Hi all,
I've been reading here, but not posting much for a long while. My difficult child, now 8, is doing pretty well in lots of ways. But I'd love some advice regarding the days wen he's NOT doing so well.
He's a very intense kid with poor impulse control, and that has led to problems in school. Usually he gets in trouble for saying something inappropriate or being mildly defiant.
But when he gets stressed or excited - I mean REALLY stressed or excited - his behavior goes completely haywire.
difficult child's Sunday School class helped lead the service at the temple tonight. I could have written the script for tonight - I knew exactly how it would play out before it happened, and it did happen exactly as I'd expected: As soon as he walked in the door and into the rehearsal, he got completely crazed with excitement - jumping around, being waaay too silly, shouting. I wasn't there but apparently he was EXTREMELY disruptive (in a happy silly way). The group leader told him to stop several times, and finally removed him. husband gave him quite a talking-to, and he eventually got himself under control.
Then, during the actual service, he was fine. Appropriate, charming, etc.
You'd think I'd be happy that he pulled himself together for the service. But I knew he'd be able to do that. What really disturbs me is that he doesn't seem to be aware that his behavior was "wrong", and really truly doesn't understand why he should be embarrassed for having behaved that way. I think if I had been there I could have used threats or rewards to keep him under better control. But I'd really like for him to internalize it, and at least TRY to do it on his own.
He's doesn't have problems reading social cues as far as I can tell. In fact, I'm sure if some other child were acting like this and difficult child was the calm on, difficult child would notice it and complain about the other child. But it's like, when difficult child is in this excited state of mind, he has no self-awareness.
How would you work with your child to prevent getting into this overexcited state? How to help mitigate it when it starts to happen? And how would you talk about it with him the next day?
If you're wondering about his history: difficult child doesn't really have a mental health or ADHD diagnosis - just partial complex seizures that are totally under control and have been for a while. He sees a therapist regularly. I've read through the ADHD literature and I don't think he qualifies. (His therapist thinks maybe ADHD but difficult child is usually fairly wound up when he sees him.) I'm almost entirely certain he doesn't have bipolar. On most days he's a kid who plays with friends, builds with legos, and reads, reads, reads. He's sensitive, intense, and can get pretty ratty with his little brother.
Thanks for listening! I'm so glad to have this board as a resource.
I've been reading here, but not posting much for a long while. My difficult child, now 8, is doing pretty well in lots of ways. But I'd love some advice regarding the days wen he's NOT doing so well.
He's a very intense kid with poor impulse control, and that has led to problems in school. Usually he gets in trouble for saying something inappropriate or being mildly defiant.
But when he gets stressed or excited - I mean REALLY stressed or excited - his behavior goes completely haywire.
difficult child's Sunday School class helped lead the service at the temple tonight. I could have written the script for tonight - I knew exactly how it would play out before it happened, and it did happen exactly as I'd expected: As soon as he walked in the door and into the rehearsal, he got completely crazed with excitement - jumping around, being waaay too silly, shouting. I wasn't there but apparently he was EXTREMELY disruptive (in a happy silly way). The group leader told him to stop several times, and finally removed him. husband gave him quite a talking-to, and he eventually got himself under control.
Then, during the actual service, he was fine. Appropriate, charming, etc.
You'd think I'd be happy that he pulled himself together for the service. But I knew he'd be able to do that. What really disturbs me is that he doesn't seem to be aware that his behavior was "wrong", and really truly doesn't understand why he should be embarrassed for having behaved that way. I think if I had been there I could have used threats or rewards to keep him under better control. But I'd really like for him to internalize it, and at least TRY to do it on his own.
He's doesn't have problems reading social cues as far as I can tell. In fact, I'm sure if some other child were acting like this and difficult child was the calm on, difficult child would notice it and complain about the other child. But it's like, when difficult child is in this excited state of mind, he has no self-awareness.
How would you work with your child to prevent getting into this overexcited state? How to help mitigate it when it starts to happen? And how would you talk about it with him the next day?
If you're wondering about his history: difficult child doesn't really have a mental health or ADHD diagnosis - just partial complex seizures that are totally under control and have been for a while. He sees a therapist regularly. I've read through the ADHD literature and I don't think he qualifies. (His therapist thinks maybe ADHD but difficult child is usually fairly wound up when he sees him.) I'm almost entirely certain he doesn't have bipolar. On most days he's a kid who plays with friends, builds with legos, and reads, reads, reads. He's sensitive, intense, and can get pretty ratty with his little brother.
Thanks for listening! I'm so glad to have this board as a resource.