What was your marriage proposal like?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Fran, Feb 13, 2008.

  1. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    In honor of Valentine's Day, maybe we can share our marriage proposals or living togehter proposals.
    Were they romantic? a surprise? matter of fact? Practical? funny? well thought out? impulsive?

    How would you have dreamed a proposal to look like?
  2. Pam R

    Pam R New Member

    Practical. I had 4 infected wisdom teeth and no dental ins. He had dental insurance and wanted a stereo for his car.

    Without dental ins. I was going to use the tax returns to pay for the dental work. So if we got married (after living together for 13 yrs.) he could take the tax returns and get the stereo and I would have dental ins. for my teeth. (Also health ins.)

    So we did that. There was no "proposal" per se. I did say I wanted to be married on my grandmother's birthday, and that year it fell on a Saturday, so if we were going to do it, this was it.

    So in the course of a week, we pulled together a wedding with 40 guests, in our front yard. It was great fun and the kids loved the donkey rides. LOLOL

    Pam R.

    P.S. I had the health insurance for 15 yrs. His stereo was stolen a year later. LOLOL
  3. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    H, easy child, difficult child and I were vacationing in Cape Cod and having a nice time. A little past midweek, easy child asked us if were going to get married and difficult child chimed in to get married TODAY. We laughed and said "okay". The hounded us all day so we checked with the local town hall...there was a 3-day waiting period in MA following the blood test so it wouldn't have worked out since we were leaving by the time the 3 days were up.

    But upon our return home I spoke with my sister who had offered her home/yard for us to get married at in the past and she said sure. So, we sent out hand written invites to our family within a couple of days for 3 weeks later. My H had to remodel my sister's downstairs bathroom, I helped her paint her kitchen cabinets, my other two sisters came up a few days early and went through my sister's house like mules cleaning every nook and cranny, my daughters and nieces weeded the entire back patio and deck area around the pool, we borrowed patio sets with umbrellas from all of our friends and arranged them all over the deck and pool areas, hired a caterer and servants for the day, along with all glassware, crystal, flatware, etc., and bought all the champagne, wine, beer and liquor. I bought the girl's dresses at JC Penney's, bought my dress at Marshalls for $60 and H bought his summer suit at a local men's store and borrowed my brother in law's tie. Alltogether it cost, out of pocket, approximately $2500, give or take a bit.

    difficult child was the ring bearer, easy child the flower girl, we had a JP and were married under the trellis in my sister's yard which is covered and surrounded by wild flowers and wysteria vines.

    Our guests, which totaled around 60 (including all children), stood within just a few feet of us as we said our traditional vows and were married. It was a perfect weddding ceremony and reception. The food was great, the dress was mostly casual (think garden party) and everyone enjoyed themselves. There was very little cleanup and my family did all that so H and I could take our leave later that night - we stayed at a local fancy hotel and one of our friends secretly upgraded our room to the honeymoon suite and put champagne and strawberries in there for us with fresh flowers along with a GC to the Poconos resort for that weekend - 3 days. Nice, huh?

    So, I suppose you could say that our girls proposed to us rather than H to me.

    I guess the fairy tale romantic proposal of man down on knee with ring is something all young girls dream of...and I know it sounds nice to me...but I like the way things played out for us. I always felt that when H and I married, he would have to accept me as a package deal and be willing and able to be husband and father to my girls and the way in which we decided to get married fit perfectly into that ideal. We were a family before we made it legal and that is very special.

    Nice question Fran.
  4. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    I should of seen it coming. Not only do I have to take care of everything...I even had to do the proposing after 6 years.

    I just said...lets get married. he said ok.
  5. daralex

    daralex Clinging onto my sanity

    My 1st husband literally turned to me and said, Hey, wanna do it? (I had to pay for the rings!) I should have figured it out then! We were divorced several years later and I had to pay for everything the whole time - I hate when I reaize how stupid I was - but without him I wouldn't have my difficult child. He did me a favor and dropped dead a few years later - who says there's no such thing as karma!!!!
  6. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Bwaaahaaahaaaaa.....oh thank you for that great laugh this morning. I kept hoping my exh would drop dead, but no such luck. He's probably going to outlive us all; he's probably filled with preservatives from all the **** he puts into his body. Too funny!
  7. daralex

    daralex Clinging onto my sanity

    My favorite phrase - I miss my ex - but my aim is getting better!!!
  8. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    husband and I were in the midst of a month long torrid romance when he was transferred to NYC. Over the course of 2 or 3 months, our phone bills were through the roof. husband came home to break up since it wasn't practical. It was during the air traffic controller strike. On the way home husband was pretty sad because he had dumped me. He was stuck on the runway for 3 hrs next to a guy who said that maybe if he felt so bad, he should get married.
    Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I figured it was a practical choice. Long distance was very difficult. He called Monday night and asked me to marry him. I was so speechless I didn't know what to say. I said "thank you for such a nice compliment". Needless to say he laughed at me. I said yes and we were married 4months later. We had little money but we had a nice wedding. Lots of food, but I wore my mom's gown. My most expensive piece of clothing was my shoes.

    I wouldn't do well with a public proposal like you see on the Jumbotron at baseball games. I would be way to embarassed.
    In the end I didn't really have a preconcieved notion of how it should be done but husband's ways seem to suit my personality.

    On our 20th anniversary, he did get down on one knee and proposed with a beautiful engagement ring. It was sweet and built on years of hard work. He is a good guy.
  9. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    For some reason, I had an inkling...but I didn't really know, nor the "how" of it.
    I got a gift at husband's parents' house from husband. Shoebox size, wrapped to the nines (in a family that is still using 30 year old bows...this bow was NEW). Opened the box to find 2 more wrapped boxes. The first, very heavy, I opened, was a brick from the pasture. The second, equally as large but light, was the ring.
    When my brother in law asked what it was, I said "well, its either a beautiful birthstone ring for April, which is not my birthday, or....". husband shook his head to the first, but never finished the sentence, either! lol So I guess he never asked.
  10. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member

    Well we arent married but we have lived together for over 24 years now. How did that happen? Quite the little story.

    I had moved to N. Myrtle Beach 7/4/83 with my mom and Billy. I was miserable living with her to say the least. One evening to just get out I walked across the street from where she was living to this little amusement park. One of the guys that ran the place told me that I could ride anything I wanted to for free if it wasnt busy...cool! I was wandering around and hanging out with this cute guy who ran the spider ride. He tried to get rid of me and sent me off to talk to the guys who ran the games...lol. While there I met Tony who was hanging around talking to two girls who ran one of the games. He had this huge crush on one named Cookie but she didnt return the feelings. She pushed us off on each other and so after I made absolutely sure he wasnt taken by her...we went off to ride a few rides and then went back to his apartment. I thought I had hit the jackpot...a guy who worked and had his own apartment near the beach! (This after my first husband who refused to hold a job.)

    I never went home again. I stayed that first night, his boss drove me home in the morning, Tony told me to get some of my things and meet him back there that afternoon. I was waiting on his porch when he came home from work. Needless to say he met Billy, adored him, and I simply never left. He wanted kids from the get go. I was moved in with him on 7/15/83. Jamie was conceived that October!

    We so shouldnt have worked. The cards were completely stacked against this type of relationship but here we are 24.5 years later still hanging in there.
  11. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Ha! I believe it was 'marry me or I'm leaving.' ;)

  12. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    husband and I aren't technically married. After nasty divorces from our equally miserable exes, neither one of us was prepared to go down that road again.

    In an earlier thread, I talked about how we met. I'd had a crush on him since I was a little girl, and he and the other "big kids" in the neighbourhood used to drive by my house or hang out. Then we reconnected at work years later.

    After lots of work-lunches together, husband asked me out on a date. We planned to go out to the Saturday matinee, and then go out for lunch. I invited him to come over to my house for a cup of tea before we went to the movie.

    When he arrived, and I saw husband standing there in my doorway waiting to take me out on a date was the fulfillment of all those little girl wishes, when I dreamed that "the boy in the blue Chevelle" would marry me. I flew at him, he caught me in his arms and that was that. He never left, and we never made it to the movie. We have been together ever since.
  13. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    I don't really like to shop but I love to look at jewelry. One time, a new mall had opened with a truly wonderful jewelry store. I was admiring the rings, the bracelets, the earrings, the necklaces and then I saw THE ring. It was a truly beautiful engagement ring. I couldn't quit gushing about it for the next week. What was funny, I didn't really care that it was an engagement ring, I just cared that it was beautiful.

    Anyway, two weeks later we were out driving. Well, I was driving he was a passenger (he hated to drive). He started giving me directions and we ended up back at that mall. I looked at him and asked why we were here since neither needed anything. He said, "You'll see." My next comment was, "We better be here for that ring and you're going to have a long walk home." Sure enough, he'd called to have it fitted for me (I'd tried it on) and it was waiting for me. It still really hadn't registered that it was an engagement ring. It was close to my birthday so a birthday present made sense. He then said that since we were here and had this ring, maybe we should find wedding bands to go with the ring. That's when it finally dawned on me he was asking me to marry him.

    I don't regret a day of our marriage. He is a good man and I'll always have a soft spot for him. It's not his fault I changed the rules after 10 years by wanting to adopt a child and he never wanted to children.
  14. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    AWWW most of these are so sweet, some are very funny!!!

    Well as a person who DID NOT believe in marriage... I fell in love with husband the first day I met him...
    We had K... we were in Cali... for a wedding one of my oldest friends... K was around 13 months... we were in Sausalito,CA. One of my favorite places... I had lived there with an "uncle" on my own during High School...
    Anyway we walking along the water looking at the boats... we were dirt poor and just happy... The 3 of us. It is funny because I did not want to get married, husband Mom had been pushing and pushing... I told him if she didn't stop I was gonna leave!!! I was joking... of course!!! I was just happy being with him...

    So we had bought a couple of slices of pizza... all of sudden he gets down on one knee, I am holding K... He says how much he loves me, pulls out this beautiful simple diamond... That I still love!!!
    I of course say yes, crying and pick up K and hug him.
    The most wonderful part was when we were standing there, a man had a instant digital camera, he took a photo and a gave us a picture of the moment!!! So we have it framed!!!

    We have been together since 99' and married for 5 years... I go by how long we have been together!!! husband goes by how long we have been married!!!
    Our one argument!!! I tell him a piece of paper doesn't start my love for him... or my commitment.... nor does a ring.
  15. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    :916blusher: Does "How'd you like to do this EVERY night?" count as a proposal?

    That was the first one, the more romantic of the two! He was worthless and I was young and stupid. I was his first wife. After we divorced, he got married and divorced again four times that I know of. That's been years ago and I lost track of him (not that I WANTED to keep track of him!) - if he kept up that pace, he's probably up to 11 or 12 marriages by now! And no, I'm not kidding!

    With the second, I don't remember any specific proposal, we just ended up married, mostly because everybody else told me that I should marry him ... because we had a child. I was not quite as young as the first time around, but apparently just as stupid! It did NOT go well. The nicest thing I can find to say about him is that he managed to make the first one look almost good by comparison!

    My daughter had a great proposal though. They were just sitting there on the sofa watching TV and during a commercial he reached in his pocket, pulled out a ring box, told her how much he loved her and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, and asked her to marry him! I think she said, "Yes!" before he even finished proposing to her! Their fourth anniversary is coming up in May.
  16. Blondie

    Blondie New Member

    Rofl at "How'd you like to do this EVERY night?" hahahaha

    My husband was a guy who firmly told me before we even started dating (& don't get me started on THAT sotry of our meeting, I HATED him on sight! lolol ) that he totally did NOT eant to ever get married. At all. Never. End of! Was OK with me because I was going thru a very ugly, 4+ yrs to do it, divorce from Dex, which was not even final yet despite all I could do (Ex lived in another state).

    So, divorce went thru, finally. Iwas sad/happy/deighted/upset, just weird. But mostly relieved as I could be, cause Dex was a multiple substance abuser/junkie, wife beater :( AND A COP if you can believe that, arrgh; who was stalker-ish and just plain scary at the time. (He no longer is. Yay)

    So about 6 months go by. husband & I are pretty much living together; have been for almost years. His best friend forever, who is now a doctor, had just gotten accepted to medical school, plus it was the BFF's pparents' anniversary party (they were & are good friends altho the husband is now deceased).

    husband & I go out to the liquor store & grocery market, I buy lotsa yummies to make-&-take for the celebration; husband buys 3 bottles of Tattinger champagne (yum!).

    We get back to apartment. I am in Living room watching the news & waiting for difficult child #1, my 6 yr old son, to get out of bathroom so I can shower & get pretty for the party. JB is in kitchen, and calls to me, "Blondie, want champagne? I'm gonna open one of these bottles!"
    I yelled on him right much because that champagne was meant to be for the party, d-- it!

    He brought me a glass anyway.

    With my diamond in the bottom of it.:love-very:

    Creative, huh?


    Blondie, nostalgic
  17. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    I have to say this had me spitting out my coffee. Sounds about right for young and clueless that most of us were. ROFLMBO. I love it.
  18. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Donna -

    That statement needed a "shoots coffee" warning. OMG.

    Well I was in NYC doing a model shoot for Guess jeans. It was Spring and the Cherry Blossoms were so intoxicating in Central park. We took a break from the shoot and some of us girls wandered into the seemingly nicest pub for an afternoon toddy.

    And in he walked. You could only see his outline for the back lighting in the dark bar - my eyes had not adjusted. He was average height, a little longer than shoulder length golden blond hair with hints of silver, deep pools of glacier ice for eyes, and rugged features. When he removed his leather jacket it was apparent he was a true biker. His tattoos were as colorful as his words were smooth.

    I caught his glance and we stared. I knew he was a bad boy. I didn't care. He nodded to the bartender, sent me a drink. I in kind sent him a beer. We never spoke.

    I returned home three months later to find him sitting in my living room. He was a friend of a friend, and our eyes met again. No words were spoken once again, and he left out of my life on a Pan/Shovel custom job Harley. It was so loud when he turned it over, it jumped my heart.

    A few weeks later - I ran out of gas and called a mutual friend. They sent him instead. He presented me with a cricket box, and asked me to dinner.
    I accepted, and we talked into the wee hours of the morning. Loves first kiss was like dynamite.

    We started dating after that - I knew him about a year before my son met him. I knew him 3 years before he proposed. He brought me breakfast in bed one morning, and on the breakfast tray was a ring box. In it was the goddiest, piece of glass hunka-junk with glue all over it stuck to an adjustable ring band. He got down on one knee and said "I know it's not the ring of your dreams, but....." and I stared at this cruddy ring thinking - "Is he out of his pea picking mind? he has GOT to be kidding, I'm not doing the 'it's all I have now cigar band thing' I've already divorced from the "i'll give you the moon if you wait junk- and about the time I made a face he pulled a beanie donkey out from under his shirt and on the end of the beanie donkeys hoof was a beautiful 1ct. marquis cut white gold ring.

    Then on bended knee he said "If you'll have me I'd like to spend the rest of my life with you." And I accepted. That was 8 years ago. And while we're not married we share a home, a life, problems, joys and hearts.

    For me he is loves true kiss.

    Oh and the part about being in NYC and working for Guess jeans - that's not true. But it kept ya going didn't it? :tongue:I did meet him in a pub- and the rest of it is true. And he's been a fantastic dad for difficult child, where most step-dads aren't - we're very blessed.
  19. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Did you get that idea from me? Actually, I tried that, we sent out the 100+ invitations, bought everything, scheduled the day in my family's garden. Then husband's best man told him not to marry me, so he called it off. I left, but we still saw each other, and I ended up pregnant about 4 months later. He said, "Well, I guess we should get married." I bought the rings so that he couldn't back out again.

    We scheduled the wedding for the courthouse on January 28th, 1986. We woke up in the morning and the Challenger had exploded. I thought for sure that he was going to back out again. There were 3 guests, and I had a hard time getting husband to take the day off work. We spent the night at the local Hilton, and that was our honeymoon.

    Let's just say, we grew into each other...
  20. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Oh Fran - you sure do know how to hit a nerve, LOL. We're celebrating our 20th anniversary in a week and I'm *still* waiting for a proposal.

    He was in the Navy and his roommate wanted an excuse for a party, so he looked at husband and me and said "You guys have been dating for 5 months, why don't you get married?" So we pulled out a calendar and figured out when the sub would be in port and who would have duty on what day and ... voila. We got married.

    It was, by the way, the best wedding I've ever been to. Informal "aloha" attired at the sub-base chapel in Pearl Harbor, with "reception" at Honeymoon Beach (no joke) on Hickham Air Force Base - we played volleyball, drank beer, and barbecued. A wonderful day.

    I do point out to my kids, every commercial and movie, the *proper* way to propose. I don't guess I'm ever going to get one from husband. In spite of 20 years of kvetching I think he just doesn't understand that it would be nice - hearts and flowers, etc.