What now?

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by toughlovin, Apr 25, 2011.

  1. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    So my difficult child texted me tonight asking if I could meet him and his girlfriend for lunch tomorrow, they are in a bit of a predicament. Of course I said yes. Now I am very curious... is it just money they want? If so we think he would have asked my husband to lunch instead of me.... so then I wondered if she coudl be pregnant, but he hasn't been back long enough I don't think. So now I get to see how tough lovin I can be!!! I think I am not going to give them any cash period... I might consider getting them groceries or a tank of gas.... I am wondering if her mom kicked them out. I really don't know.....anyway think of me tomorrow.
  2. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    Oh geeze, try and get some sleep tonight. I truly hope it is not a pregnancy they are going to spring on you. Good Luck and I will be thinking of you tomorrow.
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Hang tough Mom. It's gonna be hard.

    I'd arm myself with local homeless shelter numbers.

    Saying a prayer it's not a pregnancy. Will be thinking of you.

  4. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    Stay strong mama!!!!
  5. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    I'll do my anti-pregnancy dance (seems to have worked so far for my difficult child!). Draw on your momma strength and we know you'll do fine. Report back when you can.
  6. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Hello again toughlovin...I too will be thinking of you during your lunch today. I suggest you remember that FEAR=False Evidence Appearing Real.

    I love Hounddogs suggestion of being armed with homeless shelter numbers. Another agency (if pregnancy involved) is Crisis Pregnancy Center. And if it's only money they want your idea of groceries or gas is perfect.

    One thing I have just begun to see regarding my young difficult child and his wife and my 2 grandchildren is that difficult child has time and time again used the grandbabies for personal gain from both husband and I as well as his wides mom and wealthy great grandma. Of course all of us meant well but you see where my young difficult child is now in his life and neither difficult child or wife are any better off for it. In fact I now believe all of our "help" has really only hindered their growth.

    Directing them towards supportive agency's from the get go may ultimately help them become more self sufficient in the long run...of course being on the same page with girlfriend"s mother might be a good idea too because the other thing our difficult child and wife have done is to use one parents "giving tree" against the other to make us feel like we're not doing our part. Truly we have only reinforced the concept of "using" to get what you want.

    Thinking of you and will look forward to update
  7. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh dear, I do hate those texts. Interesting how he wouldn't see or talk to you before but now he needs you. It's always something with our difficult child's, their life is drama filled.

    I'll be thinking about you today and anxious to hear what happened. I know you will stay strong.

  8. KFld

    KFld New Member

    I always hate those texts or phone calls. You should also go with the thought in mind that you don't have to committ or answer anything right away. Whatever the problem is you can always say, I have to think about what I can or can't do, or want to or not want to do, and get back to you later. I have gotten much better at that because it's easier then kicking yourself after you open your mouth too soon.
  9. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    How did your lunch with difficult child go?
  10. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Oh, my... I don't know that I could do lunch with my difficult child under the circumstances. Fingers crossed for everyone.