoughts? Anyone care? LOL. We did have a nice discussion about this at work this lunchtime, sitting outside, sharing examples of conditional and unconditional love. Was very interesting. I love my co-workers. Unconditonally? Hmmmmmmmmmmm...
I didn't know if anyone was interested, but thought I'd find out. Can't hurt.
My answers: Yes, I can and do love my kids unconditionally. There is nothing so horrible that they could do that would make me not love them. Be sick that they did certain things, be heartbroken if they left, but I'd still love them and do. Spouse? Already divorced once.We did part on good terms, but I left him, not the other way around. This hubby is a keeper...would I love him still if he hit me? Hard question. He'd never do it, but what if he did. Would that put a crack in my love? Family of origin? Mother? Father? Siblings? I loved them all, except for my father who I still love, far beyond how long I should have and it hurt me. Since it took me so long to really feel so dead inside that I can't say I love them in a family way anymore, I'd have to say, no. They did not love unconditionally and I can't love them unconditionally.
Which brings up, is it good to love unconditionally? I have no answer, but my gut (which is just a feeling) wishing I had been loved unconditionally and think it's a good thing to overlook stuff unless it is dangerous to your life. And there is no up side.
By the way, I love my animals uncondtionally and a lot more than I love some people. Some people may think that's shocking and wrong, but my beilefs are that animals are equal to humans. Dogs in particular certainly have sweet souls.
Any thoughts? Anyone care? LOL. We did have a nice discussion about this at work this lunchtime, sitting outside, sharing examples of conditional and unconditional love. Was very interesting. I love my co-workers. Unconditonally? Hmmmmmmmmmmm...
I didn't know if anyone was interested, but thought I'd find out. Can't hurt.
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