Thank you so much to all who wrote and gave me advice about my difficult child and my husband. I really appreciate all the good advice, and you helped me understand my situation. My husband has calmed down a lot today, and he has helped difficult child to fix the hole in our wall. I want to get all of us into family counseling, because I know that husband should learn how to handle our son without ultimatums and fights. I agree with your comments that husband sounds just like a difficult child, and he really needs to understand that there are better ways of dealing with a kid like difficult child. All husband keeps saying is that difficult child is old enough to understand how to listen and follow rules, and he keeps giving orders to our son. My husband does not deal with stress well at all, and he doesn't like having a teen-ager in the house. I wish that husband would read The Explosive Child, but he is not interested in any self-help books. That is why we really need to talk to a therapist, because husband may listen to someone independent telling him about difficult child. I told husband today that I was going to make an appointment with a family couselor, and he said that he would go with us. difficult child had a complete workup of tests done by a neurophycologist 6 months ago, and the doctor recommended behavior therapy for our son. difficult child was seeing a psychologist for the past year, but we stopped a few months ago when we were on vacation. difficult child has not been seeing anyone for the last 3 months, and I now understand that he needs to talk to someone. Again, thank you so much for your advice and reassuring words. You have helped me to see that I am not completely alone with the problems in my family.