Childofmine
one day at a time
Difficult Child was scheduled to have surgery yesterday for hemorrhoids, which have plagued him for years. He was to come back to my house to stay for a few days to recuperate. I was a bit nervous about that but of course I wanted him to be here.
Right before he was to go into surgery, the surgeon came in and said his liver function tests were abnormal to the point that they cancelled the surgery and admitted him to the hospital.
They did an ultrasound which was normal and repeated and more extensive blood work.
This morning they came in to say he has Hepatitis C.
They asked him repeatedly yesterday about any IV drug use and alcohol use. He says he has never done IV drugs and drinks a 6 pack a week. I wasn't sure about that at all as I was listening to him, and by 5 p.m. yesterday, having been there all day, I had to go home for a while. I was becoming a bit crazy.
My ex-husband I texted back and forth, and concluded that we believe him about the IV drugs. Then Difficult Child called to tell me last night that he believes it happened this summer when he got a tattoo at someone's apartment, not in a "legitimate" tattoo shop. The doctor agreed with that this morning and said it is consistent with the fact that blood work this summer was normal and now it's not.
In any event, I kept telling myself it doesn't matter how it happened, but it did, and now it is what it is.
I have spent yesterday, last night on the phone and all day today working really hard to reassure him. I am exhausted.
I feel heavy and overwhelmed by this. I am working hard to let go. Breathe in---taking in mercy. Breathe out---let go.
I can't do a thing about this. I am powerless but I am not helpless. I must let go and feel my feelings but not start running around reacting (I used to be GREAT at that!! : ) I am going to take a nap right now and later go to class. Difficult Child is coming over to watch football and we are going to make a pizza.
I'm working on living in this moment and not awfulizing the future. It's in God's hands, and not mine.
Just wanted to share with you all. It's always something, isn't it? Warm hugs this afternoon to all of us great Warrior Moms on this forum and on this site.
Right before he was to go into surgery, the surgeon came in and said his liver function tests were abnormal to the point that they cancelled the surgery and admitted him to the hospital.
They did an ultrasound which was normal and repeated and more extensive blood work.
This morning they came in to say he has Hepatitis C.
They asked him repeatedly yesterday about any IV drug use and alcohol use. He says he has never done IV drugs and drinks a 6 pack a week. I wasn't sure about that at all as I was listening to him, and by 5 p.m. yesterday, having been there all day, I had to go home for a while. I was becoming a bit crazy.
My ex-husband I texted back and forth, and concluded that we believe him about the IV drugs. Then Difficult Child called to tell me last night that he believes it happened this summer when he got a tattoo at someone's apartment, not in a "legitimate" tattoo shop. The doctor agreed with that this morning and said it is consistent with the fact that blood work this summer was normal and now it's not.
In any event, I kept telling myself it doesn't matter how it happened, but it did, and now it is what it is.
I have spent yesterday, last night on the phone and all day today working really hard to reassure him. I am exhausted.
I feel heavy and overwhelmed by this. I am working hard to let go. Breathe in---taking in mercy. Breathe out---let go.
I can't do a thing about this. I am powerless but I am not helpless. I must let go and feel my feelings but not start running around reacting (I used to be GREAT at that!! : ) I am going to take a nap right now and later go to class. Difficult Child is coming over to watch football and we are going to make a pizza.
I'm working on living in this moment and not awfulizing the future. It's in God's hands, and not mine.
Just wanted to share with you all. It's always something, isn't it? Warm hugs this afternoon to all of us great Warrior Moms on this forum and on this site.