Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by ML, Dec 14, 2008.

  1. ML

    ML Guest

    Sometimes manster doesn't feel like going to his dad's on the weekends. Ex and I are pretty good about accommodating his preferances but husband gets pissy when manster doesn't go. It's a tough spot because I can understand husband's need for some peace but manster's needs come first. Granted he doesn't *need* to be home. Mostly I think it's about comfort zone and transitions. There have been a few times (granted not many) when he hasn't wanted to leave his house to come here.

    Any suggestions appreciated.

  2. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    What is the visitation schedule? Is he scheduled to go every weekend? If so, maybe allowing him atleast one weekend at home (like 1st or last of the month) so that everyone (he and husband and you and his dad) all have a better handle on when he will be home.

    I can understand wanting to stay in one place for longer then five days. He may get tired of the transitioning back and forth (even easy transitions are still transitions none the less).
  3. ML

    ML Guest

    The schedule that we have agreed upon is Saturday afternoon to Sunday afternoon. Maybe the answer is every other weekend but ex said he would miss him too much. Franky ex and I are more in sync than husband and I are. Manster's dad and I pretty much agree to put manster first and I think ex would accommodate whatever we want to do. I think we just have to all come to an agreement to stick to whatever we decided and NOT let manster dictate or change it. But part of me just wants to let manster have a break and be where he wants to be. It's not his fault he's from a divorced family. Ugh.

    I supposed if I care at all about making my marriage work I need to put husband's needs in there too.
  4. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Maybe either once a month or once very two - three months. If it is scheduled, then everyone can plan. It would still provide the break Manster needs and husband will not be caught off guard?

    Manster is very blessed to have his dad so invested. Not all kids from divorced homes can say that both parents do work together in their best interest. Congratulations to both you and ex for keeping that area of Manster's life healthy.
  5. Ropefree

    Ropefree Banned

    Maybe ask dad to call Manster and talk about what they will be doing. I think
    that inviting and engaging ahead of time adds anticipation for that transition.
    Knowing that his dad is looking forward to having the week-end together may
    give him that out of his thinking process zest for the change.
  6. Jena

    Jena New Member


    I know what you mean I go thru a similar situation with mine, yet boyfriend never has a problem with kids home. I just know difficult child doens't want to go to dad's alot. I like ropes idea actually the phone call prior to talk about plans for the upcoming weekend.

    I think it's great your ex and you are on the same page though truly. Thats so important in a divorced situation. As far as husband goes and ok this is giong to sound bad, yet it is what it is. Your a package deal, and so with that being said maybe you two could hire a sitter to stay with M and the two of you could catch a slight break together?? would that work if M won't go on certain weekends.?? just a thought.