update - just checking in...


New Member
I didn't even have a chance to check my last post until just now!! Last week got pretty bad and then we had the biopsy yesterday... She did pretty well until we got into the car to go home. She cried all the way home, and then had a meltdown when we got here. Luckily, I had both of my parents with me to help her through it (not before she punched herself in the biopsy site a couple times though). She is doing well now, other than being a little sore and not wanting to stay off of her leg.

Thursday and Friday were hard. She had a meltdown on Thursday and another two hour one on Friday. I had to call over the in-laws to take the little ones for a while. They had never seen her like that before. The doctor called in a new medication to give her when she is on the verge of a meltdown. We'll see how well it works. I am going to look into some classes so that we can learn ways to restrain without hurting her. i have been showed one way, but it helps to have a couple when one way gets fatiguing. Two hours is such a long time when you are trying to hold down a fighting child.

A couple of you asked if I had some time to "get away". Luckily, I have a great family who is a source of constant support and love (both mine and my husband's family). Although i have been using them mostly for doctor's appointments lately, my parents take difficult child for the weekend occasionally. I also put my kids to bed fairly early so that I have the evening to unwind (that is a life saver!!) My husband has also been staying with the kids occasionally so that I can meet up with some of the neighborhood mothers for some childless fun. So I am trying very hard to do these things so that I don't turn into a raving maniac (although most of the time I feel like one anyway!! LOL) I have started, in the last week, walking as much as I can (to the school and such), to get some exercise and shed some of the stress-eating pounds I have accumulated. Not to mention the occasional stress-relieving class of wine... :smile:

Anyway, like most of you, I am keeping my head just above water most of the time, but I am not drowning yet (nor do I plan to anytime soon!!!) :warrior:


Well-Known Member
I'm sorry to hear that the struggles with difficult child are continuing. But I was relieved to read that you are still holding your head above water. Thank goodness your parents are so helpful.


New Member
It's so nice you have that support, Ann. I'm sorry you're still struggling so much, but glad you posted an update.

Keep hanging in there the best you can, lady. Sending positive thoughts and gentle hugs.



Mom? What's a difficult child?
Yes 2 hours is too long...I thought an hour was a bit much!!! It is hard to hold them and not lose grip or get sweaty and if they spit and it is always just a mess... and in your case you really don't want to hurt her, ( not that I want to either) But if she is having so many issues and on top of it biopsy sites her poor little body. You need a little padded room you can go in with her... I always fantasize about having one when I am in the midst of a hold... the hold/restraining just sucks.

I hope the results are not bad news...or more bad news. Thinking some good thoughts for you and your family.


New Member
Unfortunately the padded room is not going to prevent her from biting herself or punching herself or pulling her hair out. These are all possible behaviors when people go into uncontrolable rages. Putting a restraining garment on them is difficult for one person to manage alone. My father in law has Altshiemer's he has had a couple of violent outburst where he has punched people. We have talked about the possibility of giving the residential home permission to sedate him if he gets violent. We have not had to do that yet but it might in our near future.

I wonder if a mild short term sedative will help in your daughter's case?
Her rages are not her fault and she cannot control them. As they become more frequent you won't be able to manage to restrain her just out of physical exhaustion.
I am so very sad by what you and your family is dealing with. It is so very hard to watch. (((HUGS))) -RM

Wiped Out

Well-Known Member
Staff member
I'm sorry difficult child continues to struggle-I'm so glad to here you have such a great support system in place and that you carve out some time for you!


New Member
Thank you everyone for your kind words. Her psychiatrist prescribed some Zyprexa that should melt easily in her mouth. I don't know if it will work, but we will definately give it a shot!! Fortunately, my dad is a retired dentist, and gave me some tips if she tries to bite me and how to get her to release if she is able to chomp down. The way they are packaged, I think I will be able to carry one with me at all times. that will be nice, because as most of you know, these things can happen at any time.

The last couple of days have gone really well (knock on wood). She has been really even, especially considering that she is very limited in her activities. I just hope it continues. I have really enjoyed having my little girl around. I don't know about the rest of you, but it is like my difficult child has two personalities really. There is the little girl I know and love, and there is this other girl that has been slowly taking over. She doesn't resemble my daughter at all. I think that is why when people who know her hear about her behaviors, they usually don't understand how it is possible.

We have a urology appointment tomorrow. She is continuing to have incontinence problems. I hope he has better suggestions than last time. He gave me the usual list of things that we have been trying for years (limit drinking before bed, limit caffiene, increase fiber...). If only it were so simple. They did a spinal MRI on her a while back, and I never heard any results. Maybe he will have some insight at this visit. I know it is all related since she started having daytime problems when everything started in May... My mom is going with me and I am just going to send her out of the room with my mom if he doesn't need to examine her or anything. This is a touchy subject for any girl this age, especially if she is having issues. Embarrassment may send her into a meltdown, but I hope not.


Ann, I'm sorry your difficult child continues to struggle. Just wanted you to know that my easy child is on Zyprexa melt tabs, and they are gone almost the instant we put them on her tongue. The packaging does make it easy to slip into a purse. They also work quickly to calm easy child down. I hope Zyprexa is a good addition to your difficult child toolbox.

Sending positive thoughts and gentle hugs your way.