Welcome to Holland for our newer members

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Shari, Feb 8, 2008.

  1. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I just read Gin and Tonic's post in ECZ which prompted me to recall my early days here.
    I don't recall who, but someone posted this link shortly after I realized my little one was a difficult child, too. This piece touched me so much. It validated my feelings, both good and bad, and shed new light when all I could see was dark. I keep a printed copy on my wall now, and read it often.
    Old timers, I apologize for posting it again. Perhaps, tho, a newer member can find solace in these words.
  2. pepperidge

    pepperidge New Member

    Thanks for posting this. I remember a while back when I was new and I read some of the responses to it. The one I identified with most at that time was: ok I can deal with Holland, but I didn't end up in Holland, I ended up in Beirut. I felt at the time while it did a good job describing the grief that one goes through, it didn't really address the terrible turmoil and everything else that goes along with having a difficult child with severe behavioral issues, much less two of them.

    We are slowly making the transition from Beirut to Holland.
  3. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    That's a good analogy, Pepperidge! I like it. There's for sure been times we've been in Beruit! (and i don't recall that reply, but I LOVE it! (and I wasn't the original poster))

    You're right, this doesn't describe the day-to-day dealing with a difficult child, but it does help put the water-cooler discussions at work in perspective - when you have to listen to all of your co-workers complain cause their kid didn't get to play enough on the little league team or the teacher made them stay after school one night to catch up on some homework they missed when they were sick and how its such an inconvenience and you sit there and think "I just wish my kid COULD play little league and I didn't have to leave work half the time to pick him up from school cause he can't behave enough to stay there".

    Our kids aren't "normal". But they are special, and I think there are a lot of parents who go thru life not realizing all the special little things their kids do but aren't seen. Without the trials we have, the little stuff gets lost.

    How many parents of NT kids remember the first time their child hugged them? I don't recall the first time my NT kids hugged me. But I recall the first time difficult child 2 hugged me and actually acknowledged my presence. Because for the 3 years prior to that, he didn't care if I was even there - ever.
  4. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    I'm sorry...but I'm one of the few that really does not care for this analogy. I am happy that it helps others and wish it helped me more.