Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Hound dog, Apr 29, 2011.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Nichole's reception is next sat. I think I mentioned that 1. Nichole did not want M there period and 2. I was not driving Katie's family. (might have left 2 off......can't remember)

    Normally driving them isn't an issue as it's one of us and all of them. So they sort of fit if they squish right. But for the wedding reception......it's not only going to be husband and I, but Travis as well. There is no way we're going to fit 4 more people in the car. M has to work glory be! And I'm not squishing anyone as we're going to be dressed up it's a WEDDING reception. ugh

    So I asked her tonight if M could watch the kids. Nichole has asked katie twice and received no answer. This is how I know he has to work. Well, that means the kids would have to go. Which is bad as far as transportation.........and also not so great as in truth it's going to be boring as all get out for children and it's set to last until 11pm. Everyone already knows Nana and Papa are Aubrey's safety valve, soon as she starts getting tired we wisk her away to our house to sleep on the couch in her piglet sleeping bag.

    We could do two trips. But honestly? I don't want to. Katie's kids are doing much better, but I'd rather not test it in a wedding setting. easy child has a sitter for her boys. Aubrey is only going because all her sitters will be there. It's in no way a kid's setting. It's a fairly expensive restaurant and there will be an open bar.

    I told Katie since we're transporting Travis.....there is no way we can fit them. I asked her if she could take the cab. Now in other places, cabs are expensive. Here? No. Five bucks will take you anywhere (literally) in town. She writes back that the cab cuts off at 5pm. Uh, no. Maybe on a weekday but not on a sat. All the drunks use them, big money night, they'd be stupid to do that. And I know Travis has used them more than once. Service is until 11pm on sat if I remember right.

    Now, c'mon. The girl is not broke. She can afford 10 bucks for her own transportation. If she can't, and the cab doesn't run.........Then I suppose she can miss it.

    I'd like her to go, but dang it to heck, I don't want to wrestle 3 kids when I'm dressed to the nines........I'm uncomfortable enough TVM. I know soon as she finds out easy child has a sitter she's going to ask why Travis can't ride with her and sister in law......Except it's an open bar. easy child has already said she may make use of it since she does have a sitter, sister in law might as well. We've already agreed to handle Aubrey. So? Who would get stuck taking katie and her kids home when they fall apart due to being tired or boredome? Us.


    Gas is 4.15 a gallon. And I'm betting she's wondering why I'm not saying we'll just take two cars. But omg gas is 4.15 a gallon!! No.

    My youngest child is going to be celebrating her marriage. I don't want to have to worry about katie and her kids that night. I want to attempt to enjoy it myself. And heck, I may make use of that open bar. lol

    10 bucks for a cab or stay home. Katie says M is working 6 days a week for the next month. (I'm finding that more than a bit hard to believe) If he was able to watch the kids, I'd just take her with us and drop her off on our way home no sweat.

    Am I being unreasonable? Asking because it seems I've ticked the girl off.
  2. Jena

    Jena New Member

    i don't know if you want advice from crazy me...... lol yet i do not think your being unreasonable at all. its your daughter's wedding. you have every right to dress nicely, travel with one car and not two and enjoy yourselves. you aren't on duty or pick up or drop off cab service. i mean come on.......

    it's her day yet in a way between us mom's it's kinda your day too!! ya know what i mean :)
  3. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    No, not unreasonable. I think she's the one being unreasonable, actually. She can figure this out if she wants to badly enough. You don't have room, and you probably don't even have time to deal with it pre-wedding. But I know how difficult children can be, pushing those guilt buttons in us ... especially when ::gasp:: we're doing something for ourselves that will bring US joy.
  4. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    There's no one but M who can watch her kids? I know (boy do I know!) how hard it can be to find a sitter, especially on short notice, but is it possible?
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    HaoZi Katie is, except with family, basically fairly antisocial. If she manages to befriend a neighbor, I'll be stunned. Happy, but still stunned. She made one good friend in grade school.......and it's the only friend she has that I'm aware of.

    So no, there is simply no one else to watch the kids. It's not really been short notice either. The wedding has been planned for a couple of months. She just assumed we'd be taking them. In the beginning before Nichole decided to do it at the courthouse for now and do the big deal one later.........I'd bitten the bullet because Nichole had asked her to be a bride's maid. Would be sort of tacky not to make sure she got there under those circumstances, plus that would have been quite far out of town. Taxi would not have taken her.

    The fairly upscale restaurant is located in/next to the bowling alley. (no clue why but it is) She assumed strangely enough......it was IN the bowling alley, plenty for the kids to do. Now who has a reception in a bowling alley itself?? lol The bowling alley isn't even open to the public on sat nights, it's league night.

    Nichole's bff and her husband have managed to arrange a ride. (they don't own a car either)

    I really see no way to make transporting them work unless we use both cars........which neither husband or I want to do. Parking is going to be an issue as well as it is. ugh

    And while I love those kids, no one but me (and I don't do it unless I have no choice) would volunteer to watch them. When they're good, they're really good.......but when the gfgdom kicks in they take a very experienced warrior mom's parenting skills to keep them under control. So I couldn't even hope to get someone outside the family to do it.
  6. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    I don't think it is your responsibility to take her and the kids. But, to play devil's advocate, knowing her insecurity issues could it be that she is just terrified of showing up alone?
  7. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Let her take a cab, it's not expensive. If she wants to be there, she will be. It's not Nana's responsibility to figure it all out and arrange everything and watch and take care of the kids. Enjoy the wedding HD!
  8. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    When my friend W's son got married? Onyxx was at a friends, and we shipped Jett off elsewhere.

    There WERE kids at the wedding - and reception - but not many. It's Katie's problem!
  9. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    When my step sister got married in Richmond, I lived in Greensboro NC. I was asked not to bring my kids. I had to get myself all the way from one state to another. Now my Dad did pay for a motel for me when I got there but he didnt provide my transportation and he certainly didnt provide my childcare. That was my issue. They stayed home with Tony. If I remember correctly, Tony had to take a day off from work because it took me a day longer than we planned. Oh well.
  10. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Thanks guys. That makes me feel so much better.

    Odds are if M explained to his boss why he needed the day.....boss would give it to him no problem.

    At the big ta do wedding? The "reception" will be completely informal. Your basic large family cookout where all the grands will be able to run and play ect.

    I'd like her to be there and I know Nichole would too. But this time, she's going to have to come up with the solution.
  11. jbrain

    jbrain Member

    I say Katie is a grown woman--let her figure out a way to get there if she wants to go. You do not have to orchestrate everyone else's lives--enjoy your evening and I hope you do make use of the open bar!
  12. jbrain

    jbrain Member

    P.S. When people have children then part of the price they pay is they may miss out on things. You certainly weren't the one who suggested she have a bunch of kids! Why should you have to pay the price for that?!
  13. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Not unreasonable at all, Lisa. Katie will either figure it out or she won't.
  14. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Yep....what they said. And if she gets pee-pee about it.....hoovers to be her.

  15. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    I think this is a good lesson for her that SHE is responsible for solving her own problems and seeing to her own children. She's been so used to being totally dependent on others for everything! Apparently she was assuming that someone else (you!) would just naturally come along and take the responsibility of getting them all there and back. Just one more little taste of the "real world" that she needs so badly.

    It is her problem, not yours. I hope you thoroughly enjoy yourself and have a wonderful time at the wedding and reception! My best to the bride and groom!
  16. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Can they rent themselves a car for the day?
  17. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    No witz, they can't. He doesn't have a license. And since she couldn't stand up for herself with a new employee at the DMV........she now doesn't have one either. All she has is a state ID. Now she'd have to go through the entire testing again. And no way in hades is she using one of our cars to do so........easy child and Nichole didn't even get that, nor did she the 1st time she got her license.

    This will just have to be her problem to solve or not. She and the kids can always attend the 2nd reception party which is in no way planned to be formal. Stinks. But I can't be expected to solve all her problems. I've missed many a wedding due to the same issue.
  18. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I guess this is a good "natural consequences" learning moment for not being able to hack getting a license then. I'm glad that you are going without them. It's time for you to do the things that you want and have earned the right to do.
  19. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Interesting development. lol

    Since no one has volunteered to solve the problem for her............katie is attempting to solve it herself. She's going to see if M can switch days with someone so she can go do the spa day with us as well as the reception that evening.

    I told her I thought that would be fabulous. She needs a day of fun and spoiling..........it's long overdue. Told her I'd keep my fingers crossed something can be worked out.

    I've got an evil grin on my face. According to Katie, M is in the process of "proving himself". Guess this would be a good time to prove he appreciates all she does. :devil:
  20. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Perhaps she is starting to catch on. In the right way!