I mentioned in an earlier post that I had hoped to contact my psychiatrist from way back who knows all of the history between L and her dad and Dr. C so that I wouldn't have to start fresh. I feel like I've come to terms with the past but the current situation is unbearable and of course it all stems from the past. So, I looked up Dr. K this morning, and she is still listed at her home address, which is where she practiced from when I was seeing her. Her phone is disconnected, though. So I looked up her medical license, and she is still licensed to practice. I hate to admit that I searched the obituaries and did not see anything for her so I assume she is still alive, although she would be 69 years old now and I would be retired at that age if my circumstances permitted. Sadly, I know people of that age that don't have all of their faculties about them, either. The stuff that happened with L and her dad and Dr. C was a known scandal at the time, with professionals taking sides when I was wholly unaware that people were siding with me. Many people supported them at first, but then they were used up and thrown by the wayside. But I don't know who is and isn't to be trusted to this day. Many people who I took into my confidence back in the day later either testified for L's dad because they were on his side or gave him hell because they thought he was a ------- and then I paid because he would be angry and he would tell L how horribly I'd disabused him with people in his profession... I don't need to say more. You know what I mean. What would you do? Would you take a chance and write to her? If you wrote, how much would you say? I realize that she might not be able to see me, but perhaps she could refer me to someone who would not balk at being told that their peers are the monsters that they really are? I don't know. Is it all too fanciful? I need a medications tweak, I'm sure. I had hoped last month that I could wean off of the Buproprian and had myself down to 100 m a day but I cranked it back up to 300 over the weekend. Sorry - I'm babbling. Thank you in advance for any ideas you have that may help.