I can't believe I have finally found a place where someone might understand what our family is going through. Our daughter is almost 4 and has been different from day one. She screamed so hard and long in the hospital after she was born that the nurses didn't know what to do. She screamed (supposedly "colic") for pretty much her whole first year. It was miserable. She has always been aggressive and mean to other kids. My brother does not speak to me anymore because she hit his daughter over the head with a toy and taunted her verbally at the ripe old age of just turning two. We recently visited my husbands family, and his sister's family left early because their daughter was scared of ours by the end of the weekend. She is about to get kicked out of preschool for being aggressive to other kids. She'll hit or scratch often just out of the blue or because she just decides she doesn't like a certain child. She'll often just walk up to random people in public and hit them. (which has almost gotten my us in big trouble) I hate to say it, but around the house she is just a jerk. She goes out of her way to do things that are the opposite of what she is supposed to do. Anything you ask of her, she will automatically say "no, I will never do (whatever it is)." If she asks for something and I even say that we'll do it in a few minutes she'll call me a "dummyhead", or tell me she is going to hit or scratch me (and often does), or just freak out. Back when she napped, she'd wake up from her naps and scream for literally hours for no apparent reason. When we first started doing time outs with her, she'd rage for 1-2 hours, pee on her bed, yell, scream, throw things, etc. (We resorted to time outs for when she lashed out physically at one of us). We also have a daughter who is 1, who lives her life with the background of her sister yelling and screaming and whining. We walk on eggshells not knowing what will set her off. The other day I got so frustrated over her freaking out that we all had to share the remainder of the milk that tears started rolling down my face, wondering why we can't ever just be happy and have fun, why it has to be so hard. Then later in the day she started following me around the house saying "Mommy, cry for real". When I asked her why, she said "because I *love* it!". A few months ago when she was sick she said to me "Why am I usually mean to mommy but I am being nice today". What's up with that?!? She is an extremely verbal and intelligent kid, but has never been very affectionate. So, my main question is where do we go for help? We went to a psychologist, who suggested ODD or Asberger's, but was really not very helpful. Most people just blame us for being bad parents, but they have no idea how hard and exhausting it is, and nothing ever really works, anyway. Thanks for any advice you can offer!!