vicious cycle

[FlowerGarden]

I noticed a lot of food charges on my credit card. I immediately asked Difficult Child what was going on because they were places he orders from and it was on the card I gave him to use at the doctor's office. He told me he is addicted to pain killers again. It's a vicious cycle with him. He does well and then runs into someone and plays right into their hand to hang out and use. Then he changes his phone number and gets rid of the old contacts and will be clean for 6 months to a year. He does see a psychiatrist and therapist. Haven't a clue what they know because he won't let me go with him. Other wise he has continued to better himself in life. Any comments or suggestions would be appreciated.

 

[InsaneCdn]

He does see a psychiatrist and therapist. Haven't a clue what they know because he won't let me go with him

You may be able to provide information TO the psychiatrist and therapist, if you know who they are. For example, you could send a letter. Warning - it could back-fire in your relationship, and not all professionals will make use of the information. My adult child's psychiatrist doesn't want to know anything that the patient doesn't know he knows... i.e. I can send a letter with my observations, as long as the patient knows what is in the letter. My adult child's therapist will let me put information into the process "anonymously". My kid knows that I do these things.

 

[FlowerGarden]

InsaneCdn,
That is very tempting to do but I'm nervous of it backfiring and him not going anymore. It took us years to find a psychiatrist and therapist he felt comfortable with. I give them the credit for getting him to open up more to us. I am not going to let him have my card to pay the psychiatrist anymore. I am going to call and see if I can give them the number to keep on hand for his visits. Maybe I can just add to the conversation that the reason why I am asking for that to be done is because I found out he is addicted again and used my card for unauthorized charges.
I'm torn because he used the card for things I did not approve which is basically stealing and is on pills again but before he relapsed, he had gotten a better job, been doing more with the family, doing a lot around the house, and has taken the time to talk to our neighbors when he sees them outside etc.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Our psychologist allows me to come by at the end of the month and pay for the appointments. It avoids adult child having access to my card at all

 

[pasajes4]

I would consider finding another way to pay the doctor. It sounds as if him having a card makes it easier for him to relapse.