V is a bit of a mess

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Ktllc, May 29, 2012.

  1. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    He had too much going on last weekend with his birthday party and sleep over and now he is paying for it...
    We invited 2 boys (mainly Partner's friends but V really wanted a party but he has no friends... so we picked those 2 friends as V knows them). Everyone came at 5pm for cake, cook out (hot dogs and marshmallows on the camp fire). Only one of the friend stayed for the sleepover.
    I had asked for him to be picked up the next morning no later than 10am in order to avoid overstimulation. Well, with church and all, husband graciously offered to not worry and pick him up when ever they were ready and done with church. Grrr... I knew it was not a good idea, but the boys were happy about it and did not want to go against anyone in front of the kids. But I did whisper to husband that we would regret it.
    And yes, we did regret it! Shortly after 10am the next morning, everything became an issue for V. No big blow up but a lot of whining, complaining, etc...
    Despite a quiet Monday, this morning V was getting upset about every little thing. Crying and protesting about water day at daycare today, crying because his teacher offered cereal for breakfast, etc...
    I try to make him talk about friends, school for him to process things and maybe offer help. I have to be careful in the way I word my questions so as not to influence him but still allowing him to answer (he cannot answer open ended questions). He told me he does not like the other kids, they don't play the same way, he'd rather play alone and he feels different than the other kids at daycare but feels the same as Mom, Dad and Partner! So basically he feels uncomfortable at school but feels just fine at home. Probably why he is such a different little guy in those 2 settings.
    I thought it was pretty insightful for a 5 year old. He might have difficulties putting things into words, but he sure feels a lot!
    Now, how long is it going to take for V to be back to a calm state? we shall see....
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Yup, recipe for disaster. It may take a day or two but he will get back on track.....or longer because this was his first "party" and sleepover?? Sending supportive {{{{HUGS}}}} your way.
  3. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Depending on how much sleep got messed up by the sleep-over... minimum of two days of very routine and extra sleep, to recover, longer if lack of sleep...
  4. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    It's good that you are aware as you are of how over-stimulation has an impact on V. This is more than half the battle... quite often I forget that J has a lower threshold of tolerance for stimulation than other kids and then... as you say, there is a cost, a price to pay.
    Yes, I agree, V verbalised his feelings about the two situations, home and school, very well. Poor chap - if only he could stay safe at home all the time...! Of course I know he must venture into the wider world but you must sometimes long to protect him from it. I wonder how he will get on in September?
    And, happy belated birthday, V. Here are some more candles for you to blow... hurrah!
  5. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    The day seemed to have went pretty good. He did not talk to any kids at daycare (per his say) but does not seem affected by it. It bothers me more than him! lol
    I try really hard not to make it an issue but I'm afraid it is a problem that will catch up to him. husband knows it is not quite normal, but he always brings it back to himself "I was the same way and I turned out fine". What do I say to that? "yes, but Honey... you kind of have lots of issues yourself... Thank Goodness I compensate for you!" HAHAHA. Not something he likes to hear.
    But it did make me smile when V stated that he was like husband and I. All of our flaws and quirks are concentrated in one child: V! :) Kind of ironic if you ask me. At least he feels good at home, feels like he belongs and I suppose that is VERY positive.
    And who knows, maybe all will be fine... Does it ever happen that Mommy's gut is way off? Can someone analyze so muh to the point of loosing his compass?
    yes, Kindergarten should really reveal if I'm way off or if V is way off.
  6. keista

    keista New Member

    YES! I did that with DD1
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Ooh, been there done that. I feel for you all.
    A cpl nights of solid sleep and he should be all right.
    You just have to live through it ...