What was (or is) your difficult child's...


Well-Known Member
saving grace? I'm curious because I'm a bit surprised at how well Duckie's fine motor delay really helped out in the long run. She was quite active, a poor sleeper and really liked to get into things, but she couldn't figure out a way to open her baby gate until she was four. Same with out front and back door. Having weak hands probably saved us from a whole 'nother world of trouble. :angel:
She's also incredibly cute with a very tiny little voice (except when raging). She could probably charm a snake right out of its' skin. This helps her be forgiven when she messes up. :wink:
And third, she has a kind heart. Especially with other kids that are struggling. I'm amazed at the number of times I've seen her comfort her friends and even children she doesn't know. :bravo:

So what it is about your child that is inherently good? :thumb:

Wiped Out

Well-Known Member
Staff member
Great topic for a thread TM!

My difficult child has several saving graces. One his his sense of humor. He can be really funny. He makes me smile often. :smile:

He also is quite the charmer and very cute which has saved him a few times! He is a great conversationalist and will talk with others about anything-other adults find him charming as well.

Like Dukie he also has a very kind heart (unless he is in a mood). He will comfort others often offering his last piece of candy to someone who doesn't have any. He is extremely empathetic to others. His empathy for others often amazes me!


New Member
This is a great topic! We don't think about the good things often enough!

My oldest difficult child is a total sweetheart and verbalizes his thoughts so nicely, usually way over the top, but its still so sweet. He drew a picture for me years ago that was he and I on a hill top and it said "My mommy is my hero because she takes care of me." He still says things like this, to me, my daughter, my dad, his brothers, whomever he thinks needs to hear something nice. He'll tell his little sister "You're beautiful." I just love it.

My middle difficult child will bend over backwards to do nice things for everyone. My husband and I have a diet coke addiction and in the morning when he sees me, he says "Mommy, do you need a diet coke?" LOL He will help his sister find her shoes or me my keys. If I'm cooking, he loves to be by my side helping in any way he can. He is also a total goof ball. Always finding humor in a situation, I love it.

My youngest difficult child is a charmer. He is small and cute and his smile usually wins people over in a heartbeat. Thats why most people think I'm the mean mommy, because he is so small and so cute. He loves to be your little helper, me or husband, his teacher, whoever, he just loves to help you do things. Whether its helping me hang pictures, helping daddy find something in the garage...he just loves it.

It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy to talk about the good things. Thanks for thinking of it!


No real answers to life..
Yep, they do have good points don't they???? My son has a personal charm in that he could talk to anyone and make them feel comfortable with him---thought he would make a great psychologist, but would never last thru 4 years of college.....the other talent he has is that he can drive almost any vehicle made, car, truck, boat, motorcycle, fork lift and I bet he could have handled any kind of construction equipment if he would have been interested. Just seems to innately sense how to control vehicles....
Copper's saving grace is her warmth. She gets along with anyone. Her smile lights up a room, and she is one of those people that genuinely cares about others.

Now, Tink...she cares about Tink. But her redeeming quality is definitely her independence. At her young age, she could probably take care of herself for several days if she had to. She is curious and resourceful. She is clever and artistic. She is just better of being ALL by herself.

Great topic!


difficult child II is a sweet, loving, charasmatic 10 y/o.
accept of course when he's mad or you tell him no.
But if he were one of those "omen" kids who start fires and liked hurting small animals, I would be in a straight jacket.

difficult child I, is just easy going, a bit goofy at times. His teachers always compliment me on his manners and respectful demeneor (I wish I saw it) they basically say his lack of motivation makes them want to strangle him, but he's such a nice kid.


difficult child 2 can take apart and fix almost anything after seeing it done once. He is so good hands on.

difficult child 1 is very observant. Notices everything.



difficult child is very generous. She absolutely loves to give people things. Gifts she's made, thing's she's bought, thing's she owns...she's always giving someone something.


Well-Known Member
My difficult child is very funny. She is quick with the jokes, especially one liners from movies or commercials.

She can be very kind and loving at times. Sometimes you can tell she loves and cherishes her family.

She is great with little kids. They all LOVE her! Especially her brothers. Sometimes I think her stepmom is a bit jealous of the attention my difficult child gets from her youngest. If she is there he goes running to her for comfort at times. As soon as she walks in the door he is running to her.

Hound dog

Nana's are Beautiful
Travis never gave up on something he wanted to do. And he was one of the most loving little boys I've ever known. Travis has a talent for making you laugh. Not with jokes, just the silly things he does.

But his stand out one is his talent for music. He can pick up just about any wind instrument and play it, with or without music. And without instruction.

Nichole was gorgious from birth, dark complexion, dark hair, huge brown eyes. Adorable baby, little girl, beautiful young girl, teen, and even now. She'd bat them huge brown eyes at you as a toddler and you felt your heart go SQUISHY! She had a broken heart face that would break your heart.

But the biggest thing with Nichole has been her love of animals. I swear it was there at birth. And it's not one sided, she seems to have a unique way with animals too. I've never seen one that didn't like her. Even ones that were supposedly vicious would come to her for affection and trust her completely. Almost spooky. I still wish I could get her into some sort of career involving animals. I think she'd be in her element.


New Member
Number one thing I love about my daughter is her caring. Her sense of empathy is truly a beautiful thing to behold. Shame it doesn't show up at home but at least I get to see it frequently.

Number two is her sense of humor. It has really developed in the past few years and can now get smiles of adults and children -- a rare trait in my opinion.

Number three is her courage. My daughter is truly fearful of almost everything but she is willing to try. A prime example are roller coasters. She is terrified every time we hit an amusement park and it takes her an hour or so to muster up her courage but once she does, she will ride the coaster and love every second of it. I truly admire her willingness to try even when fearful!


Well-Known Member
Thanks for sharing all these positives. :thumb:It helps me to have a clearer picture of the people your children really are. It's really important for us to remember that our kids have good traits, even if they can be difficult to find sometimes. It is way too easy to dwell upon the negative: the diagnosis, the issues, the raging, the lack of normalcy. It can be dehumanizing to our kids & ourselves. They can become a problem to solve or a behavior to cure, instead of the child we love so dearly.


Roll With It
difficult child totally loves and adores animals. Goes nuts if he sees one being abused or neglected. Has called SPCA on one neighbor all by himself when he was 10!! Looked up the number in the phone book even!

He is SOOO creative and funny when not in a mood.

Now is trying to heal the wounds he inflicted on his sister and brother - truly working to help them heal!




New Member
Before drugs took over my difficult child he was...

The center of attention at any get together. He was loved by everyone and took great pride in getting along with every click at school.

He was a gifted athelete.

He has an incrediable artistic ability, he can draw anything.

He has a geniue concern for others and their feelings.

He always brought home sick or injured pets to nurse them back to health. He has a gentle touch with any animal.

He used to counsel others into doing the right thing, he would make a wonderful counselor. He took pride in preventing other's from fighting in school.

Thanks for the topic, it made my heart smile remembering just how special a son I have.....


Hound dog

Nana's are Beautiful

You're so right. It is important to remember our kids as people instead of dxes and behaviors and all the stresses and drama. It's a good idea to step back from time to time and remind ourselves of the positives our difficult children have going for them.

Great post. I've enjoyed reading.


Well-Known Member
Thanks, Lisa. I've enjoyed reading the topic as well. I'm struck by how many of our kids seem to do well with the vulnerable among us: young children, the elderly, other difficult children, animals. Maybe they have learned some compassion for others since they have had so many difficulties themselves.
Traci, your son sounds as though he has a good heart, very kind. I pray he can find the strength get past his addictions and get his life back on track. The world needs kind and special people like him.


Former desparate mom
My difficult child was the love of my life. Now he is a young man trying with to have a life.
I often think that if I had to work as hard to get through life as difficult child that I would have given up.
He knows people treat him like he is stupid or less than human. He continues to be kind. He always helps kids when he sees them struggle.
My difficult child wants to have a life but can't get out of the sack he seems to be stuck in. He is looking for the opening so that he can find the light at the end of the tunnel. He doesn't give up. He doesn't want me to give up but he uses me as the recipient of his frustration in a world that doesn't understand his frustration. He is a struggling hero even if he doesn't make it to that light. No one will know that but those of us who watch his struggle. Those of us who love him.He doesn't even know it himself.


Well-Known Member
Staff member
TM ~ What a nice idea for a thread.

Let's see. . .

My difficult child has an incredible quick wit. She has always been able to make me laugh.

She is very intelligent.

She has a lot of empathy for others.

She is very open-minded and passionate about her beliefs.

It's nice to stop and think about the good things about our children.